It just gets worse-Debt problems are causing great stress.

**nowayjose** · 25th March 2009 17:02

Im sorry everyone but Im on a downer, dont know how much more I can take..

DCA icon

letters arriving daily, phone ringing all the time with messages left on my answer machine (I never answer the phone unless I recognise the number)

Almost 2 months behind on my mortgage icon

(Kensington)

Husband not in work due to sickness (Told today not entitled to anymore Employment Support Allowance)

I only work as a relief, no set hours. Looking for more work but nothing around.

Attachment of earning for council tax on my wages.

Car repossessed in Jan.

Had to borrow money from sister in law to buy a cheap run around, but can rarely afford to put petrol in to go to work

On token meters Gas and Electricity. No gas at the moment so sitting here typing with freezing cold hands.

Very little food in the house.

Afraid to do the washing cos it uses too much electricity.

Sick of worrying from one week to the next.

Contract phone/sky disconnected.

Dreading family birthdays etc.

Feel like Im in a black tunnel with no way out, sick of my hubby saying we will be alright when I know we are on the verge of losing our home, and will NEVER be free of debt, I feel so ashamed.

NWJ

**yourbank** · 25th March 2009 17:27

Firstly, don't be ashamed. Never be ashamed of your circumstances.

There is a wealth of people with experience here who will help you. First thing first. Who are the DCA's cos I think there are a few people who can advise you what to do with them. Have you put in a bank charges claim yet? Or is it on hold?

I think we need to get rid of the debt collection icon

Agency. Which ones are they?

**nowayjose** · 25th March 2009 17:42

Thanks for the reply, tbh my head is in the shed, I have started CCA ing most of my debtors but Im so confused Ive lost track, they are a list as long as your arm, and they have been passed to so many people I dont know whos who. I would have to get all the paper work out but off the top of my head there is first credit icon

, Cabot, Wisemans, Aktiv Kapital, Scotcall,Fredrickson International, Wescot (but has just been passed back to Abbey icon

cos account in dispute) Face to face, sc gray (bt), wescot(sky), bryan carter(boxclever), ruthbridge theres prob some more piddly little ones, without the recent car repo, the abbey claim has been stayed so no luck there.
Even listing them down like this is making me feel sick.
At the mo I am not paying anything off these debts and I am not in a position to start either, so really dont know what to do... I cant help but feel ashamed, though

**yourbank** · 25th March 2009 17:47

Ok, what you need to do is get em in alphabetical order.
If they have telephone numbers on your phone, note them down and use this
phone call Comments
Let's get them to stop calling you
http://www.consumerforums.com/resour...e-letter-.html

I will ask a few people I know to have a look at the thread....

**steven4064** · 25th March 2009 18:13

NWJ

It sounds like you need to getall your debts sorted out. The first thing to do is to produce a statement of income and expenditure - there is a model on the National Debt Line website (National Debtline – Free, Confidential Debt Advice – Call 0808 808 4000).

Debts are not all equal - there are priority debts (mortgage icon

/rent, couuncil tax, electricity/gas etc) and non-priority debts (credit cards, cataogues, banks) and the strategy for dealing with each group is different.

1 Priority debts - you must keep paying the current payments if at all possible (and we realise that when circumstances change, this may not be possible) and send them your statement of income and expenditure to negotiate how you can begin to pay off any arrears.

2 Non-priority debts - send them your statement of income and expenditure and tell them you are trying to sort out your finances. Ask them to stop adding interest icon

and charges and offer them £1/month.

THat is the basic plan. People in debt often find it really hard to even begin the process (it sounds like you may be in that position). As YB says, though, no need to be ashamed. You can get help and support in this - either fro others on CAG icon

who are there or have been there or through something like National Debt Line. You could give them a call on 0808 808 4000

Don't despair.

**MARTIN3030** · 25th March 2009 18:14

Its no consolation Jose but there have been many users on CAG icon

with the same issues as you and managed to sort things out.Its prob the case that there are multiple DCAs involved with the same accounts and you feel like a dog chasing its tail ?
Dealing with one or two CCAs is hard enough but with other probs it can be a drain.
First of all this needs a plan of action -trying to deal with things all at once is almost impossible.
Can you list these debts and give some info about them individually ?
For your rejection of the benefits try a post on the benefits forums you will get good advice there.
Amongst all this there will be ways to deal with things immediately,and others that can be dealt with as needed.There has to be a way .......and there is likely to be-theres people here who have been in the same place as you-and who are ready and willing to help you.

