Hi All,

Basically its like this. I work at a military establishment with a woman who is starting to drive me nuts, basically. She has obsessive compulsive disorder - don't get me wrong, I fully respect she has the condition but she's making my working life that much more unbearable.

She's even confiding in a work colleague that she went to see a psychologist because she said that I stress her out at work and to hear that second hand from a work colleague was not too pleasant to be honest.

I have had a problem with pen chewing and putting things in my mouth, chewing my nails etc. as far back as I can remember and there seems to be no signs of it letting up - despite my best efforts, I find myself relapsing and every now and again, which has become a bit more occasional of late, find a pen or something else in my mouth, be it my fingers for biting my nails or whatever.

However whenever I have been at a workstation using the keyboard or been somewhere else and this is usually some while after I have bitten my nails, for example, then she is there cleaning the desk area and I am made to feel like a dirty person - don't get me wrong - I fully respect her condition but I'm being made to feel that I can't even put my hands near my mouth or pick up a pen in fear she's going to put in a complaint and I think that I am going to be on the receiving end of something unpleasant and the fact that she has a mental illness will work against me.

Furthermore, she is rather cold toward me in the office and I feel the tensity in the office is going to reach a peak before long.

We have been open and honest about our feelings in the office as well. I can't help what I do at the end of the day and as I explained, since I've been a nipper, its been a recurring problem for me.

Can someone offer me some advice as to what the best solution is as I will not take kindly to an official complaint from my supervisor as I feel I've done little wrong and am trying hard to work on a problem I've had difficulty in resolving in the past.

Regards

Ask your supervisor if it is possible to have some form of mediation - some sessions to help you and this other person to negotiate some ways of working together. It's true you can't help what you do - neither can she. You are both trying to resolve problems that you have no doubt struggled with for a long time. So there's a common starting point...

If you are a MOD civil servant you can contact the MOD Occupational Welfare Service, who will be able to advise you and/or arrange mediation.

Hi,

I recently posted a thread on this message board about 'OCD' and problems with a co-worker I had. Well, things have occurred since then and I wanted opinions from yourselves.

Basically, myself and my colleague spoke to our OCD worker today and it also got to the point where our Line Manager become involved.

We aired our views and furthermore, I suffer from a bad habit where I chew pens and bite my nails and my coworker who suffers with OCD problems sees it as their nature to clean up after myself or anywhere where she thinks there might be germs.

Our Line Manager has said we should be be respectful of a colleague who has OCD related illness and it felt like to me that it didn't matter what rights I, who has a personal issue when it comes to putting things in my mouth and my colleague, who also finds the situation irritating with the OCD coworker, have.

Surely this is not correct because everytime we go into work now, it will feel we're walking on eggshells so that we can satisfy our coworker that we're doing our utmost to ensure she doesn't feel the need to freak out about germs, despite the fact one of us finds the situation overwhelming at times and myself, who has their own problems with putting things in their mouth which is a trigger for their OCD.

Do our feelings count for nothing? What do you suggest because it felt very much like 'put up and shut up' to me.

Regards

Rob

Moderator - can you please merge these threads???

OP - it helps if you stick to one thread - you get better advice that way!

You need to get some mediation here - as suggested before.OCD is a recognised disability - chewing your nails or your pens isn't. I am not disregarding what is obviously a very difficult situation for you all, but it has no "legal" bearing and you have no "rights" here. Put very basically - you have no right to chew your pen! It needs someone skilled at mediatin to work this through - but you re all going to have to compromise.

Threads merged

Che

If you are a MOD civil servant you can contact the MOD Occupational Welfare Service, who will be able to advise you and/or arrange mediation.

Robinsky - I know how difficult it can be when colleagues do not get on - mediation may be the answer - can one person move even just to a different desk, a different shift?

I dunno if the MOD welfare service are any good or not - I'm far from a military man - but if they can arrange mediation then SP (and SarEl) may have given you (possibly) your best option???

Che

Just for clarification, MOD Occupational Welfare Service is for MOD civil servants rather than military personnel. In my experience (having referred people to them), they are usually helpful and professional. They will give advice in confidence if requested.

Hello,

I have a query about a situation at work which is rather concerning me at the moment...

Basically I work as an administrator in an office environment, MOD based, and am an E2 Civil Servant. I administer with two other colleagues over 700 files.

However what concerns me greatly is that several files have gone missing.

I shall list the examples of what bothers me below:

1) Files I send out to people for review are not returned by the person supposed to be reviewing them.

2) Whenever I ask people to check their file structures to assist me, I get no help.

