Thread: I can't bear this..

Hi there..

I need to get this all down, it feels like my head is swimming with it all and I'm feeling so run down and ill, I don't know what to do. Where to start?

1. I'm in alot of debt. Credit card debts, arrears on gas and electricity, council tax arrears, owe money to family, owe money to friends..
2. My personal bank account is over the overdraft limit and has been for months. I don't use it apart from to transfer the money to pay off the charges when I can - I'm getting charged over £100 a month on there. I rely on my business bank account for everything and it's currently £60 overdrawn with no authorised overdraft so the charges are mounting up on that one too. Ie. I have no money.
3. I have no income. I have a small business and a little shop. I did well over Christmas but not well enough, and everything has gone already on business expenses. Yesterday I didn't have one customer through the door. Today I made a few sales but I owe money to people I have sold goods for on sale or return so I have to save all the cash for this. It was only £30.00 today.
4. I can't afford food. I also filled my car with petrol yesterday but once that's gone it's gone. I travel 60 miles a day for work. I have a big multipack of crisps at work that I bought ages ago and I've been living on those.
5. I wrote to my creditors (credit cards) last week and offered £10.00 a month. One has replied asking for income and expenditure listing before they can accept. One has replied asking me to make a f&f settlement before going to a debt collection agency. The other hasn't replied yet. Two out of the three have banked the cheques though. I have no money left so won't even be able to keep up the payments.
6. My partner is a temp earning minimum wage. He was offered a permanent job 4 months ago but they are making every excuse possible not to give him a contract.
7. I have a £600 outstanding bill connected to my business. I've offered them £50 a month. I'm worried I won't be able to afford this next month unless I make some more sales.
8. My car tax is due at the end of the month.
9. We're fighting with our previous letting agency for return of the deposit. It's over £1000. The letting agency is blaming me for causing a damp problem which we complained about when we first moved in, and are generally being very rude. They have also said I was in breach of tenancy agreement as I have a business, but they did know about this from the start.
10. Our boiler is broken and most days we have to have cold showers. Our landlord was going to come and look at this but has been waiting for a part since before new year.
11. Today somebody broke into part of my shop. They can't get into the actual shop but I'm very scared about the security there now. I reported it to the police and have to go back in the morning so they can send an officer around. It appears that someone has sawn off the lock. Whoever it was also urinated on the floor. I will need to replace the lock but with what money?!

I got up this morning and was getting ready for work when I started crying like a baby. I feel like such a failure. I've worked so so hard on this business over the past year, harder than I've ever worked for anything. My boyfriend keeps telling me that I need to relax and I'm going to burn out as I keep stressing about everything, but I just can't see a way out right now.

Thank you for reading if you have got this far.. I hoped writing it all out would help but I don't feel that much better! I'm going to go and do some work now to try to take my mind off things. If anyone has any advice about anything it would be gratefully received.

xx

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aww i really know how u feel have u tried contacting the citizens advice they are brilliant and will help u and write to ur creditors for u am in process of doing this..
really wish i could help more but i feel sick every mornin with worry but u will sort it u just need the right advice...

Thanks gloworm,

No I haven't contacted citizens advice. I contacted them probably about a year ago before my boyfriend got his temp job when we didn't have any food or anything, but they weren't very much help. I was trying to see if we were eligible for any benefits. The claiming process seems so complicated, but it's something I will have to tackle very soon because of the council tax arrears.

I'm glad I've found these forums.. it's horrible to read of the troubles so many people are experiencing, but it also helps a little to know that I'm not alone.

xxx

I'm no expert but I have floated around this site for a long while now and the advice here is second to none.

I think everyone will advise you first and foremost to list your debts here so people can advise.

List Credit cards - who with, how much , how old (how long have you been with them)
Loans - as above - detail secured and unsecured.
Hire purchase?

Your priorities are council tax, Utilities and food - everyone else can whistle until you have sorted those.

There is light at the end of the tunnel - stick around here and you will feel empowered to take these debts on - believe me.

List the debts - no one will be judgemental at all - no one will ask how/why you got into debt but those in the know will need to see/understand to be able to advice you correctly.

Good luck - we are all in this together and dare I say it - we are slowley winning!

