Arrogant, rude & petty ticket inspectors - a solution

[chezsu]

As you will read on the various posts on this forum, many people feel aggrieved by unfair ticket inspectors on trains. Although I do think that fair evaders and should be punished, I also believe that most inspectors are rude, arrogant and very unfair. It appears they would rather fine you for an honest mistake rather than give you assistance whilst showing some common sense, humanity and compassion.

For me the final straw was when i was coming home from London Bridge late night on the last train. I tried to buy a ticket from the machines but they kept spitting out my final £1.00 coin. As I had no bank card and no ticket office was open that late, I was left with only one solution - to get on the train and hope for the best.

Unfortunately and typically as if it was planned, I got busted - and subsequently I was fined. My complaint and valid excuse fell on deaf, arrogant ears. How could I have been let down so badly??!!

Unfortunately there doesn't appear to be a solution for scenarios like this one and many other what I would call 'fair play cases' So what I am about suggest is so childish and small minded that it even makes me wet the bed (sic). However since adopting this little annoying trick, I rarely get even asked for my ticket now, plus I get a small sense of satisfaction every time I mislead an inspector.

The look on their face as they know I wont be being part of their daily target is worth it alone.

Here is what I do.

When asked for my ticket, if the inspector I proceed to search my pockets and then my bag... if the inspector says something smart or arrogant I get the plan fully underway. I suggest you carry on searching for your ticket then admit defeat. When the inspector talks down to you about fare evading and ignores your pleas for sympathy for an honest mistake he will write you out a ticket. Let him fill in all the details etc and when he asks you to sign the penalty form, miraculously find your ticket. Yes, you could have spent that 10 minutes more constructively but for the inspector it will be far worse!

[edited]

Ha Ha! Revenge is sweet. If you don't like it, get a more respectable job.

Anybody else got any good methods of dealing with such plant life?

[crh]

ROFL that's hilarious i'll definatly have to try that one

I saw the ticket taliban out in force today at clapham junction. There must of been ten inspectors with 5 transport police and a load of plastic coppers (PCSO's) in attendance too

The criminals must of had a good day today! I wonder if there's less paperwork invovled for knicking someone without a ticket than there is for catching a real criminal

[Esio Trot]

I have a friend who has always been a bit of a maverick. He has a laminated card that he produces to anyone in authority who might ask him for something, whether it be a traffic warden, inspector or anyone. I don't know the exact wording, but it goes something like this:

I am a devout follower of his holiness, the honourable Shi Labak Gujallah. To help me attain greater spirituality, I have become one of his devotees and have taken a vow of silence.

In addition, I have difficulty hearing English, but can understand written English easier. Please address all your comments to me in writing and I will happily respond likewise

I was sitting next to him on a London Transport bus (pretending not to know him), and it so funny I was having great difficulty suppressing hysterical laughter when an inspector asked to see tickets. You see when dealing with my friend the inspector would regularly forget and ask a question verbally, my friend would then just give a quissical non-comprehending look a bit like Manual with Basil in Fawlty Towers.

Without oral communication, there was a compete impasse.

[Theo Ccupier]

I too have a card carrying friend. He got stopped for erratic driving the other day and the police obviously suspected him of drinking and driving. He was first asked to blow into the machine, but gave a card to the copper with "Asthmatic. Unable to give breath samples."

OK, back to the nick and we'll get the doc to draw blood, says the copper. So he produces another card: "Haemophiliac. Unable to give blood."

Right, I take it you have no objection to a urine sample then, says plod. At which point my mate produces his trump card:

"Newcastle United supporter. Don't take the p!ss."

[chezsu]

That is classic. Although generally I can tollerate the police, unless they are pulling you over for doing 32mph...

With the ticket inspectors, my favourite station to pull the stunt is at London Bridge because the National Rail stations in the the South East that L.Bridge connects too will not accept Oyster PAYG and they are alway looking to catch people out who don't know any better.

Don't let them do it! For every inspector that in employed you could have set up an Oyster terminal to allow people to travel on PAYG instead of effectively charging them twice by making them buy an expensive rail ticket.

When you get off the train, move to the ticket (penalty!) booth on platform 8 and tell one of the jobs worth that you were told to come over here for a ticket because "he/she told me I didn't have one". Watch as their eyes light up and glee smacks their face as they issue you with a fine. As you already know when they have taken the 30 mins it takes them to issue your fine produce your 'golden ticket', thank them for their help and walk away with dignity.

TFL, National Rail we have your number and you have been sussed. We will not make your job easy.

[Mrs_Ryan]

Originally Posted by Theo Ccupier

I too have a card carrying friend. He got stopped for erratic driving the other day and the police obviously suspected him of drinking and driving. He was first asked to blow into the machine, but gave a card to the copper with "Asthmatic. Unable to give breath samples."

OK, back to the nick and we'll get the doc to draw blood, says the copper. So he produces another card: "Haemophiliac. Unable to give blood."

Right, I take it you have no objection to a urine sample then, says plod. At which point my mate produces his trump card:

"Newcastle United supporter. Don't take the p!ss."

I think you'll find the correct wording is actually Sunderland supporter

[chezsu]

I'm afraid you are both wrong. It should read 'Tottenham Supporter'.

[Mrs_Ryan]

I like

[Starscreamer]

Originally Posted by crh

ROFL that's hilarious i'll definatly have to try that one

I saw the ticket taliban out in force today at clapham junction. There must of been ten inspectors with 5 transport police and a load of plastic coppers (PCSO's) in attendance too

The criminals must of had a good day today! I wonder if there's less paperwork invovled for knicking someone without a ticket than there is for catching a real criminal

The ticket taliban are always in force in Manchester Oxford Road and Piccadilly as well. Also they are always patrolling the buses for people with fake passes or 15 year olds who get past the driver on busy routes. Well I am against fare evasion as it puts up prices for geniune customers, I do think that the Police are heavy handed. My friend got stabbed and the police were useless and the people responsible just got a slap on the wrist whereas I nearly got arrested for someone else giving my name after being fined on a tram.

