Feeling left out...

[green_and_mean]

Can a managers behaviour outside the work place be used as basis of a grievance? My wife works in local govt in a team of 20 staff and feels that the behaviour of her line manager is unproffessional. He organises regular 'staff' social events usually at his house such as a christmas party and often a summer bbq. My wife feels left out because he only invites those he 'likes' and excludes the same people from being invited each time (about 6 out of the 20). She has mentioned it informally and just gets told he can invite who he likes as its his house. She feels however that since he is responsible as such for discipline measures and has control over other matters such as overtime that this blatent display of favoritism is wrong and should not happen. Is there anything she can do? It may seem a silly thing to get upset about but it hurts her when she has to sit and listen about the 'great night they had' at work the next day and doesn't know why shes not invited?

[Bookworm]

I don't see there is much she can do, no, as you say, it is outside work, so unless it spills over onto the workplace (passed over for promotion for no reason, discipline applied differently, etc...), it is up to him who he socialises with. Most people create their friendships in life through meeting people at work, and that's just the way it is.

[green_and_mean]

Originally Posted by Bookworm

I don't see there is much she can do, no, as you say, it is outside work, so unless it spills over onto the workplace (passed over for promotion for no reason, discipline applied differently, etc...), it is up to him who he socialises with. Most people create their friendships in life through meeting people at work, and that's just the way it is.

I can see where you are coming from but I can also see why she gets upset as she feels she is being ostracised for no reason.

[Bookworm]

So do I, don't get me wrong, but can you imagine the outcry if people were forced by their jobs either to socialise with everyone or noone at all outside of their workplace? I mean, talk of human rights violations!

It's bad enough that we feel our jobs control us for most of our waking time as it is!

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Actually, ET's have quite often ruled that 'employees meeting in the pub after work' is significant enough to be regarded as 'in the course of employment.'

A social gathering such as your wife's employers undertake would appear to be similar.

That is the important factor. 'In the course of employment' has a rather more wide ranging meaning that just 9 to 5 for example.

Liability of employers

[Bookworm]

Sorry, that is only one case you have quoted, there are just as many, if not more, that say the exact opposite, and yes, I know you said "quite often".

Based on the link given, this is about harassment, which is pro-active, and I think that not inviting someone would be a big stretch to come under harassment, IMO.

[green_and_mean]

Originally Posted by Bookworm

So do I, don't get me wrong, but can you imagine the outcry if people were forced by their jobs either to socialise with everyone or noone at all outside of their workplace? I mean, talk of human rights violations!

It's bad enough that we feel our jobs control us for most of our waking time as it is!

Her employer does not allow manager/staff personal relationships and that is accepted as legal but I guess she will just have to accept that her boss treats her in this way and live with it.

[moonfairy]

Try speaking to a specialist in Equality and Diversity. I had some training on this about a year ago and the situation that you have described would no longer be allowed, but that might have just been my interpritation of it. Certainly if your wife was in a pub and this crowd of colleagues tuned up and one of them said something offensive to your wife she now has the legal right to raise a grievance against this person even though the offence was caused outside of the workplace and outside of working hours. If you can not get anywhere informally with this person, then I suggest that the people who are left out get together an make a group grievance, they will feel stronger if they work together on this one, otherwise your wife could be made to feel very awkward. But again if this person who has the parties then picked on your wife after she made a complaint, she would have another grievance against him. The best thing she can do is keep a diary of every occasion this person makes her feel uncomfortable.

Hope this helps.

[Weird Al Yankovic]

Originally Posted by Bookworm

Sorry, that is only one case you have quoted, there are just as many, if not more, that say the exact opposite, and yes, I know you said "quite often".

Based on the link given, this is about harassment, which is pro-active, and I think that not inviting someone would be a big stretch to come under harassment, IMO.

I just wanted to point out the fact that a social gathering such as this can be considered an employment matter too despite being out of work and work hours. That was the main reason for the link, not so much the content.

I think you will find the same principle applies to discrimination, victimisation etc

For example, should the line manager decide to racially abuse an employee at this social event, just because he is at home, doesn't mean he would be immune to a racial discrimination claim brought 'in the course of employment.'

The OP's wife feels she is being purposely left out and being treated less favourably 'in the course of her employment.'

This could be victimisation especially if she were able to prove that her colleagues, who are liked and invited, work more overtime because she isn't asked.

Or a blind eye may be turned if one of them is late but it isn't when she does. He disciplines one but not the other.

The line manager has said he can do what he wants. He may find that actually he can't, within an employment sense at least.

[zazen.warrior]

Personally I have always found undue pressure to attend events organised by work colleagues and taking place outside work hours much more troublesome than the exclusion described; but then I've no desire to see my work colleagues out of work, I would feel as if I was still there!

To agree with another point raised; I am aware of a work colleague who lost his job - quite rightly I think - due to the racist views he drunkenly expressed at such an event.

[green_and_mean]

Thanks for the advice I will pass it on.

[green_and_mean]

Originally Posted by Weird Al Yankovic

This could be victimisation especially if she were able to prove that her colleagues, who are liked and invited, work more overtime because she isn't asked.

Or a blind eye may be turned if one of them is late but it isn't when she does. He disciplines one but not the other.

This is exactly what happens!!

[morteee]

I would use a tad of reverse psychology here and when the 'in crowd' started banging on about what a fab time they had had would start wittering on about what an amazing evening I had had with my friends and smile sweetly

tell her not to let this playground behaviour get to her and to find it highly amusing that a group of grown people have to resort to school yard tactics to make themselves feel better

She could also maybe arrange a party for herself and those others being left out