Hi,

My mum sadly passed away in August in Hospital, aged only 52.

I have taken on the responsibility of arranging her funeral.

She left no will nor did she have any assets, at the time of her death she was claiming ESA and living in a hostel.

I have filled in the post office form to close her account but I doubt very much that there was much if anything in there as I went to her accommodation after she passed and she had been counting coppers before she was taken to hospital.

I have spoken to the DWP bereavement service this morning about help with funeral costs, they told me it is unlikely I will get any help as I have a working sister and mum had 3 siblings too.

My sister hasn't spoken to my mum in 10 years after she left to live with our dad at 14, their relationship broke down after mums mental health and alcohol issues rendered her unable to care for my sister.

The same goes for mums brother and sisters, they haven't spoken in many years, due to my mums issues and how difficult she was to maintain a relationship with.

I have stood by her, supported and helped her as much as possible and remained in regular contact with her, going on days out and spending quality time together, I was with her the whole week leading to her passing and held her hand in her last moments.

I am a lone parent, working 18 hours a week, I get a working and child tax credit and housing benefit reduction, so I believe because of that I am eligible to claim for help, I have asked them to send me the form to complete but is there really any point in me doing that now that they have said there are other adults who could pay? They wont!

They also told me I would be responsible for any over-payment of benefit mum might of received, but if the way they see it is all close relatives should be responsible for the funeral, why not hold them all responsible for over-payments too?

I have not gone all out on her funeral, no cars or masses of flowers or over priced coffin, just a basic graveside humanist ceremony in the same cemetery as her parents, although costs are slightly higher as she is being transported from the south of England to the north of England.

Sorry, waffling. So my question is, should I bother applying for funeral expenses or just focus on getting the funds and making an arrangement with the funeral directors?

Thank you.

Sorry for your loss...

Its their mother

I cant believe they wont each chip in a few £k to help

I only have 1 sister who hasnt spoken to our mum in over 10 years, same goes for mums 3 siblings.

I am sorry about your loss. It looks like the other part of the family probably think good riddance. However don't let this take you down. Do what ever you think is right for your mum. As later on you do not really want to think why didn't I do this ?

I am sorry about your loss. It looks like the other part of the family probably think good riddance. However don't let this take you down. Do what ever you think is right for your mum. As later on you do not really want to think why didn't I do this ?

You are right. Mum didn't really leave any wishes except that she told me she hated the thought of cremation, which i have honoured. all in all though I have kept the costs low, around £3000 so that if i am declined help from the dwp i can make it manageable.

Please accept our sincere condolences.

Useful links...

https://www.gov.uk/funeral-payments/eligibility

To qualify you must be ......a close relative or close friend of the deceased.....If you get a Funeral Payment, you’ll usually have to pay the government back from any money you get from the person’s estate (If any)

In general, individuals who receive (or have partners who receive) Income Support, (income-based) Jobseeker’s Allowance, Pension Credit, Housing Benefit, Council Tax Benefit, some forms of Working Tax Credit, or some higher rates of Child Tax Credit may be eligible to receive a one-off Funeral Payment from the Social Fund. However, these individuals will likely need to be either the spouse or civil partner of the deceased, the parent or guardian of the deceased, or a friend or relative so close to the deceased that it is reasonable that (s)he has accepted the responsibility of organising the funeral.

https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/help-paying-for-a-funeral

http://www.facingbereavement.co.uk/funeralcostassistance.html

Andy

They [DWP] also told me I would be responsible for any over-payment of benefit mum might of received, but if the way they see it is all close relatives should be responsible for the funeral, why not hold them all responsible for over-payments too?

It is the estate and its executors that are responsible for any overpayment of benefits along with any other debt. If there are insufficient funds left after paying for the funeral, then they won't get their money back.

Should the estate be insolvent, then the best advice I can give is to step away from it lest you are found to be intermeddling.

It is the estate and its executors that are responsible for any overpayment of benefits along with any other debt. If there are insufficient funds left after paying for the funeral, then they won't get their money back.

 

Should the estate be insolvent, then the best advice I can give is to step away from it lest you are found to be intermeddling.

I do hope that no contract has been signed with a funeral services company, without any idea as to how the contract will be paid,

If so, the person signing the contract will be responsible for the costs and they must make the funeral company aware that there is a problem with finding money to pay the bill.

I would suggest contacting the council closest to where the person died to see what help can be provided.

Hi

This may be of use to you but it does mean stepping back from arranging any funeral.

https://www.funeralzone.co.uk/help-resources/arranging-a-funeral/what-is-a-paupers-funeral-public-health-funerals-explained

You used to get a small flat payment from the govt and any other help was down to YOU being on benefits, not the deceased. Now local authorities cant have bodies clogging up their mortuaries so they often arrange what was called a paupers funeral if they cant find someone to chase up to arrange ( and pay) for one.

Ultimately the deceased pays for their own funeral but that always assumes they have the funds or assets to do so