Re: adhd/autism

[mrsc]

Didn't see this before my eldest son (17) has ADHD wasn't diagnosed until he was in second year at the academy 13-14 after he had been excluded from school twice third time and he was out for good was it not for a certain staff member (not sure of her title) he was able to speak to her and explain what he was feeling etc. and she got him the help that he needed she would sit in with him in some of his classes he was on Ritilin but hated it as he grew older he was more able to cope on his own I really owe a lot to that Lady.
My youngest son (14) is waiting for an appointment for an assesment he has been described as being on the austistic spectrum (not sure really what that means)he is doing quite well in school in mostly credit classes but they say he can do better in more subjects he seldom speaks and I think the teachers are finding it difficult it can be quite hard at times with him he just seems to look right through you when you speak to him and then just walks away but we are so used to it.I know I am not explaining it very well its quite difficult I love them no matter what.Until he has been diagnosed I don't know what to look at for information.

[Bookworm]

Have moved your post to its own thread, it will make things easier to follow so your story and Lindsay's don't get tangled up.

The autistic spectrum is so called because it has so many variations that a lot of conditions come under it.
Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Attention Deficit Hyperective Disorder (ADHD), Asperger's Syndrome, autism, and other associated disorders like OCD, dyspraxia, dyslexia, dyscalculia, all combine to make it sometimes really difficult to get the right label. Not two ASD kids are the same, so it can be difficult to get a handle on it. Some will have learning difficulties, some not, some will be verbal, some not, etc...

From the little you have said about your child, I'd be tempted to say Asperger's, so maybe you want to read up on that and see if it ticks the right boxes? (Remember though my opinion is just that, I am not a diagnostician or a trained specialist of any kind!!!)

ASPERGER's DISORDER (DSM IV Diagnostic Criteria)

is the clinical categorisation for AS.

If not, start googling autistic spectrum disorder, and just click on links and read, it's amazing how quickly you'll get an idea for yourself of what is the issue. I remember clicking on a link where this woman was describing how this AS guy at work would go into one if someone took "his" chair, although noone could know by what criteria this was supposed to be his chair, and thinking: "OMG, T. does that at school", and that was one of the first things that set me thinking on the lines of Asperger's, of which I had never heard of before. Then when I finally came across the DSM-IV definition (the link I have given you), it all fell into place just like that. I had been looking at it all this time, only I didn't know what it was I had been looking at.

[mrsc]

Thanks for the info Bookworm.
Read through the link you gave me and there is bits on there I am thinking that's like J.
Hand gestures instead of speaking
Standing too close (this was one of the problems one of his teachers found disturbing my son is a very big lad for his age nearly 6ft and quite big built but a big softy he is always cuddling me)
He does have friends but tends to spend a lot of time on his own its the same within the family, I feel he is missing out he has 2 older sisters and 1 older brother.His sisters try to include him in the conversation but he just walks away.He was such a chatty kid when he was younger and often went out with his sisters to the park etc. and now he just doesn't communicate with them at all it does upset me at times although he seems to be happy.
There are more similarities on the list I am going to read it again and write it down.
We had a meeting with the school Doctor today and all she could get out of him was "don't know" and shrugging of the shoulders she has asked him if it is easier for him to write it down regarding what problems he thinks he is having at school.
Going to do some more reading Thanks again

[groovycaz]

Hi mrsc
my son also stands very close to his peers, he went through a period where he would lick other children on the face and then get very upset because they were upset, hes now learned not to invade others personal space and has stopped doing the licking thing, hes also very loving, to the point of being obsessive, telling me over and over again, so he can hear it back, which makes him happy, I sometimes think its a confidence thing, but on the whole he is a very happy child who knows hes very much loved, he goes through periods where something takes his interest and whatever that interest is, it takes over his life and he wants to talk about it the whole time, Ive learned that autistic children seem to have no malice in them, although my son does not give any information freely, I never hear him say anything bad about anyone, which is really sweet considering how cruel some children can be, I also believe there is a "link" in our family with regards to my sons autism, mother ADHD, brother ADHD, nephew ADHD and cousins son autistic and ADHD, its something im looking into at the moment to see how far back i can trace this "link" Gc

[mrsc]

Thanks groovycaz
Sometimes you feel like you are the only one it's good to talk to others that have/or are going through the same thing.
My son constantly comes and gives me a hug.
I was wondering if there was a link between ADHD etc as my oldest son has this and I am sure my husband (although not diagnosed has ADHD)

I was a bit annoyed when I had a meeting with the school Educational Phsycologist and his guidance teacher when she mentioned the instance with the teacher and J. standing too close to him, he felt threatened by him,but he just isn't a violent kind of person at all.And they mentioned that instead of asking for a bit of paper he just points.

