Thread: Caged in Chaos....Dyspraxia...Floo red by Frustration.

Hi to everyone in SEN land.

Caged in Chaos is the title of a book by Victoria Biggs, an at the time of writing, teenage Dyspraxic.

It was as a direct result of reading that book that led me to having my teenage daughter 'asessed' and she was diagnosed with 'significant' Dyspraxia.

At the time I was just grateful to find an answer to the questions that had been troubling me and because of the diagnosis I was able to secure extra time in her GCSE's and learning support at School action plus level.

I won't bore you with the details in this first post but the upshot is she has been bullied relentlessly for her 'different' way of doing things over the past 10-12 years and I now have a beautiful, intelligent and talented daughter with NO self esteem, NO confidence in her own ability and who is completely floored by the frustration of it all.

Unlike some people with 'disabilities' her differences are hidden and not seen by the naked eye, Some professionals say the 'condition' doesn't exist and Dyspraxics are just disorganised, clumsy, lazy people. But maybe they should look at these kids trying for years to learn how to ride a bike or swim or work out how to tie their shoelaces!!

Any way rant over I just want to know at this stage;

Are there any Dyspraxic Caggers out there?

Are there any Caggers with Dyspraxic Teenagers?

Is there anyone who knows of a Parent Support Group for Dyspraxic Teenagers?

Because she was diagnosed so late in life (privately I might add, NHS didn't want to know because of her age...no wait...She may still be on the waiting list it's only been 4 years! ) we never got any support in how to deal with the problem and now she is leaving college and facing a very uncertain future.

She was convinced by her college tutors to apply for a place at UNI.
She went for an interview, got rejected and is now in even deeper despair than she was before.

Any help or advice is VERY much appreciated.

Thanks for reading. Spam

Hi spam

Found a couple of websites for you if you want to take a look

Dyspraxic Adults

Dyspraxic Teens Forum - Index page

or if you would like a local support group have a look at your local gov website, it will be listed there.

Maybe contact connexions as they offer support for people up to 25 with disabilities and might be able to help your daughter to decide what she could do next from college

hope everything works out ok

Hi Maggie... Thank You

When I googled I hadn't seen those and for some reason I am 'forbidden access to the Dyspraxia Foundation website.

I think it's going to be an uphill struggle as daughter is ashamed/embarrased about her diagnosis because she has been labelled 'thick' for so long she believes it.

I would love her to get in contact with some fellow Dyspraxics and compare 'notes' if only to make her realise it's a difference and not a disability!

Hey ho here we go.

Thanks again. Spam

The education system in this country has got a lot to answer for, not to mention the bullies, probably jealous the ignorant fools .

Best wishes

my 9 year old has dyspraxia and he gets bullied badly for it. i have no support at all but we are trying to get him extra help with school like a statment but i have been told not much chance so he will just have to struggle through on his own.
hope you have better luck

Originally Posted by binkhus

my 9 year old has dyspraxia and he gets bullied badly for it. i have no support at all but we are trying to get him extra help with school like a statment but i have been told not much chance so he will just have to struggle through on his own.
hope you have better luck

You may not be able to get a 'Statement' but if you have the diagnosis then he should receive support at School Action Plus level. Fight for it and don't give in!!!

Unfortunately, for my daughter, she was born late August and all her difficulties were put down to her 'Immaturity'.
I ended up putting her in Private school for 3 years in an effort to get her 1-1 tuition to 'catch up'. I had no idea she had difficulties at the time and the state school hadn't picked up on it they just said she was lazy and didn't produce any work!

It wasn't until she presented her frustration in anger and destructive behaviour that I seriously considered Ed Psych intervention...eventually as I said, I got her diagnosed as I wasn't prepared to wait any longer for help from the respective authorities.

Dyspraxia is a HIDDEN difficulty. An intelligent child can appear lazy but all they are doing is using the coping strategy of avoidence because they find the task too hard.

Please feel free to use this thread as a sounding board as I fully understand the difficulties you have, and will probably go through.

Spam. x

hi

I have 2 sons with dyspraxia, aged 16 and 18,

both doing really well considering the difficulties they have,

my 16 year old as just left school and is going on to do an e2e course, which he's really looking forward to,

my 18 year old did a year at college and now is working full time,

I'm so proud of both my lads, having to overcome these disabilities, my 16 year old still cant fasten shoe laces either,

just trying to say really that it can work out for teenagers with dyspraxia,

and the person who mentioned conexions further up is a great idea, they can get your daughter on the right path, my lads would'nt be where they are today if it was'nt for conexions,

hope that helps,

and good luck to you and your daughter,

Originally Posted by trickytrish

hi

I have 2 sons with dyspraxia, aged 16 and 18,

both doing really well considering the difficulties they have,

my 16 year old as just left school and is going on to do an e2e course, which he's really looking forward to,

my 18 year old did a year at college and now is working full time,

I'm so proud of both my lads, having to overcome these disabilities, my 16 year old still cant fasten shoe laces either,

just trying to say really that it can work out for teenagers with dyspraxia,

and the person who mentioned conexions further up is a great idea, they can get your daughter on the right path, my lads would'nt be where they are today if it was'nt for conexions,

hope that helps,

and good luck to you and your daughter,

Thank you,

It really is heartwarming to know that your boys are doing well.

