omg what have i done.....

i have worked with a company for 15 years and was very happy in my job role, but ive been a naughty girl and was caught.....stealing.

i know what you must all be thinking and im thinking the same too, why have i done it and i just dont have a answer for it. all i know is i deeply regret it and if i could turn back the clock i wouldnt do it again.

i have a disaplinary meeting on monday and i am so nervous, i have never been in trouble before and at work people look at me as one of the trust worthy ones. i just tried it and and then i got complacent.

i have got a union rep attending with me as i will be a nevous bag of bones. i have done nothing but worry about this for the past two weeks as i was suspended on full pay till the investigation was finished.

the union rep thinks the same as me that it will probably go to dismissal due to gross misconduct but i want to fight for my job. i need my job. without my job i will be in more trouble financially as i have a mortgage and loan to pay and three dependant children.

my parents have gone completly mad with me and so has my partner.i have been brought up to know the right from wrong and i just dont know why i did it in the first place.

if it does come to a dismissal which is very likely does any one know how i could try change the management to change the reason going down on my records from gross misconduct to something else because that will let me down with future employers. and also today i read the terms of my loan and i took it out with payment protection but in the small print it doesnt cover gross misconduct agrhhhhhh

i know ive done wrong and i have told them i will pay back every penny but i cant do that with out being employed.

my other half is trying to keep me focused but it has put alot of tension on us both.

i feel so ashamed and embarrassed too so please dont judge me, we are all human at the end of the day and we all make mistakes. i did hold my hands up to it to when they took me in the office first so hopefully that should go in my favour...wouldnt it?

my file is completly clean, no telling offs,my attendance is brilliant too. why oh why oh why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

any advice welcomed

this is my fist post tooo so please be gentle.

thanks everyone

Hello

Oh dear, what a situation.

But one thing, you have asked us not to judge. I think that would be difficult not to do, after all, it is what is likely to happen on Monday is it not?

Do you want an honest opinion on your plight?

hi yeah i would like your opinion please.

i guess your right ppl will judge me but im only human at the end of the day and truly regret it.

im such a shy person too so not sure how i will hold out in the meeting.

any advice welcome

Hi Magic, I really can't see anyway around your situation. You say in your post that you tried it then became complacent, did you steal on more than one occasion?. I truely can't see you keeping your job, but as to whether your employer discloses gross misconduct to future employers, is something your union rep would need to find out.

I know employers can't give a bad reference, but they can refuse one or if asked would they re-employ you they can say no.

hi bingowings thanks for your reply

i did it twice, i have said i will pay it back and up till this i have been a loyal member of staff. i just wish that little voice in my head had said dont do it instead of try it......

i will post back when i know the outcome.

thanks again

Ok, well theft is not just gross misconduct but it is also, obviously, criminal.

However, a couple of things are quite odd.

Firstly, you admitted the transgression yet you were suspended on full pay and invited to a disciplinary hearing.

Now I see no reason why you were not dismissed on the spot and the police called.

Why is this? Because you worked there for 15 years? With an excellent previous record?

I guess your employers are as disappointed as you are and want to know what has gone on with you to behave like this. It is quite obvious you are full of remorse.

Now, I need to know what your job is, your position in the business, how you would rate your relationship with your employers and what the thefts are.

You need to answer these, ok?

yes i did admit to it right from the beginning and yes i have been suspended on full pay till the investigation is complete.

im praying the police dont get called, ive just been so stupid and was caught. i am paying the price for it now believe me.

my relationship with my employers was ok, no problems with the staff or the senior management.

i am mentally stressing out with all this, but only got myself to blame.

Ok, now what is the nature of your job?

And what were the thefts?

I need to know. If you want then tell me by pm.

There is always a chance however hopless it seems.

Ok?

I didn't mean to sound negative magic, but your situ happened to my friend. Her son owed money to drug dealers who came to her door threatening them. She was caught putting the money back. She wasn't thinking straight at the time. As weird al says there's always a chance, you could have been dismissed on the spot but you weren't, which means that your company are considering everything before making a decision. I hope things work out for you.

Hi Magic,

Just a thought. Because of your previous good record and the theft is totally out of character, you could try and show that you were under great stress at home etc, ask them to take this into consideration and not dismiss you. Ask them for their support and if all else fails ask that they accept your resignation instead of dismissing you because of your good record.

I know it looks all bad to you but only last week I kept someone his job on these same grounds, Companies don’t like to loose good workers if it can be helped, so it’s always worth a try.

However I will be honest with you, the chances of you keeping your job are slim; but the chances of resigning instead are 50/50.

Good luck Magic, don’t cut yourself up over this, your family are there for you and you will get over this troublesome time.

The chances of resigning are 100%, it's up to her. She could do this at 9am Monday.

However, let's hope she logs back on before Monday.

My hubby's a senior manager, got him to read this post. He's in total agreement weird al. Magic could meet his/ her union rep and get them to accept a letter of resignation. That way they won't have to face the hearing and final outcome, which is only adding to her dilema. She could leave with her good record still intact.

My hubby's a senior manager, got him to read this post. He's in total agreement weird al. Magic could meet his/ her union rep and get them to accept a letter of resignation. That way they won't have to face the hearing and final outcome, which is only adding to her dilema. She could leave with her good record still intact.