**42man** · 25th March 2009 18:20

Be strong NWJ....I have been in a similar situation as you so I know what it is like..... ring the National Debtline, their service is free, confidential and impartial....it might also be worth taking a look at the Government mortgage icon

Rescue Scheme too - mortgage Rescue scheme : Directgov - Home and community

**nowayjose** · 25th March 2009 19:14

Thanks everyone for replying, my biggest problem is getting my other half to accept that we have a problem, he always tries to look on the bright side and it drives me mad, and when it all gets too much for me and I get upset, he flies off the handle and thats when the conversation stops, without sounding soft we love each other very much, we ve been married for almost 22 years with 2 grown up children and 2 younger, but I really feel like this is putting a strain on our relationship. I know he feels useless that he is unable to keep a job down due to his ill health (he has Crohns and he has lost several jobs due to this) and this is why we are in this situation. I know I have been advised to phone the National Debt line but that would be difficult because he doesnt know I have asked for help on this forum and he thinks along the lines of they cant have what we havent got. Well thats fine but when your without heating and wondering if you have enough food and electricity/petrol till my next payday sometimes gets too much.
Thanks for your advice Steven as regards to priorotising my debts, at the moment I dont think I have enough money for the priority debts without clearing arrears and having enough for food, clothing etc so I really dont know. I am afraid I will lose my home, I have lived here all my life, it was left to me by my mother who I cared for before she died, unfortunately it needed a lot of building work and I have used up the equity in it to pay for remortgages to cover this and consolidating loans , I would have great shame in explaining to my brother and sisters if the house was repossessed.
Sorry to rant on everyone, but this is how I feel at the mo.

**MARTIN3030** · 25th March 2009 19:31

Its obviously having an effect on your relationship-It would be impossible not to have-but dealing with this together should take some pressure off both of you as individuals-22 years is a long time-no one will know you better than you know eachother.
So it seems that the thing thats causing you the greatest worry is the prospect of losing your home.
I think it would be a good idea to move your thread from here into a forum where there are lots of other members to give you more guidance and support.

**babybear39** · 25th March 2009 21:19

You took the most important step today, posting here and asking for help...

Things may seem daunting now but each account needs looking at individually not all together as this is overwhelming.

To move forward and tackle this you need to organise yourself and make a list of creditors noting progress of each one. To be able to do that all you need is a piece of paper and a few cheap files.

Once you know where everything stands you can come here and ask as many questions as you like, we'll always be here to support you.

Kindest wishes...BB

**Hopeful1** · 25th March 2009 21:43

Hi NWJ

I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling. So many of us have been there, there is hope, but you do need to take action. I had to manage my debt without my husband's support. I have found that if i presented him with hard facts and how each one needed to be managed he coped a lot better.

Are you incurring charges on your bank account? If so, i would consider setting up a new account of 'parachute account icon

' to have any monies you earn paid into. You can't afford to be wasting it on charges.

You will have lots of support on here, so keep posting

**nowayjose** · 25th March 2009 21:46

Thanks Martin and Babybear, Ill try to get some info together tomorrow and try to make sense of which debt belongs to which DCA icon

, its going to take a lot of sorting tho, I have already started a few threads already with first credit icon

and cabot. I thought a good idea would be to deal with each company when they send new demand so I knew where I was, a couple of companies I havent heard from for a few weeks, dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing.
I know I ll always get great advice on here and I know there are others in a worse situation than me, I just feel totally drained today, perhaps I ll feel a bit stronger tomorrow.

Thanks for your support
NWJx

**nowayjose** · 25th March 2009 21:50

Hi Hopeful, no my Abbey icon

account is now closed, and I am being chased by DCA icon

for the balance outstanding, I opened a Step account with Natwest icon

last year and they have since offered me a Current Account with a cheque book, so my wages go in there and since opening I havent incurred any charges so I suppose thats a good thing.
Thanks for your support,

NWJx

**Mr lex** · 25th March 2009 21:54

Hi NWJ,

You are getting great advice here. I think, if you can, you should try and sit down with your husband while you write out your DCA icon

list. It might help bring the proplems you are facing on your own at the moment, to his full attention.

Thinking of you,

Lex

**MARTIN3030** · 25th March 2009 22:16

Am going to take a look through some of your other threads.
Aktive Kapital-are they still on your case ?
Paul asked a couple of questions there-these are important to determine the validity.Is there any way AK had your sig ?
Also they should have sent a notice of assignment-I dont think you got this back with your CCA?

Something else which I feel is important in dealing with the DCAs-have you got a copy of your credit files ?
For 2 quid its well worth it and should show who is responsible for what-and that those who should not be chasing are told so.

**nowayjose** · 25th March 2009 22:17

Yes Lex I know your right, but my hubby likes to sort out a prob when the s**t hits the fan, and then its usually me that sorts it, Ive got a file and some polypockets so Ill try and organise them tomorrow, thanks Lex
I will let you know how I get on.

**nowayjose** · 25th March 2009 22:21

Martin, Ak are still on my case, cant remember how far Ive got, Im confusing myself I will look in the morning now, I always thought it was a bad idea to get a copy of your credit file, I thought it alerted the DCA icon

, am I wrong?

**MARTIN3030** · 25th March 2009 22:21

I see that you are also looking to do a hardship claim with Abbey icon

-can you say how thats going-that 2k should come in handy for you.

**MARTIN3030** · 25th March 2009 22:24

Your credit file will give you all you need to know to begin sorting out who is who in relation to your debts-they will be recorded.In view of the issues that you have it will be in no way any negative in getting them-in fact its essential.

**MARTIN3030** · 25th March 2009 22:26

If you want any of your threads merging to make things easier to deal with then just ask any site team member.
I see theres a few but dont know which are associated.

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