I just hope that he gets all the help he needs (i will fight for this) as he is very bright he really likes science subjects and is in the top class for these.He is in the top classes for Physics, Chemistry, Geography, Modern Studies and Graphic Communication these are all subjects he enjoys.

He is accepted in school as he tends to stick with the same group of people.

[groovycaz]

I believe in early intervention and as your son was around 14 years old when he was diagnosed, he would have recieved very little help developing his social skills, before i took my son out of his old school he would spend all his playtimes alone, I'd ask him what he had done in school that day and it was like extracting teeth, no information just "I dont know" or playtimes were "I was rolling on the grass", I used to cry thinking why has he no friends, the school he now attends have a policy where if they see him alone in the yard, whoever is on yard duty will go over to the other children and ask them to invite Sam in to play and he now has lots of friends, in fact i'd say he was quite popular, and the other children love to help him, which I think is wonderful,
As for your husband, and also when I was in school there was never any mention of ADHD, we did not know what that was, we had the naughty kids in the class who would not or could not follow the rules, my own mother was a complete nightmare when we were children and myself and brothers were very scared of her, i used to wish she could be nice like my friends mothers but i now have a better understanding of her mental health, but there was no help in those days and unfortunately she was known as the mother from hell by all our friends who would never come to our house, I learned to accept her the way she was but my older brother found her particularly bad (as she could be very violent) and decided at 15 years old that he couldnt cope and went to live with our grandmother, which was a shame but better for him, and he went on to do very well in life so not all bad..Gc

[mrsc]

Certain things are just begining to click(they keep asking me how is he at sports etc) when he was at primary school all his friends were into football so when the school started football training we let him go,it was heartbreaking watching him he just didn't have a clue he couldn't seem to follow what everyone else was doing at all and they would all shout at him he still isn't keen although his PE teacher did say he was very good at cross country running.
We went through a very bad spell in 2003 and our home was repossessed we then went into rented accomodation but I kept him at his school but he was away from his friends after school I think that had an effect on him when we moved into another rented place he insisted he went to the school that was near he did make a couple of friends there but was also bullied by a large group of lads.We then moved again and he went to another school he got on alright there then we moved again just before he started at the secondary school he now attends, he has some lovely friends we stay in a small village which I think he prefers.I did go through a very guilty phase were I blamed myself and the constant moving but I do feel now that he is very happy here and prefers the quiet country life.

[mariejader]

[QUOTECertain things are just begining to click(they keep asking me how is he at sports etc) when he was at primary school all his friends were into football so when the school started football training we let him go,it was heartbreaking watching him he just didn't have a clue he couldn't seem to follow what everyone else was doing at all and they would all shout at him he still isn't keen although his PE teacher did say he was very good at cross country running.
][/quote]

My lad for the first year at school never did sports it was to much for him, ie the changing room no staff around to help him etc, last year they did manage to get in back into PE but put special measures in to help, he got changed before the rest of the group and if he wanted to take part in the lession he was encouraged, if not he would with his LSA go and shoot hoops with the basket ball, I have to say this was his favourite option, school were happy as he was still doing some PE activity, just goes to show if you have the right support then positive things can be acheived

[Bookworm]

I'll second that. PE used to be a meltdown trigger for T., and now, he goes swimming, and has started doing PE again. However, a few months ago, he started refusing to go again, and we narrowed it down that he didn't like being in shorts, so I tried getting him to take tracksuit trousers instead, and that worked.

[mrsc]

all the little things are starting to add up now when J. was in primary 7 he was always in trouble for not having his PE kit (he did have it but told them he didn't) he then started wearing it under his clothes,his teacher at that time asked me to go to school and discuss this and it came down to he didn't want to change with everyone so she told him he could go into the toilets either before or after everyone else and this worked a treat so he was happy once more to join in he was only at thet school for just over a year.
His teacher there was very understanding and she enjoyed his conversations once he got going (one of the few teachers come to think about it now when he did speak to her it was in great depth and she did say she was out of her depth with some of the topics as he knew so much more than her and she couldn't answer some of his questions)

My Dad was just remembering the day they took him to the secondery school open night,he couldn't wait to get into the science block,once there he was off my parents were amazed at the questions he was asking he spoke for ages they are used to him being so quiet he hasn't always been quiet he was quite hyper when he was small.

