My 97 year-old mother has just been discharged from hospital (after a fall) to a care home. She now wishes to return to her own home which is unsanitary, unsafe, structurally unsound (part of the roof has collapsed) and is in a state of terrible neglect. She is in full command of her faculties. She is self-paying at the care home. I have a power of attorney but it is not activated (or whatever the legal term is).

If she returns home she will surely fall again or some other disaster will befall her.

She has begun to twist the arm of a family friend to take her home (against all her family's wishes).

Are there any legal means (or indeed non-legal, I don't mean illegal) means I can employ to prevent her return or at the very least delay her return?

Any advice on this matter will be much appreciated. I acknowledge that this is probably only a quasi-legal post.

If she is mentally competent she can discharge herself.

You can’t prevent her doing so, but don’t have to assist.

(So, you can’t lock her in a room, but you don’t have to provide the wheelchair to get her from the room to the car!)

Ask the “family friend” if they think they are taking her to a place where she is going to be safe?

2 potential approaches with her are to ask if you can change anything to make her more happy to remain at the care home, and to ask her if she would stay in the care home while you organise a “package of care” that will enable her to go home (& thus more likely to cope at home & be able to stay there!)

Hello Pizzas.

Bazza is the one with the legal knowledge on this, but I just wanted to say that I understand how you feel. My mother discharged herself from two care homes after different falls and there was nothing we could do to stop her at the time.

Could you talk to your mother's GP about your concerns? My mother discharged herself mainly because the amount of the fees freaked her out.

I don't know where you live, but my mother was in North Somerset who have a separate system for people who are self-funding and they allocated us a caseworker who at least monitored her for a little while. Our solution came when my mother eventually got a social worker.

The other people who helped me a lot were AgeUK. I spoke to the local office and they suggested who I could contact for help.

HB

Involving the GP and asking AgeUK for advice are 2 good suggestions, HB.

Both will have seen such before and will hopefully have realistic advice.

Involving the GP and asking AgeUK for advice are 2 good suggestions, HB.

Both will have seen such before and will hopefully have realistic advice.

In addition has anyone thought to take pictures of the houses condition and show them to the Mother, as well as this friend. Perhaps the Mother does not remember the condition of the house.

And what about the local authority team that deals with vulnerable elderly people. I know with an Aunt, the local council assisted, when it was found that she would wander down to her local high street which was only 2 minutes walk from her flat and she would forget her way home. They helped get her into a respite care home and arrange for a suitable permanent care home. The family helped with tbe arrangements and explained the situation to her.

She now wishes to return to her own home which is unsanitary, unsafe, structurally unsound (part of the roof has collapsed) and is in a state of terrible neglect.

Has the local council been notified of the state of disrepair ?

They may well deem the property unfit for human habitation and provide incentive for your mother to remain in the care home. The other alternative is to get her to move in with one of the family (if that is an option).

Something I would also suggest is speaking with:

1. The Care Home about your concerns and if an Occupational Therapy Assessment could be arranged to be carried out at the property.

2. The Local Council Social Work/Occupation Therapy Dept, as you would like to arrange an Occupational Therapy Assessment at the property due to your concerns mentioned.

Is she in a care home of her choice? If she was discharged from hospital into one it's unlikely to be the one she'd have chosen - it will just be one which had space at short notice. Have you visited others, suggested she visits others with you? As she's self funded it's completely her choice. There are huge differences between different care homes and she may just find one she likes. There will probably be a waiting list, there always is for the good ones, but if she knows she's going to move somewhere she's chosen it will buy you all some breathing space. Involving her in the process rather than trying to control her might get a better response.

Does she own the home that she wants to return to?