Hello, I am hoping someone can explain things to me.

Me and my partner separated back in 2006. He moved into a flat which he lived in untill nov 2010. During those years he has had unlimited access to his son, visiting quite regularly.

A few days ago i had a visit from an investigations officer from the housing benefit, who informed me someone had phoned the hot line stating he was living here, which at the time i was upset obviously, but not too concerned as he wasnt living here, they told me they just need his address as they couldnt find him, only at his previous address he had left Nov 2010, then they can close the case. That was easy enough, i just needed to give him a ring and get his girlfriends full address who he is currently residing with.

I phoned him to get this info, he came round, and announced to me his ex-girlfriend had threatened to do this as she wasnt happy about him visiting us, which he had failed to tell me before, at least i would not have had such a shock!!

He gave me the address, and casually told me he has been staying with her for a few months, as he is searching for another flat, but his name wasnt on any bills or anything, so obviously there is no evidence of him living there, i was horrified!!!!

My question is what happens now? when i give them his address, will they be happy with this address. I have now gone from being not so worried to feeling very sick worried.......i have never done anything wrong in my life through fear of consequences, and here i am dealing with all this after 6 years of separation.

He informs me his driving licence, bank address, everything is all still registered at his previous address, he wasnt going to bother changing anything until he got another flat which was obviously put on hold when he was living with his girlfriends.

Please, what can I do now I am so scared.

Hi Chr

Welcome to CAG

The guys will be happy to advise as soon as they are available.

Try not to worry, a waste of energy and won't help to resolve your problem.

If all his records are registered at his previous address and not to your address, he cannot be presumed to be living with you.

his bank, licence etc are at an address that he lived at 12 months ago. I can give them an address, but he has no paperwork to prove he lives there, which means i have no proof. I have been here bringing up his son since he left 6 years ago, and he has been living the free life.

I am so desparate to know what will happen now i have no proof, worst case senario, so i at least know what to expect.

At the moment, the onus is not on you, regardless of what they may say. It's not for you to prove he doesn't live with you - it's for them to prove that he does.

If they are determined to lauch a full blown investigation then they will use their authorised officers to trace his data. Authorised officers can access his bank records, DVLA records, employment records, credit applications all without his knowledge or consent. If they choose to do this, and he has everything registered to another address then they will see that for themselves.

If they are able to provide evidence of him living with you, it is only then that the onus shifts onto you, to prove different.

All there is is an old joint account that he uses. He used this account after we spit up then opened a new account at his new address, his new account was an electron account, which at that time a few retailers didnt except electron cards so he would use the old joint account as it was visa debit and he still does.

We both do everything online, so do not receive statements, and after checking this morning that joint account is still registered at my address, but i do not use it, that is the only link.

All there is is an old joint account that he uses. He used this account after we spit up then opened a new account at his new address, his new account was an electron account, which at that time a few retailers didnt except electron cards so he would use the old joint account as it was visa debit and he still does.

 

We both do everything online, so do not receive statements, and after checking this morning that joint account is still registered at my address, but i do not use it, that is the only link.

I had a joint account with my kids dad for about 9 years after we split, registered at my address, also was rarely used. But occasionally was. I wouldn't worry too much about that one. Your case sounds pretty cut n dried to me & hopefully will be straightened out by the sounds of it.

thx for your advice all.....i will give them his address on monday even though doesnt look like he is registered there, and hopefully that will be the end of it, do you think it will be? and will they tell me so i can finally get some sleep and eat? i am not coping very well i cant handle the fact i have done nothing wrong and im going through this.

Put it this way, they would need a lot more than that to prosecute you. And if they have been watching your home they won't have any evidence there. Easy to say, but I shouldn't worry too much. They can't get enough evidence of something that isn't happening, to take you to court.

I phoned them on monday, gave them his address, she said she would look into it and call me back if the case is closed. Its now Wed night and not heard anything.

In the meantime, my ex and his girlfriend are arguing and she is threatening to throw him out, and he is blaming me. I really want to get off benefits cause i cant cope with all this and i am now seriously thinking about letting him move in here so i can break from benefits, at least until i can find a full time job to support me and my son without benefits.

