17 year old son needs help

cidergirl · 29th July 2008, 22:07

my 17 year old son who was statemented at school for specific learning difficulties and behaviour problems at school at age 11 . he was always being sent home from school and excluded every time the school was no help at all. anyway i thought he had adhd but didnt know how to go about getting diagnosed and didnt realise that i should apply for disability living allowance. anyway the doctor sent him to see a specialist who has diagnosed adhd and autistic spectrum disorder now and wants to start him on ritalin . hes on a e to e at college but thye only let him do a few hours as his behaviour isnt good and he keeps forgetting what hes learned and they are going to give him one more chance but really they dont want him there and will look for any excuse i feel that hes been totally let down by the system and if he cant go to college i dont know what he can do hes tried a job but after a few days they make excuses on getting rid of him. the connexions want him asseses by the job cetre as they are not sure of his diagnosisits making me ill with worry im in despair

PriorityOne · 29th July 2008, 22:17

If I were you, I'd do some serious research before putting him on Ritalin....

Ritalin has become the cop-out drug of the 21st century and is often given to kids when "experts" don't really know what else to do or say, IMO.

cidergirl · 29th July 2008, 22:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by PriorityOne

If I were you, I'd do some serious research before putting him on Ritalin....

Ritalin has become the cop-out drug of the 21st century and is often given to kids when "experts" don't really know what else to do or say, IMO.

i want to try it to see if it helps though he smokes cannabis at the moment that i dont like though

PriorityOne · 29th July 2008, 22:30

Ritalin is amphetamine-based and interferes with dopamine and nor-adrenaline in the brain.... which are linked to schizophrenia.... as is cannabis. If he's smoking cannabis, then you really, really should not be giving him Ritalin anyway, IMO.

How does he get the cannabis, if you don't mind me asking ?

cidergirl · 29th July 2008, 22:33

so called mates give it to him as he hasnt any money to buy it . hes so easily led i try to keep him in all i can but its not easy when u have 5 kids to look after as well

PriorityOne · 29th July 2008, 22:45

It's difficult to monitor what a 17-year-old does... but cannabis isn't going to help him long-term. It is linked to schizophrenia, as said earlier and despite many claims that it's not addictive, I've come across addicts in my time... all of whom had associated conditions; manic depression and/or schizophrenia.

Ritalin is given out to kids like sweets these days in order to make behaviour more acceptable within a classroom setting in a lot of cases. If you (or anyone else) go(es) into a GPs surgery wanting a diagnosis, then you'll get one eventually if you go in there with a list of symptomatic behaviours. ADHD is only labelling a social disorder though and is habitually diagnosed on the basis of social information, ie, behaviour... but is treated like a medical condition, ie, with prescribed drug therapy....

The long term effects of this are not yet known.... and too many parents are kept in the dark about it, IMO.

cidergirl · 29th July 2008, 22:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by PriorityOne

It's difficult to monitor what a 17-year-old does... but cannabis isn't going to help him long-term. It is linked to schizophrenia, as said earlier and despite many claims that it's not addictive, I've come across addicts in my time... all of whom had associated conditions; manic depression and/or schizophrenia.

Ritalin is given out to kids like sweets these days in order to make behaviour more acceptable within a classroom setting in a lot of cases. If you (or anyone else) go(es) into a GPs surgery wanting a diagnosis, then you'll get one eventually if you go in there with a list of symtomatic behaviours. ADHD is only labelling a social disorder though and is habitually diagnosed on the basis of social information, ie, behaviour... but is treated like a medical condition, ie, with prescribed drug therapy....

The long term effects of this are not yet known.... and too many parents are kept in the dark about it, IMO.

i am worried about this too as they are linking ritalin to heart attacks in teenagers but i need him to settle down and do something with his life if he can im sure if had had the help earlier he might not of got like this now and i might of got some help with him too

PriorityOne · 29th July 2008, 23:01

Ok.... Ritalin has nothing to do with an autistic spectrum disorder. If he's being/been diagnosed for this, then it's worth asking for some clarification on how far he is on the autistic spectrum.

Are you aware of any strategies that his school used for helping him stay on task ? If he was statemented, then he would/should have had support from a Teacher's Assistant or LSA. As far as I know, this would stop when he went to college, which may be part of his problem now if he was used to having that support from another person.

