Thread: Feeling Down

I hope this is ok; I don’t really have anyone I can confide in (re our financial situation) and feel that I need to un-bottle my feelings so to speak.

After a year of grief from Creditors and DCA‘s, Mr Z wants us to sit down on Boxing Day and have a talk about our way forward!

This talk will include the option of bankruptcy! Now, if I’m truthfully honest that scares the hell out of me. It’s getting to the stage where Mr Z says we are "just existing" and he gets very concerned about how it’s affecting me. He knows I want to fight it and due to him being at work, I mainly deal with the correspondence and posting on the forums. I will admit, I do want to fight for our legal rights – but there are days when I feel that I have no fight left in me!

We did a lot of research earlier on in the year (pre CAG) so we have a good idea of what to expect.

Obviously, we understand that by going down this route it could potentially be a bl**dy minefield.

This is how I perceive going bankrupt:

The pro’s being we can start afresh with a clean slate so to speak.

The cons:

Mr Z could lose his job.

We could lose our house due to either the OR saying renting would be a cheaper option or because Mr Z has lost his job.

How our credit ratings are affected by going BR doesn’t bother either of us because:

• It’s already shot through anyway
• We won’t ever take on credit again

Thanks for reading

Mrs Z

Similar Threads:

• Feeling overwhelmed!!

Flying doc is right, bankruptcy is something when all other avenues have been closed. This site and the peeps on here can help you loads. Have you been to see the Citizens advice bureau? also a company, which I think is called debtline can help you for free. It is great once you realise you still have plenty of ammunition to fight back.

Why will your husband loose his job if you go bankrupt?

Just to say keep your chin up. It is so hard to face these problems but you have loads of support on here and you will get through it.

Mrs Z

and Mr Z

i wish you both the best of luck for 2009,,, and that you stay here and keep the battle going once, you have had a good talk on boxing day, you may decide its been too much and bankruptcy is your only option, only both of you know that,

however, i felt a little lost at the beginning of the year, and once id refound CAG ive been fighting for my rights because we do have them, we are just initially made to feel, we are outcasts because we owe money, my attitude has changed dramatically since early part of this year, yes there are days i think my god ive got my first default, and this time last year, i can remember today i got a call from MBNA who threatened all sorts and ruined my christmas and i was almost suicidal.

Now a year on, i know what i went through last christmas and from somewhere within me, today i realised, i have nothing to lose but to keep fighting by learning every day something new to keep me afloat emotionally and financially. With the help from these wonderful people who give their knowledge for free and their support i know i can somehow get through next year.

Someone said whats the worst, they take you to court and IF YOU SHOULD LOSE and the judge will award a ccj, and you pay back what you can afford to pay - should they try a charging order, i would fight it and as long as the ccj is being paid, there is always a defence for a charging order to be put aside anyway,

I would still have that chat on boxing day, decide

what exactly is the problem with each creditor - have you requested a cca for each, have you requested a sars for each, can you reclaim charges, etc,

i would try and choose each battle that you can try and win, some maybe you cant do anything other than pay as they have an enforceable agreement and they maybe accept a lower amount for the time being,

others are blatently obvious that you could fight and win, so choose those to get good advice on and tackle as much as you can to win the case

i cant think of anything else but i just wanted to say, hang in if you can and let everyone try and help with snippets along the way and hopefully next year this time , you just may have resolved all and be in a positition to help others from your own experiences and successes

Good luck and ive subcribed just to keep supporting you

laters angel x

Originally Posted by Misterzeus

After a year of grief from Creditors and DCA‘s, Mr Z wants us to sit down on Boxing Day and have a talk about our way forward!

This talk will include the option of bankruptcy! Now, if I’m truthfully honest that scares the hell out of me. It’s getting to the stage where Mr Z says we are "just existing" and he gets very concerned about how it’s affecting me. He knows I want to fight it and due to him being at work, I mainly deal with the correspondence and posting on the forums. I will admit, I do want to fight for our legal rights – but there are days when I feel that I have no fight left in me!

