Thread: Sorry but I need to say this

I am at the end of my tether and don't want to deal with things anymore - I am in constant tears and have to shut myself away from my children. In fact I am crying now. I have even told my children I want to move away just to get away from it all and have a new start but my youngest wants nothing of it.

I have 4 DCA's on the go. 1 I have sent a CCA to after finding out thru this site I can CCA them and if they come up with nothing I can stop paying - I knew this was an old one but thought it was paid off. 2/ an old joint loan and they came after me not my ex, thinking about CCA'ing in the new year as I have had no paperwork whatsoever on this. 3/ another joint debt for £9k - enforceable waiting to see if they will accept my offer (posting tomorow) and 4/ letter sent Sept for proof not statute barred but today received letter asking for £25/month ignoring the statute letter.

I don't know if I'm coming or going. My children want christmas at home and I don't know if I can cope on my own this year.

I just don't no what to do anymore and want to hide away but know this is a stupid thing to do.

Sorry just needed a rant as I have no shoulder to cry on. Its hard with all this going on when your a single parent and no money to even make a good christmas without having to deal with all this too

please dont feel you are alone,
i know how hard it is believe me,
one thing your kids need is you, you need to be healthy.
i am severely disabled and over the years have realised that money or lack of it makes you feel totally useless, but you are not, the most important thing you can give your kids is love and understanding, the more the better, look at your kids and realise just how lucky you are, you can make christmas special without expensive gifts, (last year we had beans on toast for our dinner) and loved it.
on christmas day just give your time to your kids, if they are young sit and make paper planes, or sit and colour with them, make it fun and as for your debts there is not a lot you can do now until after the xmas period.
i think this time of the year is very depressing for those of us who have not got support or a loving family and most people take so many things for granted
sending you hugs love you are not on your own xxx

just to add on to this i have 5 grandkids (ages 15, 14, 6 ,4 and 2) and i cannot buy them anything for christmas, i feel awful but they know i love and cherish them.

Thank you Skegleg. Thankfully I have been saving my spare change in a special pot (and any money my two children have found in the street) have given me some money for xmas so i know although they will not go without they will still have a few presents under the tree. We usually go to my parents for xmass but they have both asked to stay at home this year which is probably why I am feeling isolated even more as I know the family will not be around. They are both really good and don't expect much - they know a walk around town is just that, to get fresh air and not spending money - and they both constantly tell me they love me as I do them. I suppose with all these DCA letters I have suddenly starting receiving and knowing I cannot repay them quickly it has got me down even more and becuase of xmas being everywhere - earlier and earlier every year in the shops.

I have been talking to my children about renting a different house (if I can find somewhere that will let me on housing benefit) just so that we can feel like we are having a proper fresh start away from where we are now as it was this house that I split up with my husband and I don't feel that I can move on with my life either. The council aren't very helpful, been on the waiting list for 8 years and whenever I ring they just say I don't have a magic wand to get you a house! It's just so depressing I want to scream.

Still thank you for your kind words and lets hope the new year brings us a new start x

The first thing to remeber is that these accounts are non priority debts and the DCA's need to prove that any debt exists and that they have a right to collect. DCA's have no legal powers and the letters you are receiving are in no way personal to your situation - they are just the standard template bumph that these idiots automatically send out because the threatomatic says it's time to send another letter.

I know it's easier said than done but don't let these imbeciles get to you. You should treat them with the contempt that they deserve. they are nothing more than abunch of impotent bullies.

If you haven't already then start a thread for each of these accounts and you will receive lots of help and advice on your situation.

Enjoy Xmas and don't let these people spoil it for you. Really they are not worth it.

Originally Posted by studentatou

I am at the end of my tether and don't want to deal with things anymore - I am in constant tears and have to shut myself away from my children. In fact I am crying now. I have even told my children I want to move away just to get away from it all and have a new start but my youngest wants nothing of it.

I have 4 DCA's on the go. 1 I have sent a CCA to after finding out thru this site I can CCA them and if they come up with nothing I can stop paying - I knew this was an old one but thought it was paid off. 2/ an old joint loan and they came after me not my ex, thinking about CCA'ing in the new year as I have had no paperwork whatsoever on this. 3/ another joint debt for £9k - enforceable waiting to see if they will accept my offer (posting tomorow) and 4/ letter sent Sept for proof not statute barred but today received letter asking for £25/month ignoring the statute letter.

I don't know if I'm coming or going. My children want christmas at home and I don't know if I can cope on my own this year.

I just don't no what to do anymore and want to hide away but know this is a stupid thing to do.

Sorry just needed a rant as I have no shoulder to cry on. Its hard with all this going on when your a single parent and no money to even make a good christmas without having to deal with all this too

Hi, we were in this situation 3 years ago, I never thought things could get so bleak and I could not actually sleep at night with worry and really had no clue what to do. We had to disconnect the phone and we never opened the post. I then discovered CAG and found so many other people in the same boat or were fighting or had come through it all. Three years later and we are back on our feet, just Amex to deal with and that's it sorted. You will find lots of support here and hope, the dca's and original creditors are out to intimidate and bully you, read many other threads to see how low and despicable they can get since it will provide you with the energy to fight them.

