Marc Gander - The Consumer Survival Handbook


A 220 page introduction to all things consumer related by our own BankFodder.

Includes energy companies, mobile phone providers, retailers, banks, insurance companies,debt collection agencies, reclaim companies, secondhand car sellers, cowboy garages, cowboy builders and all the rest who put their own profits before you.

£6.99



Patricia Pearl - Small Claims Procedure - A Practical Guide


An excellent guide for the layperson in how to use the County Court - a must if you are intending to start a claim.

£19.99 + £1.50 (P&P)


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  1. #41
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    Default Re: Ex Husband and Childcare Issues

    Quote Originally Posted by honeybee13 View Post
    Is it practical for the children to split their time 50/50 with schools etc? I'm not sure I understand the bit about CM, sorry.

    I've had dealings with a few manipulative people in my time and something that cruzhughes said made me think. Your new partner does seem very interested in money, or spending it at least and I had a Machiavellian thought. I don't see why your ex should have a claim on the house if he's signed an agreement to give it up, but I do hope your partner isn't thinking that you could sign the house over to him in order to avoid claims from your ex.

    If I'm being paranoid, I'm sure people will be quick to tell me.


    HB

    I am not sure that 50/50 care is right for my children, but if I go to Mediationicon with that as a starting point, I might be on a highway to getting somewhere near what I want, which is three weekends to him and one with me. Its so difficult arranging shared care, because I want my children myself, the thing is that I know I don't have the mental energy for two teenagers, and coping on my own is difficult. My ex husband has a duty to his children. I'm not his child minder. selfishly, I am entitled to a life, and if I am happy my children will benefit from that. at the moment, I feel very stressed as I rarely have any time to breathe


  2. #42
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    Default Re: Ex Husband and Childcare Issues

    Quote Originally Posted by cruzhughes View Post
    Something doesn’t ring true to me.

    More alarm bells are ringing to motives of new partner.

    He seems a wrong un and he’s already put you under a massive financial burden. When you were managing the mortgageicon and bills on your own before he came along.

    Now you have double the debt and outgoings per month and have handed him half your house and cash on a plate. And he’s not contributing or did he to warrant what he’s now got in the short time you’ve been together.

    Whereas you have lost out big time

    I have lost out big time - I know this. I'm trying to make the best of a situation that I have created myself. its quite depressing at times!


  3. #43
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    Default Re: Ex Husband and Childcare Issues

    Quote Originally Posted by BazzaS View Post
    Get any money / asset for the children put into a trust that the new partner has no claim on nor power over. Then see how interested the new partner remains in it.

    I don't know how to get a lump sum from my ex. He will say that he is entitled to the money from the house as it equates to his share of the equity. he agreed to sign me the house in return for the £25k.


    This money will be paid to him in the next couple of months. How can I justify to him that I am entited to any of that for his children?


  4. #44
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    Default Re: Ex Husband and Childcare Issues

    Any further conversation woud be appreciated - opinion counts for a lot


  5. #45
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    Default Re: Ex Husband and Childcare Issues

    on what grounds would I have that would stand up in court, would I have any claim over any of the money that I am about to pay my ex husband for is share of the equity from the ex marital home?


    I'm concerned that the mnute I land any claim over that money he will flip his lid and I will end up with more issues than I already have


  6. #46
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    Default Re: Ex Husband and Childcare Issues

    Which is why I think that you desperately need to talk to a solicitor, most will give you an initial consultation for free and will tell you if they believe that you have a case.

    If you do, whatever your solicitor costs you will be worth every penny.

    We could use your help
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  7. #47
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    Default Re: Ex Husband and Childcare Issues

    I have my first Mediationicon meeting tomorrow - the person I am seeing is also a solicitor so I will discuss it with her - Mediationicon should help me sort out the finances as well. I'm fed up of having to pay the lionshare of everything. Just because I am divorced from my childrens father doesn't mean that he can pay the minimum. if we were living together he would behave in a normal way and wouldn't question the money spent on his children. why does divorceicon caused people to question money spent on their children? I know this doesn't happen in all cases, but probably happens too often. I just feel that my ex husband is trying to squirm out of so much - am I not entitled to my life too?


