Being Bullied by manager

[lexii]

I have worked for my current employer for 3 and a half years and 10 years in the NHS prior to that. Last summer I gained a new line manager who is new in her post, initially we got on great but over the course of the year our professional relationship has deteriorated significantly to the point where I no longer have any self esteem or confidence in my ability to do the job

We have had occasional disagreements over things where I have in my opinion always tried to be polite and suggest a different way of doing something but it seems my 'questioning' of her has now led her to say I have no respect for her as my manager.

In one phone conversation we had last November she told me my work was '****' and I told her that I felt this was unfair and that it would be better if she could be constructive by showing me how to improve rather than just telling me I am crap.

Earlier this year, I lost my mum to breast cancer and took 8 weeks off sick, I went back to work at the beginning of June and 4 days later had my mid year appraisal, in this my manager told me I was being put on a performance improvement plan and set short term objectives as I was underperforming (my previous appraisal in January was good). I was stunned to say the least as there had never been any mention prior to this that I was underperforming and I feel that she is nitpicking (one of these underperforming areas for instance is my spelling and grammar)

The objectives she has set me are fair in themselves as they are what I was doing as part of my job anyway but this also has made me wonder why I have been set them when I was doing all these things before. For instance, we have to do a monthly report detailing our work for the month and submit it to her on 1st of each month, I have always done this on time but in this appraisal she has told me that they are not detailed enough, this has never been mentioned to me before. Another example is we have to produce tender responses (the work she told me was **** last year), since that one I did in October which was discussed at my appraisal at the end of 2007 I have not had the opportunity to do another one, yet she has told me again in this mid year review that my tender responses are unsatisfactory and need to seriously be improved, I don't feel this is fair bringing this up again when it was something that happened last year and was dealt with at my end of year appraisal last year and this review is supposed to be discussing my performance year to date.

These are just a couple of examples, every other appraisal I have ever had in my working life has been glowing, even from my previous manager in my current role.

My job really is to sell and for the first half of the year I was 104% of my target set, none of this was noted in my review and has also made me question why I have been reviewed as underperforming when I have achieved above expectation of my role?

I feel that my current manager does not like me for whatever reason and is trying her best to make my working life as uncomfortable as possible so I will leave, I don't want to leave as I love my job.

I also thought that appraisals should not spring any surprises on you and I had had no idea any of this was going on, I think aswell that I was not given any opportunity to get back into work following the death of my mum as my appraisal grade had already been decided.

I have spoken to my HR who were brilliant and said I have valid reasons for not agreeing to her review and suggested a meeting between the three of us to sort this out, however, she has now commenced maternity leave which although gives me some breathing space, means this cannot happen for the best part of a year, also I am concerned that although she will be very nice in the meeting, in our working environment again, our relationship will deteriorate further. This review has now gone down on my record and I now have a covering manager who no doubt will think the worst of me.

I have been having to submit (as one of my short term objectives) a weekly planner by email of what I am doing during the week (as I work out in the field and am home based) to my line manager and her manager but now my line manager has left, I am just sending this to her manager instead, the rest of the objectives I was set and the deadlines given to me I have done, I have had no feedback from anyone since all this happened how things are going and I don't know what to do.

I also feel that although my mum was dying I didn't go off sick until the week before she died and I carried on doing my job because I didn't want to let my colleagues or the company down, I never took any other time off sick during her illness and now I wish I had, I recognise that maybe I wasn't performing as strong as what I could have done but I was under an enormous amount of personal stress and thought some allowance should have been made for this or do you think I have expected too much?

I have hit rock bottom, it was hard enough coming back to work after my mums death with the immense grief I still have, without then being faced with being told officially that I have to improve 'or else'

I am worried about what will happen when she comes back to work next year and I'm not sure whether to talk to my 'new' manager about this or just keep my head down.

There were also some things recorded on my review that were not discussed at the meeting we had (she said I am sometimes abrupt and rude in emails and phone calls to her which I believe is untrue but this was not mentioned at my review)

I have never experienced anything like this before and I'm not sure how to handle it from here on

any advice would be very much appreciated

[tiglet]

Hi lexii

Firstly, I'm really sorry to hear about your Mum. You must be under enough stress at the moment without all of this.

I'm really glad that HR are being sympathetic and they seem to be giving you the right advise. I know it seems a long time to wait, but perhaps her going on maternity leave is a blessing in disguise. If what she has said in your appraisal is unfair, then now you can prove to her manager how good you are.