You need to agree what you are going to do. you have seen what people here can and do do on a regular basis and you can do the same, all of the information and support is here as and when you need it. As long as you are together in what you are doing you will win the odd off day doesn't matter .

To do that you need to look at what you have.

First is Mr Z's job, you need to protect that no matter what because thats how you can afford to live from day to day.

Next is your house, have you thought of a sell and rent back option? I'm not sure how the figures stack up on these plans but its worth a look and would get rid of the mortgage and possibly free up some capital.

Finally you need to evaluate exactly what you owe and rate it... if you owe the government (tax etc) try to get it paid they don't mess about and there are very few arguments that work

The rest of your debts should fall into the "normal" category here dispute the add on's and any CCA violations and confirm those disputes prohibit them from collection... but try to pay off any money you have actually used, even if its at a silly rate like £5 a month even if they don't agree with you they cant say your refusing to pay .

and good luck

Good afternoon, Mrs Z here.

I would like to say a great big thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you that have posted in reply to my thread. It truly has helped me to try to put things into perspective!

flyingdoc:

Thanks for your reply

We are in the process of trying other routes rather than bankruptcy. We have several threads on the forum concerning various creditors/DCA’s and we are currently trying to fight an impending CCJ.

We have 9 creditors, 1 trying to get a CCJ, 3 are given token payments, the rest have been sent CCA requests and they are at various stages. We don’t get phone calls – only letters as most didn’t have our number when we moved house (took BT a month to connect us). The one creditor that did have our number finally stopped after we had sent 3 harassment letters.

Yes, of course you’re right; there is the distinct possibility that one or more creditors may take the option to force bankruptcy on us. This is one of the reasons we are having the discussion on Boxing Day. Mr Z is quite methodical and worries that if we wait until that (if it) happens, we won’t have had time to save up some funds in case we need to rent etc.

We have seen off a few DCA’s over the past few months with the help of CAG! I guess it’s the unknown that is concerning both of us really.


hilaryfrances:

Thanks for your reply

I agree with you that bankruptcy should be a last resort really, that’s why I’m so indecisive about going down that road. Mr Z spoke to someone from the National Debtline back in January and a few times after. They were very good and when he told them about the CAG, they said that a number of people had said they got information and advice from the CAG members.

It’s not definite that Mr Z would lose his job through going BR, but if he did and someone on his staff reads the local paper and sees the BR notice, we think he would be asked to leave. He only started the job in July, but is responsible for large sums of money. We both expected that he would have had to be credit checked for the job but luckily only a basic criminal check was required.

fedup74:

Thanks for your reply and I will certainly try to keep my chin up!
angel 1:

Thanks for your reply

Yes, things are coming to a head I think.

Perhaps I should briefly explain: Some years back, Mr Z left a job he hated and we started up a business from home using equity from the house we owned at that time. Sadly it didn’t work out and around 6 months before we moved to our present abode (been here almost 2 years) I was in a very dark place for a while and I was trying to convince myself that Mr Z would be better off without me.

Anyway, a few weeks back we were talking and Mr Z said he couldn’t understand why people take their lives because of debt. Before I knew it, I had told him how I had felt before we moved; the look of sheer disbelief on his face will stay with me forever! He told me that he would have “followed” me by driving over a cliff! I’ve told him that I know now how irrational to think like that was, but I think that may be at the back of his mind.

We have been married for almost 35 years and we love each other very much – which makes it seem all the more strange how I felt at that time! Anyway, I don’t feel anywhere near that bad these days thanks to the CAG and its great members.

Sorry, that was a bit longer explanation than I had planned.


Personally, I think that I would like us to carry on fighting for our rights, for now at least!

We will have that talk on Boxing Day and try to make some decisions. At the end of the day, we need to come to some kind of solution that we are both happy with.



goldlady:

Thanks for your reply

I must admit, your post gives me great encouragement to carry on fighting, especially as in your case you managed to avert BR! We will stick together, no worries there, as I said in angel’s reply, we love each other very much! I often say how we “grew up” together – getting married at 17 and 18, lol!!


zooman:

Thanks for your reply
We will come to some kind of agreement – we have to! Mr Z has always maintained that we have each other and no one can ever take that away from us!