3) People are doing unauthorized tasks with the files eg. merging them together and giving them new numbers or file titles.

Also when files are destroyed, paperwork is supposed to be sent to the office to show the file in question has been destroyed. This paperwork is supposed to be kept for several years before being wiped out. However there are files for which I never received paperwork. Out of the majority of files, this applies to about 6 or 7 files.

For files I have sent out to individuals myself for review, I never get them back despite putting a trace on the paperwork and some of the files go back a long time and its not just 1 or 2, it can be a huge amount of files.

Sections do not keep me in the loop with their file structures. Therefore I am concerned that the files are going to go wrong and I feel responsible, even though I know I am not to blame for these misdemeanours.

Now the section police are involved. I do not want to be blamed for anything that is not my fault.

All I can do is ask sections to submit statements to show what has happened to these files and I have no paperwork to show what has become of these files and its going to wind up in a big mess.

How can you summon up enthusiasm when you are being treated so badly by other individuals? I'm that close just to getting incredibly stressed out and I just have no enthusiasm at the moment because I have suffered badly at the hands of other individuals who don't care and I want to do a good job.

To say I'm bitterly disappointed is an understatement. Thoughts?

Hello Robinsky. I'm not being funny, but you've only made 3 posts to date and they've all been on different threads. I don't know if this issue should be merged with your other merged thread, but it may help the people trying to help you to know that you have related posts.

My best, HB

Oh OK apologies for that. I shall remember for future.

This is going to sound a little harsh, but it is meant with the best of intentions. You seem to have a lot of problems with other people and don't want to be blamed for whatever the problem is. But who is blaming you for these things? And why do you think they are?

If you have done your job, and taken all the correct steps to secure the files properly, then you have nothing to worry about. If you have had some difficulty with a colleague, but haven't done anything wrong, then you have nothing to worry about. You are obviously very worried, and feel very insecure aboout a number of things at work - but I am struggling to understand why this is the case. Is there something that you haven't told us?

This is going to sound a little harsh, but it is meant with the best of intentions. You seem to have a lot of problems with other people and don't want to be blamed for whatever the problem is. But who is blaming you for these things? And why do you think they are?

 

If you have done your job, and taken all the correct steps to secure the files properly, then you have nothing to worry about. If you have had some difficulty with a colleague, but haven't done anything wrong, then you have nothing to worry about. You are obviously very worried, and feel very insecure aboout a number of things at work - but I am struggling to understand why this is the case. Is there something that you haven't told us?

I'm not perfect at my job and I have made mistakes where the files are but I have spoken to an old supervisor of mine and he stated explicitly that it is section responsibility to inform you of changes to their files which they have not done. My concern is that the file structure is going to wind up in a bad way. Now the military police are involved and I am just worried that I could be blamed for something that is not my fault. You're right, there are problems at work but I've never really had the rub of my green in my job anyways because people don't know what they're doing and that's why things go wrong but I've done my best to help these people. I can't do anymore at the end of the day.

I did not think you were harsh and I understand where you are coming from and thank you for your words. They are appreciated. I am considering looking for a new job as I feel that I have been badly let down in my current job by a system that just does not work. What's the point in trying to keep to a system if people are going to abuse it, intentionally or not? Just seems like a waste and it reflects badly on individuals who are trying their utmost to do a good job... just very harsh but one of the facts of life, I guess. Files have been a problem in my job for goodness knows how long anyway and with my work colleague who suffers from OCD, I believe we can move forward but it will be a gradual process. Its not just the OCD that causes the problems between us. There are other things my supervisor does which I feel are very detrimental to the office culture.

Anyways, I am determined to go on and whatever happens, happens, but at least I can know in the deepest realms of my own heart and mind that I have done my utmost best.

It does rather sound like your decision to look for another job is sensible. It's obvious that there are multiple areas of concern for you in regard to this job, and it's probably realistic to assume that even if some parts get resolved, there isn't going to be a big enough change overall to make you happy in the job. It's best to be able to recognise that and be prepared to move on, and you obviously have.