Yes bingowings, I dearly hope the OP posts back so we can try to help her.

hi to all you wonderful people who are trying to give me some good support. my head is such a mess as the time gets closer to the dreaded meeting. i keep going over and over things in my head on what to say on the morning but im just stressing myself out.

i know the best thing to do is just resign but i want to fight for my job, ive made one mistake in 15 years service and i dont want to leave. i have to give this my best shot as i have more to lose if i lose my job.

one thing that is going to go against me is the women dong the meeting is our new manager and only worked with us for the past 4 weeks so she wont know anything about me really.

im a shy person who gets really nervous but i have to try and be strong.

so do you guys think they will take into account my clear record etc and also see that it was out of character for me?

i am also willing to change depts or even a store transfere but i want to stay there with my friends (who by the way dont know what ive done)

and prove to them that i can be trusted again. it might take some time but i'm willing to give it ago. and besides how many people admit to what they have done and say they will pay it back?????

my kids have now picked up on mummy not being happy grrrrrr

one last thing too if i resign and i dont fall into another job straight away i cant claim benefts for 26 weeks...is this right? or if im sacked i could claim some benefit till im back into work does anyone know if this is right.

naturally i want to stay employed but if im not given the chance with current employer i have to think of my kids and home.

so feel free to comment on my post.

thanks guys

 

one last thing too if i resign and i dont fall into another job straight away i cant claim benefts for 26 weeks...is this right? or if im sacked i could claim some benefit till im back into work does anyone know if this is right.

 

Hi magic28, I can only comment on the above quote but if your children are aged 16 or below (18 if in further education) then if you are their sole provider then you will have an underlying right to income support. This means the 26 week sanction does not apply. However if they are all over the age then its JSA and a 26 week sanction.

Hope this helps

they will almost certainly dismiss otherwise they will have to treat everyone else who steals in the same way.

BTW they can refuse your resignation and can dismiss you in your absence. They can also give you a bad reference as long as such reference is factual.

thanks pi guy

my plan isnt to resign i want to fight for my job, that way i know ive tried my best. i know theft is serious but at the time i didnt think. we all human and throughout life we will all make at least one mistake or maybe more.

My advice would be to put forward any mitigating factors that lead you to steal in the first place and hope for the best. Good luck with it.

Magic write down everything that you want to say on monday, and take it with you. If you are asked something you can refer to your notes. Your head must be buzzing, but you need to clear it of all negative thoughts. As PI says were there any mitigating factors which triggered it off. If there were then write them down, and also the fact that you'd been a loyal and trustworthy member of staff untill the incident.

hi there bingowings

does your hubby know what exactly happens in a dispalinary meeting,like who will be in there other than myself and my union rep, im not that clear.

ive had 2 weeks to think why i did this and i cant come up with a answer as to why i took the steps and did it.

my head is defo messed up.

thanks again

I will tell you what happens.

You will be called into a meeting. There will be at least 2 people there, one will take notes.

The person conducting the meeting will run through the evidence against you. You will be given a chance to say whatever you want to. Your rep will not have a chance to speak unless there is a clear breach of rules in how they are treating you. You can take notes. You will be asked to sign their notes at the end. The person conducting the hearing should not be the same person who conducted the investigation.

At the end they will adjourn to consider their decision. The will then come back in to tell you their decision.

Hi,hubby says that each company have their own policies and proceedures, so some may differ to others.

Have you received written notification of your suspension and the reason why?

Have you received notification inviting you to attend meeting on monday?

have you been given copy of company policies with regards to disaplinarys?

Normally although may differ to each company a member of HR or senior member of staff along with the person conducting the meeting will attend excluding you and your rep.

Most interviews or meetings can be audio taped, to be seen as equally fair to all attending. If not the minutes of meeting will be taken. if this is the case you can request a copy before leaving meeting.

Sorry forgot to mention if your manager instigated the investigation they wont hold the meeting on monday

they will almost certainly dismiss otherwise they will have to treat everyone else who steals in the same way.

 

How do you know this? Do you know who the OP's employers are and how they operate?

 

 

BTW they can refuse your resignation and can dismiss you in your absence.

 

Huh?

 

So long as the employee makes certain they wish to resign, such as writing a formal letter, and working their notice, then just how would/could an employer refuse this?

 

It is a job not prison.

 

And no reason needs to be given in any case, what if the employee wants to resign through an illness they don't wish to discuss?

Are you telling us the employer can force them to work?!

 

 

They can also give you a bad reference as long as such reference is factual.

 

And the alleged thefts are not factual. And if they remain unresolved then how would a previous 15 year unblemished service result in a bad reference?

 

 

Please, we are trying our best for the OP and not scaremongering.

thanks pi guy

 

my plan isnt to resign i want to fight for my job, that way i know ive tried my best. i know theft is serious but at the time i didnt think. we all human and throughout life we will all make at least one mistake or maybe more.

Right, now we know what you want to do and that's good.

You really need to tell us what those two items you stole were and the nature of your job.

We have to build up the picture of what trust you were under. Would the employer think you have admitted to two thefts but could have stole many times over the years.

This is important to try and mitigate for you, ok?