Thread: Child maintenance problem.

Apologies if this is a bit off topic for this forum but I am trying to get some information to help a friend and wondered if anyone on here had experience in this field.

My friend is divorced and has 2 children. Her husband left her for another woman. She has stayed in the family home and with help from her parents has just paid him a lump sum so he can come off the mortgage. To manage the mortgage she has had to get a second part time job.

He has been paying her 400 a month for the 2 children. This was an ammount he agreed during the divorce but it is not through the CSA. He is self employed and has stated that his income is far less then it really is. He has also funded his new girlfriends business and bought her a shop. As the business is 'in her name' he claims to have no income from that either. Whilst he was married to my friend his earning were 3 times what he says he earns now although he is still doing the same work!!!

Now the real problem- his girlfriend has just given birth to thier child. Becaus of this he says he can no longer afford the 400 a month and is going to cut it down to 300. If he does this then my friend cannot afford to keep the house as she wil not be able to afford the morgage payments even with both part time jobs.

Would she be wise to go to the CSA or may this worsen things?
Does he not have a responsibility to keep a roof over his childrens heads?

Something I think may further complicate things (although I havnt mentioned this to my friend yet) - he has the children to stay with him one night a week, although he does not take them to his new home. he takes them to a relative as his new girlfriend wont make them welcome. Someone said that if he has them 52 nights of the year or more he can reduce the payment by a 7th, is this correct.

She really dosnt know which way to turn, she has just been so relieved that she has managed to buy him out so she can stay in the house, (he screwed her to the ground with this as well by refusing 2 offers and only agreeing to a settlement figure which was based on the value of the house 12 months ago!) now shes back to square one because he wants to reduce her money.

Can anyone advise please. Many thanks.

Thats very true!

Having looked a bit more into it I dont think there is much she can do. Whats made it worse is that he knows she has just taken a second job so that she can afford to take over the mortgage and now she wont be able to make the monthly payments. She wanted to keep the house on so it would minimise the effect of the split on the children. Her family have helped her get the money together so she can pay him his share. Thats also hurts a lot because he had refused 2 offers and held out for more than she could afford to give him and then as soon as he gets the lump sum from her he pulls the plug on the maintenence.

I dont understand how people can be like this, he loved her once, enough to have 2 children and now by doing this hes not only hurting her but also the children. Its not as if she has a big house and could downsize, especially in todays climate. Shes in often in tears because she cant afford extra treats for the kids and just to add insult to injury he has only moved round the corner and has just bought both himself and the girlfriend a new car each.

What a complete rat!!!

i would think long and hard before going to csa my daughter first went to them in march 08 and her first payment was dec 08 there are no hurry to help you

You can look on the site and they will tell you how much he will have to pay, but £30,000 only pays about £300 per month for 2 children via the CSA, so she won't be any better off and could well lose money and her ex may then feel he is being chased and react badly.

She needs him to put it in writting so he can't take even more off the amount he pays. Also tell him he will need to take the children more in the holidays due to her needing to work. Make him realise that the £100 less per month will cost him his time and effort. Maybe he could also be asked to by clothing for school uniforms and such to help out,so that he is still paying towards the children.

Hi,

This sounds eerily similar to my situation - my ex partner has not paid a penny towards my son and the CSA were a nightmare - however this is not helped by the parents out there that are not very forthcoming with the CSA on employment details etc. My ex is also self employed and claims he is not working - I however know he is working and either being paid in cash or money is going direct into his girlfriends account - I supplied this information to the CSA in November 2007 when they took him at his word and decided as he was 'unemployed' he would have to pay ZERO! I mean who is unemployed and does not claim benefit???

Anyway it's a long story but after months of ringing the CSA who did bugger all I went to my MP who took up my case for me - lo and behold within 2 weeks they had caught my ex out and discovered him working. I was given a back dated judgement but now my ex is refusing to pay. He has been taken to court by the new incarnation of CSA CMEC and the next step is removal of his driving licence and passport.

Self Employed people can hide a lot of their income so I would think she may end up with even less than the £300 he is offering. I would say if she agrees to this to get an agreement clearly written out - so if he has another baby with his girlfriend it doesn't go down again.