Hello,

I am afraid I am one of those people whom has made an error where an ID card is involved - Basically, a Warrant Officer came into our office, who had rung earlier in the day, requesting his parcel. I asked him for his ID and he said he hadn't got it. At this point I felt intimidated and he identified the package through the company who had sent the package to him. I saw this as acceptable in the absence of his ID Card and after he had left, was strongly berated by my colleagues for not asking for his ID Card. I was given the sixth degree. I wasn't happy about this and have been panicking. I appreciate I have made a mistake in this case but am fully conscious about the fact that the error needs to be corrected. Can anyone offer me any suggestions about what to do to cover myself? Should I go to the squadron and just talk about what happened the day before to confirm he says he is who he is and has the parcel or ring him to confirm that he got his parcel and is whom he said he was the day he came in to get his parcel or send him an email to confirm his identity? The point of the matter is I did ask for his ID but he did not have it but he identified the package from the company whom dispatched it to him and I felt this was good enough but I was told by my colleagues that it wasn't. Please offer me some advice as I want to cover myself as this is the first time this has happened and I have always followed procedures before. I would have thought if he identified it through the company whom sent it, that would have been good enough? I was thinking of sending an email to confirm his ID and the fact he got his package safe and sound, despite the fact he received it today.

Regards

Robin

Hi Robin,

Are there procedures in place to deal with people collecting parcels from your office? Have you received training to this effect?

Hello - Yes the procedures are that we ask for ID and if they don't have their ID, they are requested to collect it. On this occasion, though, he identified his parcel through the address of the company that sent it and also through the contents of the package and I accepted this as proof that he was who he said he was and allowed him to take the package. In any other circumstance, I would have asked for his ID Card.

However I don't want to get told off for something I considered to be a genuine thing I did to identify himself and the package. I have done some further reading and it says if you have made a mistake then to consult your management and tell them, not to hide anything. I have no intention of hiding anything and am quite eager to even to go as far as to go to the squadron to get the parcel, if necessary. The only other thing I can do is give him a call or send an email to confirm that he said he was who he was and that he got his parcel.

I like your determination, Robin, and your first port of call should be your manager in this instance. You made a genuine mistake by allowing that person to collect a parcel without ID. Do not contact that person or attempt to collect the parcel from him. Just go and talk to your manager about it.

Thanks for the advice - as I explained, this is the first time its happened and of course as we all know there's a first time for everything. The only mistake I made was deeming that the identification of the sender and his knowledge of the content of the package was acceptable.

Another thing... should I say something about the way my staff berated me quite strongly as I felt intimidated and ripped apart by their tirade in the office when it happened.

Thanks Again.

Robin

No, I think they might have been frustrated by your action more than it being a tirade... Leave it on the side, and if it resurfaces in the future, you may want to put a word about it. Until then, just have a chat with that manager.

Thanks - I just didn't want it to turn into a situation where my job came under scrutiny as I would consider that grossly unfair since I had asked for his ID and he hadn't got it yet identified the package through other means and as I explained, I deemed this acceptable since his knowledge of the sender and the address details on the package tallied. Anyways, I am going to email my Line Manager in the morning and hope for the best. Thanks for the advice.

Let us know how you getting on with this incident, Robin.

Hi, I've got indeniable proof now that the person who picked up the parcel, was whom he said he was. I know it might not have been the most proficient way to do things but I wanted to try and clean up my own mess without having to inform Line Management. As I explained, as the guy didn't have his ID Card and identified it through other means, I assumed this would have been sufficient. However I've got the proof required so if it becomes an issue now, I'll take the matter further since I am aware that I went against policy but used my initiative to ensure that in the end, policy was restored. Thanks for your help and advice. RegardsRobin

I think if management find out what you did you'll still be in bother, even though seemingly no harm was done.

Put it down to experience. Be a jobsworth in future. I get the impression that you maybe work for the RAF? Probably quite big on people doing as they're told, and security procedures being rigourously followed.

No ID ? No Package!

HiI appreciate what you're saying Rachel - yes I work for the RAF who are hot on rules and regulations at the end of the day but it was, as explained, a genuine error of judgment, not a deliberate attempt to break procedure - I feel I have done the right thing by following up on my error because if anyone makes an error, that's what most people would do. My supervisor did tell me she informed management of this which I guess I expected. Still, I haven't heard anything from management yet about it but I am sure I will and I will explain to them that I got the ID for the package from the fact that the person in question was able to identify the package from the sender's address and its item content and I felt that this was sufficient enough to prove that the person I was serving was genuine. However, once my colleagues told me this was unacceptable, I went on a one-man mission to resolve the issue personally to ensure that despite the fact security had been potentially breached, I ensured the item was located and therefore, no real harm was done, just an error of judgment on something I thought would be deemed acceptable that wasn't. However as said, its a learning curve and from now on, I'll ask for ID in future. My supervisor does it on a regular basis to forget to ask for ID and nothing serious happened to her so I can imagine a slapped wrist and ticking off would be the order of the day in this situation. There are so many things going on in my job right now that I'm even considering just chucking it in altogether. RegardsRobin