I’ve said about the worry of Mr Z’s job in hilaryfrance’s reply, so won’t bore you with it again.

Selling the house to rent back isn’t really an option really as typically these companies offer up to 30% lower value of the house. Sadly there is likely to be no equity, we bought 2 years ago next month (at its peak then). We would be left with a potential shortfall and could possibly (after researching) end up homeless after 6 months anyway. We would rather do a voluntary repossession than have that happen (saving the mortgage payments for rental), but thank you for your thoughtful suggestion!

Fortunately, all of our debt is unsecured (credit cards/loans) so owe nothing to the tax man or secured against the house.

I’ve said in flydocs reply about our current situation regarding creditors/DCA, so again I won’t bore you with it!!

Thank you all once again, it has helped me considerably to be able to say how I feel.

All of you have a Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year.

Mrs Z

hello again, well you are my shadow! We got married at the same ages as you and we were having the worst of our money worries when we had been married around 35 years as well. 5 years on we are virtually debt free and still married. Hang on in there you will win in the end. It will seem like a hopeless task at the moment I know but keep pluging away and pay off one debt at a time, this is what I did and just made token payments to the others. My last loan will finish in March 2009 as I said it does take time! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you.

We are in the same boat, although we don't even have jobs or a house to lose! How low can you get? LOL! We were looking at bankruptcy initially but decided to fight back against a situation which the banks got us into in the first place with their ridiculous charges and interest rates! Stay strong and have a good long read at the various threads relating to your own banks and be encouraged

If you have no equity in your house the the OR is unlikely to force a fire sale of it, it'd be pointless to do so. The mortgage provider gets first shout of the proceeds of sale which would all be gobbled up and your unsecured creditors would end up with bugger all. Best option is make sure Mr Z stays in his job so that future plans are sustainable, (that may mean sod the unenforceable debts or a dmp).

So the most important thing you have is Mr Z .... and his job

Good luck to you both

pete

hello again Mrs Z and Mr Z

thank you for your updates and i and my family wish you lots of happiness over the holidays and a very lucky 2009 to all of us

like you and others ive married my sweetheart and yes we have travelled this journey and grown together, and somehow we still are stuck together, which in itself is the best gift you can give each other

i feel sorry for the marriages that fall apart through money or whatever else when the couple are at different levels of understanding of their problems, so i have to say im thankful my hubby is with me with all this situation and i know that together we can get through this, like you guys who are married over 30 years it gives me hope i will reach that milestone, albeit still to get to 25 yrs but soon in 3 years,


i will chat later off to do a little bit of shopping for the next few days, we shall be warm and cosy - the phone is on silent and we will have a fun chilled few days and forget our worries for a while

keep happy guys, we can do this - hugs to you all

laters angel x

Feel glad that you are fighting this together. My marriage broke down 3 or 4 years ago (for different reasons) and he promised and even wrote on the divorce papers that he would pay any outstanding joint loans. Unfortunately he was not true to his word and I am now left with two children and no job and now two outstanding joint debts.

Keep your head up high and get through this together

Thank you all for your support

Well the talk on Boxing Day never happened as we were too busy trying to sort out an amended defence for the CCJ!

It won't be the end of it though and of course we will still need to have "that" talk, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we won't need to go BR!

Still, at the very least it helps me to post on here knowing that other people are in the same boat and can understand the feelings of apprehension.

So, thanks to all of you again and a Happy New Year.

Kind Regards

Mrs Z

Thank you Mrs Z

its all about knowing your rights, picking your battles carefully and choosing your friends to help you - wink wink

you know you can always come here for support and thats what we all have as a mutual help , it helps others too and what each of us are facing, we do know we are not alone, just imagine having to face this without CAG and its members, i think i would seriously be ill - i cannot thank my lucky stars enough that once id found CAG, i immediately started to feel so much better, and face things in a more positive manner

good luck and think lucky for 2009 and keep your dreams alive

laters angel x