I dont know whether i am coming or going, my job is suffering, i am loosing weight, i dont feel well and wishing my family were close by as i so desperately need their support.

I phoned them on monday, gave them his address, she said she would look into it and call me back if the case is closed. Its now Wed night and not heard anything.

 

In the meantime, my ex and his girlfriend are arguing and she is threatening to throw him out, and he is blaming me. I really want to get off benefits cause i cant cope with all this and i am now seriously thinking about letting him move in here so i can break from benefits, at least until i can find a full time job to support me and my son without benefits.

 

I dont know whether i am coming or going, my job is suffering, i am loosing weight, i dont feel well and wishing my family were close by as i so desperately need their support.

I totally know how you feel about that. I gave up housing benefit when they turned me over last year, I upped my hours at work & lived on beans on toast for a few months until I got my finances sorted, so I could pay all the rent myself. With CSA payments & tax credits, it was possible. Depends how many expenses you have really though I guess, as to if you could manage.

Would he move in with you though? If this is upsetting his girlfriend, is it likely that he would move in with you & know he'll have no chance of making it work with her again? I don't personally think they have much on you, if he doesn't live there, stick to your guns.

Christy, you'll get good advice and support here. Honestly, if I were you, I'd go and find something that you know relaxes you and do it for an hour or two, to try and take your mind off this for a while. Don't make any long-term decisions while you're this stressed, either! Give them another call tomorrow by all means, but take tonight off from worrying about it.

Seriously...go and take a warm bath, have nice cup of tea and settle down with a good book for the evening (I'm assuming you don't find paint-balling or jujitsu relaxing here!) .

Thank you so much for your kind words it so nice to have you all to talk to.

I am not sure whether he would move in with me without discussing it with him, and from what he is telling me his relationship is over. I could not afford to survive without financial help at the moment I only work part-time as it is all I have been able to find after searching for jobs for nearly 2 years, if i could i would believe me. I have rheumatoid arthritis and it has taken a number of years for the specialists to find drugs that work for me, so i didnt work for several years after the birth of my son (it was the pregnancy that bought it on). Before i had my son i had a very good job which i was to return to after his birth but things took a turn for the worst when i found within months of having him i could barely change his nappy, feed him, pick him up as well as walk, drive, do my hair or even feed myself! and had to rely solely on his dad and family to help, when my son was 5 we separated, and i had to turn to benefits for help.

At present my only way out of benefits is to have him move in with me, and boy do i want out, i never ever ever want to go through this again, if i could i would give it all up and go and live with my sister, but i have a job here, and it took so long to get it, and has made me feel alive again, until now.

Just an update....jadey u are right, he wants to try to patch things up with his girlfriend, but has stated that if at any time my benefits are suspended he will try and cover what i loose or move in for our sons sake as he has to put him first.

I spoke to the investigating officer this morning asking if there had been any progress, she said she just needs to verify he is there with the council tax payer at his address and then she will write to me informing me the case is closed. Can she just say that, and not lead me into a false sense of security? as if this is the case everything should be ok?

Yes sounds hunky dorey to me. All they have to go on is a tip off from some well meaning doogooder & nothing else! I reckon you can breathe again now.

thx jadey, i really hope so, i dont trust her, when she first sent me the letter to say she was coming round i phoned her to ask what it was concerning, she told me it was nothing to worry about, so it put my mind at rest, then when she came and told me i nearly fell off the sofa, i was horrified. This is why i was so unsure whether she was telling the truth, and if she was allowed to say that if it wasnt true.

I'm not sure they are the decision makers, the one that came to mine certainly wasn't, but of course they'll have some influence, as you're never likely to meet that person. And yes, for some reason they are very snake like, don't like giving it away why they're visiting, or going to interview you, & I can understand that at times that's for the best, but lets be honest, if someone is up to no good, at that piont if they are going to try hiding evidence they will, & by the time they actually invite you for an IUC, they have, or think they have enough evidence against you anyway.

I personally think it's to unerve people, well, no, everyone knows it actually is lol

it does seem strange that all she needs to do is get confirmation from the tax payer he lives there, probably a letter or phone call, and its been a week and she said she hasnt even sent it out yet. It would take 5 mins for a call or to type a letter?

They are not going to leave it there r they?