It may be a good idea to make an appt. at the college where he is now and discuss what your own concerns are and the kind of support that your son had in his previous school. Are they even aware that he had a Statement there ? Please don't assume that the school passes this information on... because it's not always the case at all.

Have you put in a claim for DLA ? If not, then do so... although the money will go to him directly once he reaches 18 (may even be 16, need to check that one). The form is a nightmare, but there are people at CAB that will help you to complete it in the way that the DLA people like, so to speak.

cidergirl · 29th July 2008, 23:08

yes he had one to one which he didnt like and refused at times i have took his statement to the college but they say the funding isnt available and they are restricted . yes we applied for dla and was awarded it in june this year and they awarded him middle rate care and it is paid to him but i dont give it to him just buy him the things he needs when he needs them . hes only had a couple of months of it im annoyed at all the years we missed out on it was money we could well of done with for him and all the things he broken in our house and holes in the walls and doors etc

PriorityOne · 29th July 2008, 23:14

Difficult.

What course is he doing at college ? Do you know what triggers the aggressive outbursts ? Is it frustration at not being understood/unable to express himself ? Does this happen at college as well or just at home ?

cidergirl · 29th July 2008, 23:20

hes doing e to e entry to employment but hes only allowed to do a few hours as he didnt behave in the bricklaying tasters they he has had out bursts at the college but it was swearing and shouting out bursts when he didnt understand the maths he was doing with the tutor his reading and writing and spelling is about age 7 or below and he doesnt retain the information he learns i think they dont like him and just want to get rid of him to make there life easy

PriorityOne · 29th July 2008, 23:30

To be honest, this doesn't sound like the right environment for him anyway.... and the content is too difficult for him to understand if his reading/writing/spelling is 7 years.

I don't know much about e to e courses, but am assuming that DWP placed him on this ? If so, then they will have done it more for their own agenda than for his....ie, to place him somewhere/anywhere.

You mentioned Connexions earlier.... have they advised on any courses that would be suitable for him, according to his needs ? Do you have any ideas of your own, as his Mum ? Have you spoken to them about courses that are not linked to DWP ?... and, do they know that he gets DLA ?

Sorry for all the questions...

cidergirl · 29th July 2008, 23:36

he was sent on this course because its for people who are as my older son calls them retards . who are too young to sign on but need to claim there £30 ema and have no qulifications and they do job searches tasters in different things like engineering bricklaying plastering etc they do driving test theory practice . and one to one work in maths and english so it should of been ideal for him .
connexions in my opinion are a waste of time they do know he now gets dla but they as good as told me i mother him too much and he needs to stand on his own 2 feet . they want him to see a disability person at the job centre to see what sort of job he can do thye think he wouldnt b safe on a building site

cidergirl · 29th July 2008, 23:40

i as his mother think he does need to go to college to stop him hanging around and doing something to help him get a job i dont think he is ready for a job yet he needs another year at college and if they let him do a course in bricklaying or plastering he would enjoy it but they wont give him the choice . he needs to b given a chance and then i can get my family allowance back lol

PriorityOne · 29th July 2008, 23:50

Sometimes the things that other people think'll be ideal, turn out to be a load of tosh... The English/Maths will be mixed ability to an extent and your son no longer has the Statemented support with these.

Connexions probably don't know what to do either.... but may be right about having him assessed by someone who knows about the kind of work that disabled people can do... and what will just aggravate a particular condition. It does sound as if this might be the better option here, but I would suggest that you accompany your son when he goes down there, so that the person knows the full picture about the kind of problems he has.... and the kind of problems that you have at home. If you need to follow this up with a 'phone call after the interview... perhaps to discuss concerns that you don't want to speak of in front of your son, then do that as well. Make sure the person knows that your son had a Statement at school though.... and what it was for.

That bit aside, he really does need to come off the cannabis... and for this, I suggest that you contact a support group that can offer advice to you (initially) and then to your son, if/when he realises that he needs to stop. He'll need to want to stop before anything can work.... which will be frustrating for you, but there's nothing I can say that will take that feeling away...

Please think twice about the Ritalin though.... or at least, do your own research on this drug before agreeing to give it to your son.

emmaf01 · 30th July 2008, 18:05

Many Disability Employment Advisors based in jobcentres are experts who truly care about the people they see and try to place. They will not just throw someone into any employment, they want to find somewhere a person will be happy. They also look at courses to enable someone to become employed further down the line. Definately worth a try.

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