OMG that sounds just like the rat i married! Moved in with his g/f quit his job so he didn't have to pay any money for his son and doesn't claim any benefits! CSA said he doesn't have to pay anything at all as his income is £0! However i know for a fact he does cash in hand jobs, just can't prove it and I do have my suspicions that the reason he is not claiming is to protect her widows pension she is getting but i have no proof
CSA are a waste of time in my opinion but if you do come to an agreement without them, make sure it is drawn up by a solicitor!

what comes around goes around,my eldest is 21,im only just getting payments from my ex (via csa), after years of being fobbed off,baliffs are going in shortly and im happy about that,when i lived off a bag of spuds a week (no joke) so my baby could eat well and he partied the csa ordered him to pay £5 per month his words were thats the way the cookie crumbles,well now im finally getting paid and ill give every penny to my daughter like he should have done in the first place the loser,chin up hun what comes around goes around x

I am in very similar situation. I spoke to the CSA who said their hands were tied, as if the inland revenue have excepted his returns then they have to go by that. How-ever....they did tell me to call the Inland Revenue annonamously and tell them that he was lying about his income. They would then investigate him, and if they are able to prove he is lying, then your friend should be able to get some child maintenance. They would also look at things like new cars etc aswell as put survailance on him to prove things. It is not a guarentee but it is worth a shot. I have been and still am going through hell to get some support for my child. I work fulltime whilst my childs father spends more than I earn a week in the pub each weekend. I do not expect to be kept or live in luxury on the expence of my ex. All i want is whats fair. And whilst my ex drives around in her Merc, and lives the life of riley, he thinks it is fair to pay me £10.00 a week for our child. That dosent even pay for 2 days lunch money and bus fair to school. Sorry......Rambling on a bit there,.

Good luck and tell your friend she has nothing to loose by giving the Inland Revenue a call.

As a divorced dad with two children, I fully support everything that you can do to make a dad pay for his children. Keep a record of all your efforts so when the kids are old enough to understand you can explain to them.
If he thinks time with them is valuable to him then then cut down on this, but it may give you more of a headache and cost you more.
Have not been involved with the CSA and I hear good and bad things. Like every government organisation they have their rules and regulations and the governemnt does not give enough help for them to do a good job.
Good luck.

Please advise and help.
I temporarily left my house due to my safety and my wife’s abnormal behaviour later she changed the locks!!! I bought the house before marriage and still the sole owner – she never worked after marriage. Although I am not living in the house but still paying for mortgage, council tax, service charges, ground rent etc for this house where she and my children are residing – in addition to the rent I am paying for my separate accommodation – which I just found for the interim to put few of my belongings but literally I am homeless at the moment!
The matter is now in court as I have filed for the divorce.
I am also paying for bank loan and personal loans I borrowed to buy the house (before marriage) and then to remortgage the house (during marriage).
My salary has now reduced too (salary sacrifice by increasing pension contribution – scheme provided by employer).
CSA has asked me to pay a huge sum each week – as a matter of fact, I wont be able to pay what they have asked as I simply wont have the money for this!!
I am already struggling to meet my living hence going to more and more debts each month by differing the rent or loan etc.
Should CSA not consider the loans I am paying and my Income Vs expenses?
Should they not consider the rent I am paying in addition to the mortgage, council tax, service charges, ground rent etc for the house which I solely own and where my children & wife are residing?
Should they not recalculate based on revised lower salary?
Should they not consider that I am now homeless?
She they not consider if I can prove my wife’s reckless spending habits and ask to either provide everything myself or ask to see invoices at month end.
My wife’s sister did exactly the same and they have a history of these cons – I am just another victim.
Any help or any advise will be really appreciated.
Thanks

Well I've been trying to get child maintence of my ex for 11 years and still got no were with it, I phoned up today and the case has been taken to the baylifts... I'm still close to his sister and dad and they said he's only got him self to blame as he walked out on me when the twins were 18months old and married someone else and had 3 other kids with her.
He got his house repossed last year because he owe's out alot of money and I feel guilty because he's got these little kids who don't deserve an arse of a father, The twins last saw there dad on there 3 birthday and when they were 11. They went to stay with him and they were ringing me on there mobiles to come and pick them up as there house was a sespit, after that they never wanted to go back.
I've saved and saved money just to survive, its been hard on my own and fineally a met someone married him and have a beautiful baby boy, he has made me strong again and he's told me to keep on fighting until I fineally get my kids maintence. I feel for every mother who has to face this as I've been though it for so many years and maybe more years to come, they are 14 now and when they reach 18 all my child benifits for them will stop, dose this meen I'll never see my kids money, it makes me sick to my stomach.

Ive also noticed a lot of pwc threads have a nrp hijack with their experiences, comments of why go to csa seem to fall on deaf ears that relationships sometimes mean the two parties cant communicate anymore, I notice often this is labelled as pwc must be at fault.

If both sides pwc and nrp could talk without falling out on forums it could be quite constructive. Each case is different.

You see when I was first introduced to csa I had just gone on benefits due to no other way of supporting us. They came round and gently made it clear I had to fill in these forms, now I had no problem with that, but a lot of people due to untill recently pwc got mainly nrp put the pwc down as resentful etc because the claim did not make much difference to person on benefits. As in drop it or say you had affiar to help me and kid not mine

Now the money paid from nrp is fully given to pwc without deduction and makes a big difference to the children. So nrp will probably have to find better reason to call us bitter xx

I personally am one of the lucky ones treat with respect by csa and dwp as to my position, so why would I lie to the csa to benefit an adulterer and wife beater.