Manager adding to stress ...

[Fluffbucket]

Newbie here, so please be gentle! But I need to vent ...

My workload is pretty heavy, office-based stuff where I have a good amount of longterm work to get on with, plus I'm at everybody's beck-and-call for sorting local IT problems etc which I find very disruptive. I was coping okay with this, I've been off with stress before so I've learnt to try and control my workload to minimise the worry.

This week we find out there's a 90% chance that our office will be closing in the next year; senior managers think it can be done without redundancies but there will simply be no requirement for "admin" in the local area and I am not interested in being re-training (admin is my career). I live pretty rural in Scotland, there aren't many job opportunities (dead women's shoes). So this has naturally got me scared.

Local managers know about my heavy workload, and the news about likely closure. I'm sure they realise that it's a stressful situation to be in.

So, one manager decides to call me unwarned into their office and "counsel" me about some email I sent earlier in the week and how another staff member (a youngster) felt undermined by it, was so upset that they called the manager at home. Now I cannot remember how the email was phrased (my job involves sending loads!) or that it undermined the staff member, but I was more annoyed at being called in un-announced, and that this other staff member had gone bleating to management rather than talking to me.

When I refused to discuss the issue without being given time to review / remember what happened, the manager was not happy. They thought I was being unnecessarily awkward; I think they were being vindictive and bullying. I left, early, with a headache brought on by all this.

I know that it was probably wrong to leave, but I felt unable to continue working that day. My head is still racing with thoughts about this and the workload problem, I'm not sleeping till late and then I can't wake up properly, and I reckon if I returned to work, I'd probably lash out at some other poor uninvolved souls over trivial matters.

Was the manager right in calling me in without warning? Our internal guidance does promote counselling first before conduct interviews, but I felt terribly caught "on the hop" and unprepared. I felt unfairly victimised, as I was immediately accused of bad attitude before they had a chance to hear my side of the issue. And after I left their room, the manager pursued me around the office to try and continue the discussion in public, which was embarrassing.

I'm hoping to speak with a colleague in another office who does a similar job to this manager, just to see whether I'm over-reacting or whether the manager has handled it badly. But what does anybody else on this forum think?

Thanks for any input!

[chasin sunsets]

First off, they shouldnt have called you in unanounced as you have a right to be accompanied by a colleague or trade union rep. I suggest you join a suitable union or buy a voice recorder and record all meetings..i now do this at my place of work and things have cooled off, i am however, looking for alternative employers..the main part of my stress has to be due to a so called work colleague telling my ,line manager i was leaving 30 mins early on fridays, 4pm, instead of 4-30pm to collect my daughter. I put it to the management, if i was female, nothing would have been said..i then tended my notice and i was called in by a director for a chat, i called union rep and itwas sorted out. On friday, i found out the colleague has got a new job!¬! He called me and let me know as both went for the same position...i am now looking forward to a stress free few weeks and may even apply for is job! if i dont get it as i am the only one qualified, i will be off...

[Fluffbucket]

Thanks for the response, 'sunsets.

Originally Posted by chasin sunsets

First off, they shouldnt have called you in unanounced as you have a right to be accompanied by a colleague or trade union rep.

That's what I thought, but then I checked our staff guidance notes. If you are called for a disciplinary / conduct interview, then advance warning is indeed specified. But they have this pre-official meeting that they refer to as "counselling", and no rules are given for how that should be handled.

Anyway, it was enough to anger me and cause a headache. I'm guessing that I wouldn't have become so angry if I hadn't been stressed out in the first place, I think the meeting has just triggered a reaction.

Which has made me realise something. Last time I was signed off with work-related stress (4 years ago), it was a similar situation - heavy pressure at work that I had been coping with, but then an un-scheduled meeting with a manager (a different one) questioning my integrity and poof! white clouds in my head where my brain used to be. So it seems that I can cope with pressure but I don't recognise when I'm at powder-keg stage.

I guess that gives me a way forward anyway.

[poppynurse]

I'm a bit confused - surely it is better for your manager to call you in unofficially for a chat if there is potentially a problem rather than launch straight into formal meetings?

[Fluffbucket]

It probably IS better, but it was done without warning or allowing preparation time - until I sat down in the manager's room, I had no idea what was wanted - for all I know, they could have had some work they wanted help with!

Instead I was immediately questioned about something that had happened days ago, something I had given no further thought to because I considered it part of normal work and not anything that would be subsequently queried.

[poppynurse]

I think it is reasonable for you to want to check the content of the email before you responded to your manager, they should have allowed you the opportunity to review it and get back to them with your response.

[gmail]

I don't really see that there is anything you can do or any wrong doing has been done. The manager wanted to see you and have an unofficial chat about something that had been brought to his/her attention.
If it was going to be an official meeting that had end consequences then that's a different story, but clearly it wasn't. If the manager was going to make a boo boo and discipline you somehow at the end of the meeting then that could be a different story but as it never progressed you will never know. I doubt very much that that would have been the case anyway.
My opinion is your looking too much into it.
Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear