Hi

I will try to keep this post relatively short and to the point but please bear with me.

I have been with my current employer for 4 and a half years and have held the same senior position all of that time.

I have done well at my job doing many things above and beyond my remit but did it all for the good of the company,

I have increased revenue and profitability and used to love working there.

Everything has been fine until we took on a new member of staff who has spoken to me aggressively (face to face and by email)

who has been talking about me to our Director to the point that I am the one receiving nasty emails from our Director and Whatsapp voicenotes,

including one admitting that he has been 'digging me out lately' because I am miserable, long faced and aggressive.

When asked who had said that he said every single member of staff,

which I know isn't true it is the one individual who now seems to be his best friend.

I head up our Sales Department and the new person (he has been here nearly a year now and I have really tried my best to get on with him) has lost us lots of accounts and cost us money,

all of this goes either unnoticed or unmentioned whilst I am constantly criticised about being unhappy about it.

At one point he questioned a member of staff about one of my actions on the telephone to a customer

who confirmed that I had done everything correctly,

he then left me a voicenote saying I must take more care and not make mistakes 'but if he was wrong then accept his apology'.

He knew full well that I had not made a mistake, but seemed to want to provoke a reaction.

He is keen for us to 'go out for a drink' to discuss this as my attitude is detrimental to the business, yet does nothing about the new person who calls me at all hours of the weekend drunk (I no longer answer) asking to take me out for a drink.

I don't know what to do, I think when we have his 'chat' he may want to dismiss me and I need to protect myself. I have all copies of the emails and voicenotes and his admission that he has been 'digging me out' and I don't want to leave but feel I will have no choice if this bullying carries on.

It is making me depressed and my doctor has prescribed medication and counselling.

I feel so upset that a job I love can be ruined by the actions of 1-2 people.

Thank you in advance.

Are you a member of a union?

are the phone calls from the new person to a landline or mobile?

If the latter then you have ample evidnce of unwarranted intrusion into your home life (ie harassment).

are your calls at work recorded,

if so request a copy under the subject access regs of the DPA,

they cant deny you them.

If they want to know why ( it is not theirs to ask why anyway tell them that you want an opinion form other seniors as to whether there is anything wrong with your telephone manner and to pinpoint exactly what it is.

Where are the other directors of the company and are they involved in the day to day?

make a formal representation if you decide to say anything, off the record "chats" are not off the record when it gets to the nitty gritty.

On the face of it any dismissal would cost them dearly as I doubt either the director or the new sales person would behave in the same way if you were a man.

It may be prudent to consider looking for another job anyway,

their loss not yours should you take up an offer.

your exit interview wont be something they would want to look forward to if they cant see the problem now.

Aren't you in a position to sack this guy because he's costing money to the company?

Can you give him warnings?

In any case, every time he costs money, record it somewhere, email is best.

Print a copy and keep it.

After a few incidents someone must do something otherwise they'll be in trouble when you go to the top with evidence.

Regarding the drunk telephone calls, if it happens again, record him and make it clear that the calls are not welcome.

Then report him.

Is he related to someone more senior than you?

To be honest, it is your decision to make.

Do you want to be a pushover

or

Do you want to stand up to a bully?

Bullies have a way of getting the support of others before bullying a person.

That's the reason the Director is on his/her side.

Anyway, like in the school playground, if you stand up to bullies, they tend to back down.

You could get all the strategies in the world but if you are not interested in fighting back they would do you no good.

So back to my initial question; what do you want?

Stand up or be bullied

Drunken phone calls at the weekend? Asking you out for a drink? wow!! And the director is OK with this? And I agree with Erics brother, this would not be happening if you were a man.

I know this has happened at the company where I work, and it was reported to HR, the perpetrator (senior manager) was sacked. Do you have an HR person / department with a complaints procedure?

Everything else is bad, but

The phone calls, really take this over the edge

https://www.gov.uk/report-stalker

The guy is stalking you and it's a crime, report it to the police.

I would also contact your union if you are in one, so you can get full free legal advice and they can get the ball rolling. If you do it solo, theyll make your life hell. Union legal team backing you and you have them backed into a corner with no way out.

Question from your initial post:

I must ask did you give this individual staff member your personal email address & whatsapp address?

How did this new individual staff member obtain your personal email address & whatsapp address ???

Have you signed anything giving permission for the above to be shared with other employees?

Also have a look at this ACAS link Social media in the workplace: http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=3375

I think I would have to say that, if you are not in a union, you need to consult a solicitor as soon as possible.