[mariejader]

My Dad was just remembering the day they took him to the secondery school open night,he couldn't wait to get into the science block,once there he was off my parents were amazed at the questions he was asking he spoke for ages they are used to him being so quiet he hasn't always been quiet he was quite hyper when he was small.

Science is generally a subject that ASD kids do well in and enjoy, so your comment there does not surprise me

We had a meeting with the school Doctor today and all she could get out of him was "don't know" and shrugging of the shoulders she has asked him if it is easier for him to write it down regarding what problems he thinks he is having at school.
Going to do some more reading Thanks again

This could prove to be a issue for him, sadly ASD kids from my experience don't really understand what their problems are, nor did we to be totally honest at the time we got the dx, I think you may need to do a bit more research on this subject to be able to get the help that is being offered.

For example some of the problems we have are with bright lights, ie car head lights at night, or the light the dentist uses and firework displays, concerts etc there are so many different issues, we can't put milk on his cereal it has to be in a seperate cup to drink all issues that we have lived with on a daily basis and never took any notice of.

I hope this may offer you some help

[groovycaz]

Hi mrsc
Sam cant cope very well in crowds, in PE he runs away on the field like a greyhound and when I asked him why he said he felt squiggly, thats the term he uses when he cant keep still, so I believe the noise when all the children are together makes him feel like that, its the same when swimming, he goes to get changes 5 mins before everyone else, when I take him shopping, I nearly always turned around and he was gone, so now if he wants to spend his pocket money we go for his things first, then he'l stay with me as his mind is'nt wandering and it stops him rolling around on the floor..Gc

[chelseaboy]

Hi peeps, have just found this thread through browsing (home alone/day off) Our daughter has Autism (she is now 6) we were lucky, mother-in-law used to work with Autistic kids and friend has an older son who has Autism so we picked up on the symptoms very early, she goes to an excelent special needs school who are fantastic, her development in the first year has been staggering, one of the best things we did was to go on a course designed for carers of autistic children (i'll ask the wife when she gets home) but basically taught me a lot about what upsets her and reactions to things, my interaction with her and understanding has improved greatly. (that sounds horrible, like we never used to communicate or something but i'm sure you know where i'm coming from.) anyhow, got to pick the kids up, back later.

[mrsc]

I have my first appointment on the 9th Oct so hopefully will get some good info(and a diagnosis) from them they were very good when I went there with my son who has ADHD.

I will let you know how I get on.

Thanks all of you for the replies I don't feel so alone now.

[Hopeful1]

Hi MrsC

I just wanted to offer some support. I work with children / teenagers on the ASD spectrum. I find it so interesting to hear the experiences of the family.

I was just wondering, does the school offer a social skills group?

It always makes me smile when teachers complain about children looking at them blankly or not looking at them at all. For one, many kids with ASD find eye contact difficult. Secondly, the teachers have often waffled and completed bombarded the poor child with so much info., that they have no idea what they're talking about!

Hope the appointment goes well

[mrsc]

Thanks hopeful1,The appointment went well, really nice Doctor put us all at ease,she really just wanted to find out about Jamie what he was like at nursery, primary school, and when he was with his friends etc. Jamie didn't say very much at all (Didn't really expect him to). She is going to speak to his guidance teacher and get a report on what he is like in school,she also explained that the next appointment (2 weeks) will just be Herself and Jamie and it's some sort of test (don't think this is the right word for it,my heads in a muddle at the moment) she did emphasise that it will be boring, and then the next meeting will be herself and Jamie again just to try and get to know him a bit better.There was also a mention of an occupational therapist either visiting him at home or school ?I was just wondering, does the school offer a social skills group? Sorry not sure how to do quotes ( I must read Bookies guide for dummies)Not sure I am going to ask to speak to his guidance teacher about this.Thanks for the support we still have a long way to go, and I really appreciate having someone other than family to talk to about this.Mrs c