Hi Purple Person, feel for you sweetie. I was under a lot of stress myself 6 years ago and ended up having a Breakdown. Was working full-time a midnight to seven shift for a solicitors in London had a 45 mile drive home. I was trying to look after two young children during the day, surviving on 2-3 hours sleep a day. I even started studying for a degree. Must've thought I was a machine. The father's children was an alcoholic and life was grim. One night I went to work and started crying and didn't stop for weeks. I couldn't write, I couldn't eat, I couldn't understand what people were saying to me. I'd just overloaded and that was it. I was very ill for a long time taking antidepressants, mood stabilisers, sleeping tablets, sessions with psychologists etc. Eventually I realised that had I asked for help when I first started to need it instead of battling on alone I wouldn't have had a breakdown. I was so weighed down but had always been a strong person and thought if I asked for help I'd be a failure. I separated from the childrens father which cost me £30k in legal fees as it was so acrimonious but my fantastic group of friends got me back on my feet. I still have ups and downs and when things start going to down hill I'll go back on my tablets for a couple of months until things pick up.

You'll have amazing support on hear. I'm dealing with about £65k of debt and sometimes wonder if I'll have the diesel to get the kids to school and I thank God for their free school meals. I've been tackling 15 credit/store/bank claims since October and have had made a nice headway into them all. Unfortunately I have a separate debt which isn't covered by the Consumer Credit Act and the creditor is applying for a charging order on my house. My solcitor has advised bankruptcy but we're not now sure if this can be done due to an interim charging order that's already been put on the property. I really don't want to go down the bankruptcy route as I've gone from feeling very low and dispirited about my debts to empowered after finding CAG. With all the information gleaned on CAG I'm starting to enjoy the battles with the banks and look at them as a challenge. I'll miss all that if I go bankrupt. Once you become more knowledgeable in the field you'll have the confidence to tell these creditors where to go.

With regard to your landlord if it was applicable at the time and he didn't lodge your deposit with one of the three deposit protection agencies he legally has to pay you compensation of 3 months deposit I believe as his forfiet for not lodging your deposit.

Well, if I go bankrupt due to the rotten charging order I will have time on my hands and will gladly help you in anyway I can. Hang in there flower, it does get better, I promise.

Hi Purpleperson.
I just wanted to offer my support because you sound so desperate. You will survive this.
I speak from an expert vantage point
3 years ago my husband and me had to throw in the towel and ask for help. We went to the Consumer Credit Counselling Service (free advice) and we were £84000 in debt.

My husbnad died tragically last year and let me tell you, debt is not the worst thing that can happen in your life even though it feels like it at the time.

The people on this site will help every step of the wa. It is scary but just keep asking for advice.
I still have bad days when it all seems too much but I am still here and I can afford to eat!!
Make sure you look after you and your husband first and let your creditors go whistle. Like previous people have said...priority debts first and sort the others after.
They can't have what you haven't got.

Wow, I'm overwhelmed by all your replies, thank you so much for taking the time to write them!

Bookworm, your advice is great, thank you. I do have a parachute account but I don't use it yet, simply because I have no income to put into it! The problem I have with my overdrawn personal bank account is that it's with the same bank as I do my business banking with, so I don't want to start trying to claim back the charges etc in case it affects my business account, which I'm sure it will, as they usually close your accounts don't they? I've tried to change bank accounts for my business buy I was declined a different account, and I also have a merchant account (card processing machine) which would be expensive to cancel because of the lease. I hope that makes some sort of sense!

Re the letting agents, the deposit is registered with the dispute service, and I'm just waiting for one more reply from the agents to my last letter where I sent them proof that they knew about my business and had said that it was ok, plus a surveyors letter regarding the damp, confirming that we're not responsible for a structural problem. Will see what they say then I will ask the dispute service to deal with it.

I've been to the police this morning about the break in, next job is to call the landlord of the shop and find out who is responsible for repairing the door.

My boyfriend had a couple of pounds in his wallet so he gave them to me so I could buy some lunch today. That was really sweet of him. We had a silly argument this morning too. I think I'm scared that I will lose him too as everything else seems to be going wrong. I can't buy food on a credit card as all of the accounts have been closed now.

I contacted payplan last year, but they were unable to help me with a payment plan through them as my income wasn't enough to live on. They advised me to contact my creditors and offer £1.00 a month, and they said they would support me. All of my creditors refused and then payplan didn't return my calls when I called to ask them what to do next!

nuthatch, I'm so so sorry to hear that you lost your husband. My situation has been going on for a while, and towards the end of last year my Dad was diagnosed with cancer. As soon as I found out about that, nothing else mattered at that time, so I do know what you mean. That's something I should try to hold on to as well, when everything gets on top of me.