I wish I could say otherwise, but this is simply not going to end happily, and goes beyond the "normal" workplace bullying and harassment.

I don't agree that "standing up for yourself" will cause these bullies to back down,

primarily because this goes way beyond "bullying",

but also because nobody should need to have to stand up for themselves in the face of this sort of behaviour.

London1971 is right

- this is criminal behaviour and needs to be treated as such.

But unless this company are very unusual,

there will be no way back for you from this situation,

so you need to take the offensive and lawyer up first,

so that you are in control of the manner of your exit, if that is what it comes to.

In serious situations like this, people's biggest mistake is not calling for representation soon enough.

Yes. Perhaps find a good employment law solicitor, some of them will give an initial free consultation!

As for the phonecalls, I am a guy, and was stalked by my ex wife for a time, many years ago. Hundreds of phone calls, messages, trying to call my work and get me sacked. Frankly it was terrifying!

Back in 2000, this was not a criminal offence, so i had to sit and take it. If this was happening to me now in 2017 I wouldn't hesitate to report it to the police.

This is a warning bell. Listen to what the others have said. You need to start collectiing the evidence. Also get in touch with a union or even a solicitor. Then see what happens.

Hi All

Thank you all so much for your responses. To answer all of your questions:-

1. There are only 2 directors of the company, newbie (as he shall be referred to) and his wife. She is a silent partner and visits the business rarely (twice in my 4 and a half years).

2. Regarding my whatsapp and personal phone number: When I joined the deal was that I use my own mobile for work business (but they will pick up the bill). Needless to say this came to a halt back in September when our Director said he would no longer be paying for it.

3. The only person I can go to is the Director (we have no HR department) and when I did he sent a voicenote back saying he can't believe that this guy rings me and if he does what does he say. This is easily proved on my part as everything is stored on it.

4. I am actively looking for a job.

5. The Director seems to undermine me at every turn nowadays, for instance yesterday I was out of office cold calling in London (beats actually being here) and under the ruse of checking for the receipt for my annual season ticket (which company pays for) he has just sent me an email how I travelled into London.

I responded that I travelled into London by train. His words and I quote 'Nothing on Oyster? I was checking the renewal thing. It shows historical journeys. You last used it on Friday 29th December?'

6. I responded that the barriers were open/not working and that it very strange. That said I also used it on Saturday (my daughter used hers at the same time) and that didn't show.

7. He also messaged a colleague (far junior to me) asking if myself and another colleague he has it in for were in over the Xmas period. I have a copy of the message.

8. Anyone know where I stand regarding 'constructive dismissal'. He obviously is looking to pick a fight with me however he can and I am gradually getting worn down by it.

We really are a small company and I do my best to get on with everyone but this one individual (newbie) is in our Operations Team and I have to speak to him regularly.

Thanks All

Sorry I forgot to put in the Director who is here most days is Newbies friend not newbie himself.

Rather sad that he would pay for tickets to a charity ball for him and his girlfriend rather than other members of the team who have been here 4+ years.

Sadly I am no longer a member of a union,

I would also like to add that I am not the sort of person you can normally bully but when I mention things that have cost us money somehow they are either ignored or swung around on me and my team.

Sad sorry state of affairs.

https://www.gov.uk/dismissal/unfair-and-constructive-dismissal

Constructive dismissal

Constructive dismissal is when you’re forced to leave your job against your will because of your employer’s conduct.

The reasons you leave your job must be serious, for example, they:

don’t pay you or suddenly demote you for no reason

force you to accept unreasonable changes to how you work - eg tell you to work night shifts when your contract is only for day work

let other employees harass or bully you

Your employer’s breach of contract may be one serious incident or a series of incidents that are serious when taken together.

You should try and sort any issues out by speaking to your employer to solve the dispute.

If you do have a case for constructive dismissal, you should leave your job immediately - your employer may argue that, by staying, you accepted the conduct or treatment.

Text taken from Gov.uk

Report drunken phone call guy to the police immediately. This is a separate issue, you have the evidence on your mobile, it's criminal behaviour. I would imagine you are worried about the repercussions, it's understandable, they could sack you, which would really not be very wise on their part as you are entitled to take it to a tribunal (no fees anymore) and claim for unfair dismissal, and cost them a lot of money.

Have you shown your director evidence of these calls? as he should be investigating said employee for gross misconduct.

Damn. Just posted a lengthy reply that got eaten.