  8. #48
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    Default Re: Ex Husband and Childcare Issues

    Are you seeing a solicitor who can advise you?
    Or a mediator (who may also be a solicitor) but if acting as a mediator CANNOT advise you while remaining a neutral mediator.

    A mediator can suggest options to explore that one or. Oth of the parties hadnít considered, though. Just donít expect advice, since that compromises their neutrality.


  9. #49
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    Default Re: Ex Husband and Childcare Issues

    went to my MIAM and it was very good meeting.


    The downside s that my ex initially refused to attend, but has since changed his mind!


    So lets see what happens.


    I don't hold my breath TBH, and certainly feel that I should just keep my children with me. if it is such a battle - why am I bothering? its men like my ex husband that give absent fathers a bad name.


  10. #50
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    Default

    UPDATE

    In recent weeks there have been some difficult situations.

    Firstly with my ex husband being so very unreliable with regards to the timetable of when he will have his children. There is now NO communication between us - so all comms is being diverted through the children. This is not what I want and never what I wanted. He is dropping them back with no notice - so I am just taking them back. My patience is being tested and I am not coping well at all. I am so stressed I cannot cope with things anymore. I feel like this is killing me.

    I had a recent situation recently where my ex was in the car behind me waving his arms etc.
    I got out of my car, and to cut a long story short he drove his car at me.

    I reported it to the police (turns out he did too) he was raging with fury and was looking for a fight.
    He blames my partner for forcing him to have his children.

    anyway long story short - my ex was interviewed by the police and the outcome is that he has to attend a domestic violence course. He has to learn to control his temper.

    This morning I check my bank account and he has reduced the amount of child maintenance he pays to me.
    no notice, no warning - just cut it by £100 a month.

    He has previously complained that he pays too much (2 teenage daughters)
    He earns approx. £30k and is now paying me £37.50 per child per week.
    he has them approx. 2 nights per week on average
    - although I am sure that if I worked it out it was much less than that.

    my issue is that I don't know where this well end.
    I am about to pay him £25k for his share of the matrimonial home (we agreed this months and months ago) when we split up there was approx. £34k equity. and although he is possibly not entitled to 50% of that (£17k), because I had the children with me and the advice I have been given is that in these situations there is a move away from equal equity.

    I remortgaged the house with my now partner and my ex husband signed the transfer papers with the agreement that I honour my proposal of the £25k. (I will be in funds at the end of this month to discharge my liability to my ex0husband) and am looking forward to doing just that!

    my concern is that this might go skyward and he might try to claim that he is entitled to more than £25k, although we owned the house as joint tenants he did not honour his agreement with the bank and pay his share of the mortgageicon. I ended up paying the mortgageicon on full for over 2.5 years and the maintenance costs.

    my current partner is not aware of the agreement that I have with my ex-husband, and I am concerned that my ex-husband (who is being fuelled by his current gf) will keep coming after me come what may, and wont stop until he breaks me.

    I feel like I am being squeezed, because he doesn't want to have his children and is forcing my hand by hitting me financially. At the end of the day when he cuts the money for his children, it affects their quality of life, not to mention their wellbeing. I just am at my wits end, and don't know what to do.


    ANY HELP OR ADVICE WOULD BE GRATEFUL (edited)

    can someone help me.... please

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  11. #51
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    Default Re: Ex Husband and Childcare Issues

    told you what to do in post 18

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  12. #52
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    Default Re: Ex Husband and Childcare Issues

    Quote Originally Posted by dx100uk View Post
    Pers i'd not be giving him any ruddy lump some yntil he pays his way IN YOUR MIND s way

    Else deduct what you reasonably feel is correct for now and the future
    And tell him to take you to court if he doesnt like it!!

    Then the truth will out!!

    As far and HE and his GF are concerned he will pay the minimum and that's it.


    with regards to the equity - the legal advice I have taken says that he could come after me for 50% of the equity up until December last year.


    its a real mess



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