 Re: Formal Grievence - DAW
Lack of confidentiality should really be a part of your grievance in the circumstances you have outlined. It is an implicit part of an employer/employee relationship that you are treated with respect and dignity. The lack of acknowledgement for the 'informal' grievance meeting is an irrelevance as you can bring everything up now as part of a formal procedure. You should though make a point of complaining that subsequent to the meeting on [date] with [name] and [name], you have repeatedly asked for minutes but nothing has been forthcoming. It is then a matter of record.
It is perfectly natural that the Line Manager should be gathering support - she is no doubt keen to try and disprove any allegation which you have made against her. Equally you will have to try and substantiate your complaint.
I fear that you may have some difficulty with this and (not wishing to appear judgemental) it is one of the major reasons why workplace relationships can prove a major headache for all concerned, especially where the employer is unaware, and particularly dangerous where one party has a position of authority. Inevitably if either side is wronged, there is a perception that one side could be undermining the authority of the manager or alternatively the manager be using his or her position inappropriately. It is all too common for one party to try and 'get back' at the other. I fear that in order for you to progress your grievance against your manager, the matter of the affair may end up having to be disclosed at some point as a reason why she should single you out for mistreatment.
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