[mc661]

Be Careful on this one.

There is an offence as "failure to show or present a valid ticket on demand to an authorised official".
If the inspector asks several times for your ticket and you play the game you are suggesting then he can still report you for breaking the bye-laws, ticket or no ticket.

also there is another offence.
"Failure to provide name and address on demand to an authorised official". This one can actually get you arrested.

I am myself one of these inspectors, now at the end of the day its a job, it pays the bills. I am one of the more relaxed ones and I do actually ask people what happened before making a decision. Ticket office closed? Let me make a phone call to confirm. Yep that's correct, single or return.
Machine broken okay, single or return.
But take the p**s and I will throw the book at you.

[maf91]

yes but a ticket will be produced... eventually.

so no laws or by-laws or any of that crap will be broken.

if your fellow ticket inspectors (including those here in glasgow) had a better attitude and did not act like wanna-be-cops who have sod all common sense and sympathy then people would maybe be a bit more helpful.

[mc661]

Originally Posted by maf91

yes but a ticket will be produced... eventually.

so no laws or by-laws or any of that crap will be broken.

if your fellow ticket inspectors (including those here in glasgow) had a better attitude and did not act like wanna-be-cops who have sod all common sense and sympathy then people would maybe be a bit more helpful.

Maybe a ticket will be produced "eventually" but the offence has still been committed.
Its kinda the same as wasting police time.
Now I usually see the funny side as long as I haven't started to write out the paperwork. Normally I will just walk past check the rest of the train and come back with a copper.

Here's the official law on it.
Railway Regulation Act 1840
"If any person shall wilfully obstruct or impede any officer or agent of any railway company in the execution of his duty upon any railway, or upon or in any of the stations or other works or premises connected therewith, or if any person shall wilfully trespass upon any railway, or any of the stations or other works or premises connected therewith, and shall refuse to quit the same upon request to him made by any officer or agent of the said company, every such person so offending, and all others aiding or assisting therein, shall and may be seized and detained by any such officer or agent, or any person whom he may call to his assistance, until such offender or offenders can be conveniently taken before some justice of the peace for the county or place wherein such offence shall be committed, and when convicted, before such justice as aforesaid, (who is hereby authorized and required, upon complaint to him to take cognizance thereof, and to act summarily in the premises,) shall, in the discretion of such justice, upon conviction by a magistrates’ court, at the discretion of the court, forfeit to her Majesty any sum not exceeding level 1 on the standard scale, £200 level 3 on the standard scale, and in default of payment thereof shall or may be imprisoned] . . .



I know the inspectors in ScotRail area are arrogant ive even seen one of them try and take away a managers pass!

[maf91]

You are defo right about Scotrail heckies bein arogant, although I will concede there are a few decent ones.

Its the ones who are similar to traffic wardens in that they think they have the authority of the police who I cannot stand. Mind you up here most people dont stand for any of their sh*te anyway

[Esio Trot]

Originally Posted by mc661

Maybe a ticket will be produced "eventually" but the offence has still been committed.

Here's the official law on it.
Railway Regulation Act 1840
"If any person shall wilfully obstruct or impede any officer or agent of any railway company in the execution of his duty upon any railway ...

But that's the beauty of the English language, especially when reading legal quotations.

When you have a person saying "I know I have a ticket, I just can't find it" whilst searching their pockets, in this scenario it would be impossible to prove any sort of wilfulness, even if you suspected it. Should legal proceedings ever take place over this issue, I'm sure the result would be not guilty, as it wouldn't be difficult to raise a reasonable doubt that the had been genuinely misplaced, was found in the end, and thus was not done to wilfully obstruct or impede.

[Mrs_Ryan]

The worst thing I ever saw was on the Tyne and Wear Metro (anyone who has read my other thread 'anyone else think this is disgusting?' will know Im not exactly their biggest fan

There were some passenger support officers (not quite inspectors but they can still check tickets) who were checking tickets, and this young Oriental girl (probably a student, she got on at the stop in the middle of a studenty-type area) and they asked to see her ticket. She began searching her handbag and became visibly more distressed as it became clear she could not find her purse. Her English wasnt great and she was in tears, trying to explain she thought her purse had been stolen. A group of about 4 or 5 (all males) surrounded her, were really heavy handed, didnt try to help her at all and threw her off at the next station, leaving her stranded.

That was unbelievable. But if you try and complain (again, see my other thread for the grief we've had with them) they close ranks and defend each other.

I had an interesting experience tonight though... I was on the train home from work (Notts to London St Pancras, I get off at Leicester) and the lady conductor came round checking the tickets, I was so engrossed in my phone I had to scrabble round in my bag looking for my purse, and located my pass eventually - but she gave me a sympathetic smile (as the lady ones usually do - the blokes just get impatient and roll their eyes) I showed her my pass and she said 'ok, thanks.' and as I was putting it away I realised I had last weeks at the fromt by mistake but she hadnt noticed! I did actually feel really bad so I showed her the right one as she passed by again but that just led me to wonder - do inspectors bother even checking the ticket properly half the time???

[maf91]

its the ones who shout up the carriage "have your tickets ready" who are best to wind up. they are clearly in a rush and so i find it best pretend to sleep and then basically act stupid until they lose their tempers, then produce the ticket.

[JrnyFan4Life]

I love winding up the TSO's (Travel Support Officers) on the Metro system:

TSO: "You got a ticket pass?"
Me: "Yes, thanks" and then proceed to walk through the barriers