Over the years my daughter has achieved so much that I am really proud of, but with her low self esteem she doesn't see it like that.

The fact that dyspraxics have to put double the effort into achieving something proves that they have worked incredibly hard, but i'm still trying to convince her (and a lot of other people) of that!

We have heard she has another Uni interview next week so fingers and toes crossed. Then if no luck we are going to try connexions.

Once again, thanks for your input and support.

Spam.

hi spam

my 2 lads were both diagnosed in reception, so they hav'nt just been diagnosed in later life etc, but they were never statemented,

they got a lot of extra help through primary school but unfortunatly as soon as they hit secondary that help stopped apart from extra time in there exams,

unfortunatly the low self esteem is part of dyspraxia my 2 are the same,

honestly conexions are really good, and even arrange for courses, at college or uni or elsewhere, how to claim benefits, or EMA, and whole host of other things they can offer,

good luck with the uni interview hope she manages to get in,

I just stumbled on this thread spammy. I suffer with a mild form of Dyspraxia. Similarly to your daughter I was diagnosed late on (last year of GCSE's.. so 15 - 16) I then went to college to do a course in electronics, but I got so little support back then (1992) that I ended up quitting. I was always the person that knew the most in the class, but getting it down on paper was a different story altogether. It was very frustrating.

So it's taken me a long time to get any meaningful qualifications, I have been repairing computers since 1992, self taught, and have this year at the age of 35 passed my "Supporting Users and Troubleshooting a Microsoft Windows XP Operating System" Microsoft certification.

I was told that it had gone undiscovered for so long in me because of how intelligent I am, and I suspect it'll be the same thing for your daughter.

Please pass on my best wishes to your daughter.

Originally Posted by locutus

I just stumbled on this thread spammy. Typical dyspraxic always crashing into things! I suffer with a mild form of Dyspraxia. Similarly to your daughter I was diagnosed late on (last year of GCSE's.. so 15 - 16) I then went to college to do a course in electronics, but I got so little support back then (1992) that I ended up quitting. Despite being on the SEN register at college her needs were ignored too..I was always the person that knew the most in the class, but getting it down on paper was a different story altogether. It was very frustrating. Exactly!! Her geography teacher once asked me If she cheated in her exam because it was a multiple choice and she got 90 odd % The upshot was that she just couldn't write what she wanted to say in a coherent manner but she could easily answer the yes/no is it a,b,c or d questions
So it's taken me a long time to get any meaningful qualifications, I have been repairing computers since 1992, self taught, and have this year at the age of 35 passed my "Supporting Users and Troubleshooting a Microsoft Windows XP Operating System" Microsoft certification. Sincerest congratulations.. we can tell you know your stuff with what you post on here..

I was told that it had gone undiscovered for so long in me because of how intelligent I am, and I suspect it'll be the same thing for your daughter.

I believe that to be the situation... she was intelligent enough to find coping strategies also which I suspect was the same for you.

Please pass on my best wishes to your daughter.Thanks, I have done and it's given her a little bit of a boost

At the moment she has a part time job at M&S and after a recent non visit to a uni interview.. don't ask she has decided to knock education on the head for the time being and set about becoming a holiday Rep..

She picks up languages really easily but the 'organisation' aspect of things leaves a lot to be desired so I wait with baited breath on that one.

Thanks again for your support Locutus... It's really great to see people succeed in difficult situations and I'm sure your shared experiences have and will shine a light at the end of the tunnel for many others in the same position.

Take care,
Spam.

Originally Posted by Spamalot

after a recent non visit to a uni interview.. don't ask

I do see where she is coming from. When you feel let down by the education system, the last thing you want is to go straight back into it.

Originally Posted by Spamalot

she has decided to knock education on the head for the time being and set about becoming a holiday Rep..

A year or so as a Holiday Rep may do her confidence some good, and when the economy picks up a bit, she should get some decent money!

Originally Posted by Spamalot

She picks up languages really easily but the 'organisation' aspect of things leaves a lot to be desired so I wait with baited breath on that one.

Moving far away with no family around is a little daunting! If she does go for it, maybe a practice run at organizing a home? Let her do the weekly shopping list, and balance her time between work, chores and play. Teach her about managing finances (a lesson I wish I'd learned before I got myself into a mess LOL) and if she does like the travel and tourism industry, the Open University do some nice courses (a neighbor of mine set herself up as a travel rep working from her own home... she did really well!)

Originally Posted by Spamalot

Thanks again for your support Locutus... It's really great to see people succeed in difficult situations and I'm sure your shared experiences have and will shine a light at the end of the tunnel for many others in the same position.

I'm looking forward to your daughter succeeding and inspiring me to do more