You could as for a meeting with your "new" manager to review things set in your appraisal, but, to be honest, I would try to be constructive about it and try to keep her on side.

You've got some time without her around - you never know, there may be an improved relationship when she returns.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[Sidewinder]

Why not produce a written response to the review, countering those points which you disagree with and explaining the mitigating factors (your bereavement for example where appropriate), and requesting that this be attached to the copy of the review on your personnel file? This stops some way short of lodging a grievance, but will be clear to anybody reading the review that there are areas of contention.

[Gogivit]

Firstly I want to say sorry that you lost your mother. I too lost my mother about two and a half years ago to breast cancer.

The reason I wanted to write to you was because several weeks ago,I sent an email to my companies head office complaining about the way managers treat their staff. In fact I was so blunt that afterwards I thought would I end up losing my job over it.

I hi-lighted many issues of greivence- none of which was related to myself but in fact my collegues being mis treated, underpaid etc etc. Interestingly HR are persuing several of my complaints.

Well head office contacted my division of the company and believe me everyone seems to be on tip-toe!

One thing I can not and will not tolerate is bullyish managers mis treating staff!

Sometimes a person has to build up courage and say what they really want to say. Speaking to many of my collegues the one thing that always seems to transpire is that they want to complain about issues but are too scared to do so. I appreciate that, but from my own experiences throughout my life time of working, you may be so surprised to hear that the HR departments are very good and once they get involved you generally find yourself protected from those mean people who think they are un-touchable! In particular one job from many years ago that I had, we had a bully manager who through my complaint resulted in him resigning. They think they are untouchable but no one is un-touchable.

Please stop doubting your attributes and capabilities because again from my experience of bullies, is that bullies themselves tend to put staff down because usually it is they that is not capable of doing the job themself!

Please do not keep this to yourself, share it with HR because if people do not hi-light bullies, then how can HR know the bullies exist!

[Ell-enn]

HI there, I absolutely agree with Sidewinder in that you should submit a response to the appraisal so that it is on your file.

List each of the negative points separately and detail why you think they are either incorrect, or give your mitigating explanation. Ensure you record that you have not had an opportunity to meet with HR and your manager to resolve these issues.

Kind Regards

Ell-enn

[lexii]

thank you so much for taking the time to read my thread and for your kind replies

fortunately, there was space on the review for me to write my comments, I spent some time constructing this with my husband (who was appalled at what she had written) to try to put my opinion across without sounding like I was being obstructive and defensive.

I commented that although I took on board some of my managers comments I felt that my personal stresses had not been taken into account and that I disagreed with some of her comments and the reasons why. I also took time to apologise to her if I had caused her any distress in my 'abrupt' emails (although I have copies of every email I have sent her and cannot find any one that seems abrupt or rude) but mentioned this was not highlighted at my review.

At the bottom of this document I had to sign that the review had been agreed by me, I have crossed 'agreed' out and written that I have noted her comments instead as I do not agree with it.

HR told me that as I have disputed this review, my line manager should have offered me another meeting to discuss it further, this hasn't happened and as I say she has now gone on leave. I have asked HR in the meantime to record my conversations with them about this on my file.

I am hoping that in the interim time she is away from work, this will give me opportunity to 'shine' so to speak but do feel aggrieved that I have to 'prove' myself when I don't feel I have done anything wrong

I am still concerned about these short term objectives that I have fulfilled but have had no feedback whatsoever as to whether anyone is happy with the work I have done or not. I have a meeting arranged with my new manager (male) on 21st July (this is a get to know you kind of meeting) and would like to discuss some of these issues with him then, but I don't even know if he has been made aware of any of this as he wasn't announced as our new manager until after my official manager had gone on leave

My biggest concern is that if my line manager knows I have spoken to HR, she will make things more difficult for me when she returns to work next year, I have this feeling that as I am not a manager, her opinions will have more weight than mine

[tiglet]

Don't worry too much about what the future may hold - for all you know, someone may have complained about her before.

You sound like you are doing all of the right things.

IF she causes trouble when she comes back, then you can go through the disciplinary procedure, which should not favour one side over the other, regardless of whether one is management or not.

If it ever gets that far, let us know and we'll be on the case

[Gogivit]

For anyone that may be wondering- I have recently had some feedback in relation to the stir that I caused very recently with my companies group HEAD OFFICE.

I have in fact received positive feedback which to me proves the point, be brave and tell HR what you are experiencing and im sure they will help!