it probably is as complex as it sounds, but any help would be greatly appreciated:

A couple of years ago, I suffered a catastrophic loss of income due to a provider with whom I had been working with for some time, went under.

The details of this are irrelevant to the questions I have for this forum I guess, but I hope it adds context to the following:

When I lost my income for that time, I had a number of essential commitments that my ignorance of alternatives, led to me getting into significant debt.

In spite of this, there were brief moments of clarity that allowed me to make some more sensible financial decisions,

one of which was getting rid of my petrol guzzling car that I loved almost more than life itself (ok, a bit excessive maybe).

The car concerned was bought from BMW on a PCP over 4 years, and this being my third from the same dealer and same salesman, I was more than happy to deal with him again.

As with most PCP deals, payments varied depending on the estimated mileage over term of the agreement.

the deal that attracted me was based on 8000 miles per year,

which I immediately knew might not be enough,

I asked the salesman what he would recommend;

increasing the mileage (which I wanted to do),

or increasing the payments to accommodate the extra mileage on the contract.

I told the salesman that there was a possibility that I could go considerably over the 8000 miles,

the salesman replied: "you should be fine-I'd leave it as it is, and the GFV will swallow everything up".

I took his advice and went ahead with my dream car, and loved every minute of owning it,

until I found myself being unable to justify keeping the car,

in spite of it being 4 months before the end of the 4 year agreement.

I decided to downsize and went back to BMW again and found a car that was less in monthly outgoings,

and more economical to run,

and it seemed like a great idea at the time.

I said I'd take the car, paid £1000 deposit, and that was that.

It's worth noting that I didn't sign any paperwork,

just verbally agreed that I'd take the car (although I accept that could constitute a verbal contract).

However, a week later, it seemed like a really bad idea,

I contacted the Dealership to say that I couldn't justify the cost,

stated that I would like to cancel the order,

as I believed I had the right to do,

with consumers as I thought,

being allowed a cooling off period.

Needless to say, the salesman was none too pleased,

tried to persuade me to change my mind, eventually accepted my decision.

I asked about the £1000 deposit, and he said "he'd see what he could do, but the sales manager was "too angry to ask" at that point.

I never got the £1000 back (though admittedly, I'm not even sure I'm entitled to it).

Still with my car, I decided (after some probably ill informed research), to VT the car.

It was 4 months from the end of the contract,

I had been told that VT'ing prevents the consumer from being liable for excess mileage charges (which were apparently £8000 in total).

I went through the process, and the car was inspected thoroughly, with a £250 bill at the end of it.

I thought that was absolutely fine, and thought that was it, until I got a letter from BMW asking for the excess mileage charge.

I disputed it (informally), but they were adamant,

this is where I'd become a bit overwhelmed by the impact of the loss of income,

went into ostrich mode for a short time,

the consequence of which was Lester Aldridge Solicitors becoming involved.

To cut a very long story long, they wouldn't budge on this, and an interim charging order was placed on the family home.

I needed another car,

was back working,

managed to get one.

I was really happy with it,

set up the Direct Debit,

signed the forms,

drove the car home.

Despite my happiness,

I was probably using that to deflect from the suffocating effects of trying to sort out my debt,

and again, I must admit that my connection with "real life" was suffering somewhat at that time.

It transpired that my DD for what I can see as no reason whatsoever, wasn't honoured by my bank, I didn't realise, resulting in 3 missed payments.

Again, I m not trying to absolve myself of blame,

however I hadn't remembered receiving any letters about this.

I eventually did phone the finance company

(which turned out to be that same finance company that oversaw my previously,

i.e. the same finance company who were pursuing me for excess mileage charges),

I spoke to an incredibly condescending chap called "Andy".

I explained to Andy thread through needle my financial issues at that time,

also spoke about the distress it had and was causing me (which was really bloody hard to do).

I did have a little bit of money available, and made the offer of paying two of the three payments outstanding, and to pay the third outstanding payment within the following month (as in the following 4 weeks).

His reply was "nope, you've got to pay everything outstanding".