I'm about £300 in arrears with the electricity and gas. I set up a budget plan where I'm supposed to pay £50 per month but I've missed two months so will owe £150 this month. That's to pay the charges and the arrears I think.. I'm not sure..

misscynical I'm sorry to hear about your Breakdown, sounds like you were under so much pressure it was inevitable That's how I got into this situation really. I put myelf under so much pressure, working full time plus setting up my business to support myself and my boyfriend as he was out of work for a year. Then it all went wrong and I got signed off, and my income went down to just SSP, then one month I got nothing because they had overpaid me. My other half didn't work so of course thats when I started being unable to pay all the bills, and that's how this started. It has just spiralled now, as even though we both work, we just don't earn enough, especially me. I couldn't go back to my job because of the depression, that's why I started my own business, rather than go onto benefits.

I'm going to be writing all day if I don't stop soon, but thank you so much again for your replies.

Purpleperson you sound such a caring person and your story is very like mine.
Have you spoken to National Debtline? They can often help when Payplan and CCCS can't.
You can do your own debt management Plan..I did one many many years ago.
Remember the only bills you have to pay as a prioority are your rent, council tax and utilities.
The banks can jump up and down as much as they like.
Start your bank charges reclaiming..it won't really matter because the banks will just keep piling charges on and eventually close them. I haven't got any advice about your business debts but National Debtline have a section that deals with that as well.
I think your brain is on overload.
If you get horrible phone calls change your telephone number....we did and it was bliss or use the template letter on CAG to tell them to stop.

Good luck.

Thank you nuthatch x

I haven't spoken to National Debtline, I will have to give them a call. My main issue is the income, because it's not as though I have any income to distribute to creditors or utilities people, I'm not making any money at the moment. I'm in work right now, sitting in a lovely shop, and I haven't had anyone come through the door all morning.

The business itself isn't in debt apart from that one £600 bill I mentioned, oh and the unauthorised overdraft of £60 right now. It's just that my business banking is with Lloyds, as is my pesonal banking, and I don't want them to close down my business account.

Amazingly, I haven't had any phone calls from dcas for the past week! It's very strange, it's since I sent those letters. Although I haven't had a reply from Barclaycard/Mercers, they have also stopped calling me. They didn't stop calling last time I wrote to them though.

I agree that my brain is overloaded, so much so that I'm not really dealing with anything, rather just stressing about it all instead!

Thanks for your reply Mkandy.

I managed to get myself feeling more positive this afternoon, then I got home to a letter from my business manager to tell me my debit card has been blocked. Apparently they have tried to contact me but I haven't received any messages. As I said, the phone has been very quiet this week. (No it hasn't been cut off, personal calls and texts are still getting through!) Cue floods of tears again and apologising to my boyfriend for being a failure. I called the number on the letter and they said I have to call back on Monday morning and speak to my business manager.

Closing the shop. It's crossed my mind, but I'm in contracts for my card processing machine and my business broadband which i need to keep paying, if I cancel I have to pay the entire contract in one go. I've only been open a few months and people are just starting to know about me, if I was to close I would lose my few regular customers too, and it would look really bad. But it might have to come to that I suppose.

I know how my business account got into such a mess, it was me trying to start paying off debts. The £10.00 cheques I sent to my credit card providers, plus a £40 cheque to readers union to get their DCA off my back (although it bounced, I would have been better off not paying it), then my quarterly (I hope it's quarterly!) direct debit to BT for the business line etc.. it all took me overdrawn by £60.00. Now they have added a £70 charge on top for the bounced cheques. And there are more cheques out there which will also bounce. I have a little bit of cash in the til now, but I can't pay it into the bank as I need it for petrol to get to work next week, and to pay someone who I owe for sale or return goods.

I've got a few big orders hopefully on their way which will help, I need to keep focused on work so I can do these. That's what got me through today, focusing on work. I love my job, and I don't mind that I work almost every waking hour, I just wish my business was working. I'm not so sure it is, and to close my business would mean going bankrupt, as I would have to pay to get out of contracts.

I can't do anything about my bank charges yet, but I guess I can start looking at the credit cards, as I am unable to carry on with my £10.00 a month offer - look at where that has got me! I knew I couldn't afford it but I still posted those cheques, and now I'm in an even worse mess!!

Thanks Goldlady. I definitely run my business for love rather than money! The business has been running for just over a year, and I expanded into a retail premises just a few months before Christmas. Strangely enough, my opening day was the day before the 'global recession' hit the headlines. It was never going to be easy after that!

I'm glad to hear that your business survived. When I'm not too busy despairing of eveything I do have some confidence in my business, and I'm willing to work as hard as it takes. If hard work will even get me through at the moment. I run an art/craft/gift shop. Started up, as I think I've said in my ramblings, after I had to give up my job due to depression. The love of my work got me through that, so it's very special to me, more than just a job. (Although isn't a job supposed to earn you money by definition?)