You need to be careful here. Drunken and abusive phone calls are a criminal offense. But asking about your travel claims and whereabouts is normal business practice. It is perfectly legitimate to ask where you are, especially if that seems to contradict your travel claims. You may be correct that the questions are "pointed". But they are legitimate.

You cannot claim constructive unfair dismissal unless you are immediately reacting to a threat of unreasonable behaviour (which you are not) or have completed the entire grievance procedure. Even then, such claims are notoriously difficult to win. Based on what you say here, I cannot see any realistic prospect of success.

It is unfortunate you are no longer in a union. Joining now, after the issue has begun, will not help. They won't represent you, especially since this may well become a complex and costly case for them. So I think your only real options are to get a solicitor, or leave. Not particularly great options, I know, but I can't see any other routes.

Sadly my union representatives both died (GMB Union).

The thing is I can speak to our Director but as explained we are a small company only 12 of us work here.

I am normally and have an email to prove that I am the most senior member of staff.

When I questioned said newbie about something he came back with 'you are not my boss'.

He is a sexist bully (I also have proof of this in an email with him saying we should get rid of/not employ women

(I cannot give the job description as I would like my company to remain anonymous at the moment) as they will always have childcare issues which make the unreliable.

I suppose all I can do is grin and bear it until I find another job,

or let my Director take me out to dinner as he wants to and see how it goes.

Failing that maybe a compromise agreement?

LEGAL ADVICE!!!!

I appreciate your position, but you need to be more objective and you can't be!

Let me explain.

Every month some very junior member of staff in another department can question my travel expenses.

And I am not her boss!

It is called accountability...

Nobody had a right to have their claims for money, or their time, unquestioned.

That is a part of employment.

So, you see, being right or wrong about motives is irrelevant

- these are legitimate questions and challenging his right to ask them makes YOU look suspect!

And this won't help right now, but I'm going to drop a heavy hint.

From time to time some of my colleagues have died.

Fortunately not very often.

When they do WE REPLACE THEM!

You don't leave a union because your rep died!

(In case I didn't mention it, I'm a union official!)

It's unfortunate, but part of life.

It isn't a good reason to leave yourself unprotected.

Might be worth checking insurance policies

- you might, if your are lucky, that legal insurance included somewhere.

But such insurances never replace a damned good union.

They especially never replace the kind of specialist, top notch lawyers we retain.

Next job... Join a union! No excuses...

Just curious, I thought it is only Solicitors that can give legal advice?

correct.

However anyone can give advice on here, but it must all be taken with a grain of salt and you have to evaluate each response against another

I think SANGIE is emphasising the need for legal advice to be sought from a Pro through a union as opposed to giving actual legal advice....

Sangie can give advice relating to legal matters.

They just can’t call themselves a solicitor if they aren’t, nor charge for it without making clear they aren’t a solicitor, (neither of which they are doing).

Hi All

**************UPDATE**********************

So things have really gone up a notch this week.

My Boss started screaming shouting and swearing at me in front of the whole office on Wednesday.

I did not respond but calmly walked to my office,

he then followed me into my office and continued his rant

- culminating in a huge door slam.

He hasn't apologised and I am going to send him an email today (I have been out of office since then due to meetings) saying how much he upset me and how it makes me feel and I don't think I should be spoken to like that. Or words to that effect.

On another note he has also given all of the full time staff a new contract stating that he is no longer paying sick leave and we will only be entitled to SSP. I haven't signed this as I do not agree to the changes.

Am I correct in maintaining this stance?

Thank you

legally yes

but dont expect to remain in post beyond the next mistake you make.

As for boss screaming at you,

that can be assault if the words used were threatening in nature or you had a genuine fear of harm.

No-one should suffer that so consider writing to the directors of the company and let them know that you want them to put an end to this intemperate behaviour or you will consider making a criminal complaint with all of its consequences

Good old days when a punch in the face would have sorted all of this immediately...

No police, no investigation, no emails, no paperwork, just a good old "get back in your cage" punch.

Sometimes I'm so tempted to do it one more time in modern days just to see if it still works.

Obviously op, don't do it, unless you're as old school as me and can blame your age.

Good old days when a punch in the face would have sorted all of this immediately...

No police, no investigation, no emails, no paperwork, just a good old "get back in your cage" punch.

Sometimes I'm so tempted to do it one more time in modern days just to see if it still works.

Obviously op, don't do it, unless you're as old school as me and can blame your age.

Hi king.

I think we've had this conversation before. CAG doesn't condone violence.

HB