I persisted and again put forward my offer, and again recounted the previous 12 months and the difficulties I'd faced during that time,

again said "nope, you've got to pay the full amount outstanding by the end of the month (which was two weeks from the date of the phone call).

As I felt I wasn't going anywhere with this call, and as I was unaware of anything else I could do about this,

I said "I guess I'm going to see what I can do",

to which I received the response

"Ok, you've been talking to Andy, you have a nice day now, yeah".

My back was well and truly up.

Needless to say, at that time, I wasn't able to find that third payment,

two weeks after the "deadline" passed, my wife woke me up and said "someone's here to take the car-you better get up" (it was approximately 7am).

Completely bleary eyed and in my dressing gown,

a man was there with a recovery vehicle,

holding a sheet of paper, saying "I'm here to take your car".

I was floored yet again, and it took a moment for me to utter anything remotely coherent in the direction of this guy.

I said to him "is there any way I can avoid this? I need my car for work and I've already tried to negotiate a repayment of the outstanding payments".

He said "that's not up to me-you'd have to contact the finance company itself" (which I guess is fair enough".

Completely unaware of any rights I may/may not have,

I asked the recovery guy "do I have any choice in this?",

to which he replied "No",

"I said what do I have to do?"

and he said "you could give me the keys to the car".

I handed the car keys over and he pulled the car off my drive.

Humiliated doesn't even begin to cover it, nor devastated.

I had a 40 mile trip to work and a morning school run to try and factor in with no car.

We managed to work something out, which was at great financial expense (trains, taxi's etc..),

but eventually we managed to get a car

(in my wife's name, and bless her, I was probably as devastated at bringing this to her door, as anything else).

I immediately phoned the finance company,

explained what had happened,

I was met with a girl/lady who I think was called "Davina".

Now this person wasn't condescending,

she was rude,

in fact aggressive at points during the conversation,

at one point, although paraphrasing, essentially called me a liar when speaking about the circumstances leading up to the repossession.

I questioned the legality of the repossession man taking the car off my drive,

she said aggressively "YOU HANDED YOUR KEYS OVER-HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS".

I explained my financial circumstances and said I hadn't recalled any letters being received about missed payments,

she said "WE DON'T HAVE TO PROVE THAT YOU'VE RECEIVED IT-WE JUST HAVE TO PROVE THAT WE'VE SENT IT".

Now whether she's right or wrong about any of this,

her manner was absolutely disgraceful,

and this being at a time when I was in a very dark place

(which again, is very very hard for me to say).

The sum total of all of this, and again, so as not to be firing the burden of responsibility completely at the door of others,

I became the archetypal ostrich, and found it really hard to respond to anything,

several months later, I received a demand for £11k from Lester Aldridge Solicitors acting on behalf of the finance company.

This has resulted in a further Interim Charging Order on the house,

I do take responsibility for this,

due to me feeling completely frozen and overwhelmed by the whole situation,

and not really knowing where to turn.

I have a relatively good income again now,

I've managed to pull myself out of this hole (I've no idea how),

have gone through Stepchange and they have been really helpful,

with some structure and order to my debts,

along with no longer dreading the postman proving to be a huge stress reducer,.

The whole business with the car finance company however leaves me with some concerns, also a huge sense of injustice.

I VT'd my car because I genuinely couldn't continue to run it,

when I realised I was behind on my payments with the following car,

made what I thought was a reasonable offer of repayment

(I thought the finance company are obliged to listen to and consider the offer, along with negotiating repayment if they weren't happy with the offer?).

I'm sorry it's a long read

I hope people will be able to offer me some advice on this,

if there are any other questions raised,

I'd be happy to answer them.

Cheers.

that's BMW finance for you

never been any different.

you stupidly handed the keys over

when you had no need too

cant see there's anything you can do

bar look at reclaiming any stupid insurances PPI and FEES

get an sar off get all the paperwork on all agreements.

Yep, looks that was one of many stupid decisions made over the last couple of years.

Cheers for the response.