Son is 18, girlfriend aged 16 (15 at the time) moved in with us a year ago due to problems at home. Both have been financially dependant on us until 3 weeks ago when we said we cannot continue to support them, also thought it would be best to get him in the system so to speak in order to get him into the real world, and into work.

Girlfriend still in full time education and plans to stay on into further education.

Girlfriends mother has continued to claim child benefit, buying her the odd 'present' to justify herself.

Son explained situation at job centre interview, and made a joint claim with his girlfriend, was advised he, or I should claim the child benefit.

Letter received on 1st Feb, awarding £112 per week for both.

Payment today of £143, called to ask why that amount, and told he couldn't claim for girlfriend as her family are still in receipt of child benefit. Was also told, it has to be 'given up' by mother, cannot be taken away.

I have a couple of questions

If he can't claim for girlfriend, why does he get £7+ pw which is the over 25 award (tried asking to no avail)

Can a parent seriously not be forced to give up a benefit claimed for someone who doesn't even live with her! My feeling is mother claims WTC for girlfriend too, hence why reluctance to come clean! On paper GF is worth about £75 per week to her.

My husband claims working tax credits for him and I, if we could get the CB paid to us for girlfriend with or without mothers concent, would my husband be able to claim WTC for sons girlfriend.

As parents we accept it is their duty to take care of our own child until he finds his way in the world, but a year on and still supporting his girlfriend too, including running a car in order to get her to and from school each day, as it's not local to us.

GF mother not approachable.

We've done a year without asking for any help, but husband being the only earner and supporting all 4 of us on his own is just too much.

I don't work, and cannot unfortunately.

Views on this unusual situation would be greatly received.

Bottom line answer is that I don't know, but HMRC are usually very approachable. As a first step I would try phoning the child benefit people and seeing what they say.

Do the school know she lives with you and has she changed to a GP nearby for example? Anything like that could be used to prove she lives with you and has done for some time.

Yes school know. GP still the same, dentist has our address, as she didn't have one before.

I tried ringing CB but it's automated system only recognises certain phrases, such as I've has a baby, or my child is staying in full time education.

About 4 months ago, I filled in the ask a general question form on the CB site, but they never responded.

Maybe my only option is to write.

Thanks anyway

Answer to the child benefit question, yes unfortunately it has to be voluntarily given up. Parents have to go to court to force the court to issue an order for the non resident parent to give up the CB which is ridiculous imo.

One option is to (anonymously) report benefit fraud either online or by phone, stating that someone is fraudulently claiming benefits (and state which) for a child not living with them and state what you know. Some people would not feel that reporting the benefit fraud is justified, some would. Once the parent is no longer in receipt of the benefits, another adult with care can then place a claim.

I'm astonished that parents have to be forced to give CB up. Given that mother is still claiming has come to just come to light, it would be assumed that the DWP have alerted CB, not me, so it is worth considering letting someone know. I wouldn't ordinarily get involved with other peoples business, but this does affect me, also seems unfair on GF having to ask for money to buy personal items.

Maybe I could suggest that GF contacts CB and asks if she could claim it herself.

Would anyone know if GF or indeed my son could claim income support for her, or again could she claim in her own right, it does say you may be able to if you're not living at home and are in full time education.

Thanks for reply

I think this case is so far outside the usual scenarios that you need some expert benefit help. Does your local council have a welfare advisor, or even the girls' school? You could always try CAB too though you might have to wait a while to get an appointment.

If you can't get any advice and no one on here can help, you could always try making an appointment for her at the jobcentre and see what they say.

I'm very reluctant to say this as I don't for one second think there is or has been anything untoward going on but I think it needs to be mentioned that as the girl was under 16 when she moved in it is vaguely possible that either the mother or someone else could start asking awkward questions. Be careful.

Oh don't worry it's all been said before, and I willed social services to pay us a visit, there was even talk from the school that they may do, but nothing happened! We were even prepared for a police visit, believe me they would have been more interested in what we had to say, than the family! So that's not a concern to us at.

Our only concern is GF being able to stay with us, but support herself until my son can get a job to support them both, ideally an apprenticeship would be best for him, but not sure that's going to be possible with 2 of them to support, GF is very clever, and we don't want her to be forced into work so young when she has the potential to be successful in her chosen career.

Appreciate your concerns though

Apparently the mother, and I use that term loosely, is calling CB today to cancel her entitlement.

Thanks for the replies