Thanks, ScarletP. I'll check those out. I have little family support, apart from my OH, but I've always been an optimistic person so even though I'm in a pretty crappy place in my head at the moment, I do keep hoping I'll recover.

Ericsbrother - I was just going to ring their helpline and see what they say. Unlike my managers, who frankly have quite shameful behaviour ("I won't name the person who writes a note and slips it under my door naming those encouraging unofficial overtime/refusing to work with incorrect equipment/refuses to work through breaks" or whatever it is the managers have a bugbear about on any particular day - just a teeny example), you seem like a decent human being. However, I don't really think getting HSE involved at this point will be helpful to anyone. The tools were replaced the following day, the company has admitted liability. I'd have been sacked for refusing to do the job tools or not anyway. At least I've managed to keep my job a little longer and been a still-living example to others that may have found themselves in the same position (hopefully, managers won't be so quick to ask someone to do that job without tools in future, though). Asking me to say I was working from home was apparently to just keep their internal figures looking good so calling HSE in now is a bit like shutting the door after the horse has gone. I'm pretty sure the managers have already covered their backsides with a great excuse should I have decided to report. King - you're right as I have been shunted from pillar to post seeing psychiatrists who can't wait to take me off the meds the previous three had me on and put me on the newest flavour of the week drug. reading the reports of two I've seen, I honestly think they've sent the wrong one out! They seem to have mixed me up with other patients they must have seen on the same day or something. Unbelievable. Still, some have worked better than others and the way I'm feeling I'll try anything. ScarletP - thanks for understanding the long haul and difficult bit and that one size definitely does not fit all whe it comes to treatments. It's a shame you couldn't have trained most of the people I've seen. As I've gone and am going through different stages, I'm realising that medication is just the tip of the iceberg and that long haul really is a very long haul with multiple setbacks and days where if I manage to get out of bed, I don't really want to be here. If it wasn't for my partner I probably wouldn't be. We both just want to be able to start living again. With help from the right people I'm sure I'll get better, though if you'd asked me last week (and probably again in another few weeks), I wouldn't be so sure. I never thought I'd be like this - it's been a nightmare. Thanks for letting me vent and giving me help.

Thanks King. I'll contact the union tomorrow and see if they can help. I didn't want to rock the boat by reporting them about H&S breach as after my accident, tools and safety equipment arrived the very next day so I'm pretty confident that others won't be in this position. Nothing I can do about the management who made me do the job without equipment despite me asking 2 different managers and an engineer - they'll never change. It's a "them and us" attitude sadly. I've found a psychologist and PTSD expert that I've been assessed with and am comfortable with through the case. It's just a matter for insurance now to see if they'll pay for me to see them when the case is over. I've seen a few NHS counsellors, both of whom tried to get me to "talk to the wall" which was just off-putting and too Shirley Valentine for me. I came away from those appointments feeling worse than went I went in so won't go back. I'm happy with meds for the moment as I need all the help I can get to get me through the case, applying for benefits and to fight for my job right now. If pills get me a better night sleep than the few hours I'm currently getting with the bloody awful nightmares, I need to take them. I understand they're not a life solution, but as a temporary crutch I'm happy. I'll push the union about getting my job changed to a different part of the plant or at least a year without pay with my job kept open. I need to recover without pushing myself to go back like I have been and then making myself worse in the process. Thank you.

Thanks, both. H&S weren't involved. They asked me to say I was "working from home" while I was off recovering so they didn't have to report it. They told me to do a job without the right equipment and when I asked for equipment I was told I didn't need it and they'd take responsibilty - which they've admitted to the insurance company. I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to that job, but I don't want to lose my job there and the place is big enough I'm pretty sure they could move me if they wanted to. Trouble is, I don't think I'm ready to go back. Saw psychiatrist earlier who told me changing meds to help me sleep and lift my depression is going to take the best part of a year to get right. The psychologist I've seen and made headway with treatment is expensive so I'm hoping the compensation will cover his sessions. I'm comfortable with her and have trust in her. I'm living off my partner at the moment as my pay has stopped and trying to get benefits is taking me a lot longer than expected,but he's okay with it for a bit (though things have been rocky while I've not been myself). I will get a settlement within a few months though if they sack me, it'll only last me a few years at the most. I'm gutted as it was one of the best paid jobs for someone like me who's basically uneducated apart from apprenticeship. I'm too young to retire and my pension will suffer as I haven't built up a huge pot due to not having worked there long (9 years). Where I worked before didn't have a pension plus I'd taken a bit of time off for kids. I'm never going to find a job like this again unless I move hundreds of miles away. I just wish they'd keep a place open for my until I'm recovered - this might take a year or two as every time I've tried going back so far it's made me worse (though I think a move to a different area would be much easier for me but no one's suggested it). I'm exhausted now! Thanks for the help.

Thanks, King12345. I'm already seeing a counsellor plus I have a CPN. These have only been seen very recently, though. I'm hoping the work insurance is going to pay for more counselling and EMDR(?) with a counsellor who works with ex forces. Will the union be able to help me keep my job (but in a different area) do you think? They're already paying for a solicitor to pursue my injury claim. My rep didn't seem to know much but is fairly new and covering a sick colleague.

Honeybee13 - yes, work-related. They've admitted liability and I've made a claim against them which is ongoing.

Thanks, both, for the replies. Apologies for the delay, I got my password wrong and was locked out. CPN and psychologist both say it's going to take a lot of medication and possibly 2-3 years to get me fit enough to go back. My accident was 4 years ago. I struggled to stay in work for the first 3 years, but it was making me ill. Now I'm told I should have had help from the start but it's taken 2 years to be seen. I'm rural, not a lot of support here, travel 80 miles round for work. It's not the kid of job I could do at home. I'm on the waiting list for something called EDMR/EMDR? but it's a long wait. My accident wasn't too severe - a few broken bones - but the circumstances were terrifying. I think that's why I've reacted so badly mentally. I keep having flashbacks that can be triggered by the smallest sudden noises and nightmares where I'm in some kind of warped version of the accident, where I'm left to die. Every night from a few months after the accident. I can't get over how my mind is reacting like this. Some medication has helped a bit but then I'm told I'm on the highest does and it wears off, some has made me worse. They tried me on reduced hours but it was close to where the accident was and it was making me worse. The place is big enough I could get a job working elsewhere but it's not been suggested. Just writing this has left me exhausted and has given me a flashback that's felt like a punch in the guts. I won't be on til later this evening, but will appreciate any help.

Hi all. Long story short - I had an accident at work, they admitted liability. I have been off on long term sick with PTSD and now called in for interview by HR. They want me to finish due to long absence. OH doctor has put on one report that the disabilty act may apply to my case. I've made a claim via my union which is ongoing. I really don't want to lose my job, but I'm not well enough to go back. I'm trying to claim sick benefits but it's very hard going and haven't received anything yet. SSP and pay have now finished so I'm starting to panic. I've finally been seen by a CPN this last month who is putting a care plan together for me. It is a large organisation so I'm not being missed as such. I accept they can no longer pay me but can they dismiss me? I'm concerned as it's a great job plus now, with my sick record and mental health problem I'm never going to find a good job again. Can anyone help please?