Post up each individual debt and issue, there are experts here who have successfully fought each one (even Amex) and the scenarios have ranged from the very easy to the extreme in terms of legal argument and expertise. Just take it in baby steps and you will be back in control rather than being intimidated and harassed. Good luck!

Thanks. I have already got different threads going on but it was the latest that broke me. I mean how am I expected to pay off £9K, I will be sending this company a letter offering £1 a month (it is enforceable so its got to be done) but I just know they wont accept it. I offered this with a different loan two years ago and they pushed me to £5.00 and this loan is not even half the amount of this one. It just gets me that they come after me when I have no spare cash, blah blah blah and my ex is working full time and has the money to have sky+ installed, when he owed me, yet the DCA's refuse to go to him. When I have spoken to him about these debts he just shrugs his shoulders and walks away from me, the dca have not been in touch with him AT ALL and I have given them his address. I know he can pay it, yet on my own I will be paying it when I'm dead and buried

I assume you have no assets as you are renting. Is that correct?

Have you considered asking this creditor to make you bankrupt? Bankruptcy isn't necessarily a bad thing in your situation and by you asking your creditor to make you bankrupt they just might decide to pursue your ex instead of you.

Have a read here for more about bankruptcy and what it means http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk...ling-debt.html

I'm not saying it's right for you and you should certain speak to an organisation like the Nationaldebtline before deciding on it one way or the other.

Thanks for the vote of confidence Rory and Rooster. I have never considered bankruptcy - didn't even cross my mind to be honest. My ex was made bankrupt in 2006 and was cleared after 6 months. He originally told me these debts were included but after the statements I have received from the DCA it is clear it was not which p****d me off even more. The only thought I had was to look into how long it would be before they could chase him again so we could both pay. But it is something I will look into.

As for my children, like you said about a mast. They really are my strength at the moment and I couldn't live without them and they know I do everything I can for them

I am also about to start my third year studying law (believe it or not) and as a bankrupt I would not be able to become a lawyer - if my memory servies me correctly

He originally told me these debts were included

Joint debts won't have been included.

I am also about to start my third year studying law (believe it or not) and as a bankrupt I would not be able to become a lawyer - if my memory servies me correctly

I'm not sure about that. I know you can't be a director while you are bankrupt - although once you are released you are free to be a director again. Obviously that's something that you'll need to check on. You might want to give Nationaldebtline a phone on 0808 808 4000. They are open 9am to 9pm Monday to Friday and Saturday 9.30am to 1pm.

These debts are all joint - if they are not included I can't go bankrupt

On a lighter note - one DCA has sent me a letter saying they are having difficulty getting my CCA off the original creditor and have put my account on hold! We'll have turkey for xmas day

I am also about to start my third year studying law (believe it or not) and as a bankrupt I would not be able to become a lawyer

I had another look at that and you can't be a solicitor while bankrupt. I would imagine though that once you are discharged as a bankrupt you would be free to become a solicitor. Obviously you need to check this though.

These debts are all joint - if they are not included I can't go bankrupt

Sorry I should have made myself clearer. Joint debts, while listed in his bankruptcy petition, wouldn't be written off at the end of his bankruptcy because one of the parties (you) were not bankrupt. They can no longer pursue him because he became bankrupt and the debts were listed in it. If you became bankrupt then they would have to write the debts off.

Just over a year and a half ago, I was being beseiged by DCA's, then I had a triple bypass, the SH**S even tried phoning me in hospital (Totally illegal and the police told them so in very graphic terms) was out of work for 12 weeks but luckily, got my old job back. I discovered the vast and great goodness and help of CAG, and whilst I may not win them all, I have had a few successes, plus, it is a moral staisfaction in a) getting the few telphone calls that I take gibbering with impotent fury at being stonewalled at not answering the silly security questions, and repeating the mantra, " all communication is to be in writing only" at regular intervals. and b) d using the excellent template letters here to gut the stupid responses from the great unwashed
Take courage, many of use have been near the final edge, but it is not the end of the world. You may not win them all, but at the end of the day, it is not yet a hanging offence to be in debt although some of the reptiles seem to think that the Debtors Act repeal of imprisonment of 1865(?) has never been repealed
All the best, we still try and have a frugal Xmas, its quite fun really and I wish you and your Chs, a peaceful day together

Thanks for all the advice above, I must say you are making me feel better. I know there are people who are worse off than me, its the hounding they do that gets me down but I think I know what to do now. Just going to deal with things one day at a time and I am not going to open any of their post til after xmas - I have made my mind up on that!

Rory - I do not think the joint debts were even inc in his bankrupty. One statement I have shows the last payment as being in 2003. If it was included there would have been a few payments in 2006 at least (his bankruptcy only lasted 5 months anyway) and thank you for looking up about the solicitor. Its great to know my studying hasn't gone to waste if I go down this path. I am only studying part time so its going to take me another 4 years with the OU before I start at the College of Law. If I pass next years course I get a Diploma in English Law - I am really excited about that