re; Phatram's fostering thread

[callumsgran]

I have taken about 65 mins to read through phatrams thread and was going to reply

Lo and behold get to the end and its been closed, typical!!!!

I will give my 2 penorth here


My husband and i looked into fostering a few years ago, not for the money
but because we wanted to make a difference!
The money never came into it!

P1 had the right idea, it's not a job it's a vocation, anyone looking at it as a job is in the wrong place.

Plainjane also put it very succinctly.

A couple of friends of mine are foster carers (sorry Robert but we're not pc if we call them foster parents anymore, not here in england anyway hun and we have to call them that now as that is taught you as part of your training) and believe you me they are far from poor!

In fact one who is a single parent (so would be at home and on call 24/7 anyway) was better off than me and my hubby who was working full-time and she also got benefits and she wasn't a perfect foster carer either drinking lager of an evening, she never bathed the babies (just wiped them over with wet wipes) and most of the babies in her care were developmentally behind when they were eventually adopted out.

Her friend regularly had a drink with her and drove home with her foster child in the car and kept him out until at least 10pm

Who monitors these people?

[Saffronflowers]

Phatram - I really do not appreciate being PM'ed that I have been rude to your wife and the insinuations you made - I have not or will be - I have just disagreed with your attitude nothing more and nothing less.

I have reported the PM

SFx

[Cellbar]

I read through all this myself and was amazed to read what I did. If you are a foster carer with an attitude like this, then I would have said you are in the wrong line! It is not a job, and how you can complain about money is beyond me totally!!You should put yourself in the shoes of kinship carers, who are entitled, in the most part, to nothing. They suffer stress and hardship through doing the right thing, and yes, I am a kinship carer, I have my 15 month old grand daughter, for which I get a big fat zilch, even though I should get an allowance, the LA have done their utmost to make sure I dont get a penny, simply becuase she is my grand daughter. People in my situation are having to remortgage homes, go without holidays, sell their car, completely change their lifestyle and yet YOU, who have been vetted and trained complain about what you ARE getting.I am amazed you are allowed to foster with such an attitude! it cannot be healthy for your wards and in my mind, I thank god my g/d did not end up in care with someone as selfish as you!As for setting up an action group for people 'in your situation'.. god give me strength!

	Hardship By and large the "harship" provision in the FSA waiver is a myth which is intended to create a sense that the banking industry is sufficiently well-intentioned to act fairly towards its customers even though their right of access to the courts has been blocked. In fact there are very few guidelines as to procedure and very little definition of "hardship". One unfortunate spin off is that many people in difficulty get their hopes up and go to considerable lengths to plead hardship to their bank in order to get a refund or partial refund of their bank charges only to be refused. Neither the courts nor the FOS have the power to order a bank to make a charges refund on the basis of hardship. We hear of some people obtaining a partial refund quite easily. Others have obtained money by being very persistent - but mostly we hear that people are refused. Even benefits claimants do not automatically receive hardship refunds. By all means try to get a bank charges refund on the basis of hardship - but don't bank on it!

[phatram]

Originally Posted by callumsgran

I have taken about 65 mins to read through phatrams thread and was going to reply

Lo and behold get to the end and its been closed, typical!!!!

I will give my 2 penorth here


My husband and i looked into fostering a few years ago, not for the money
but because we wanted to make a difference!
The money never came into it!

P1 had the right idea, it's not a job it's a vocation, anyone looking at it as a job is in the wrong place.

Plainjane also put it very succinctly.

A couple of friends of mine are foster carers (sorry Robert but we're not pc if we call them foster parents anymore, not here in england anyway hun and we have to call them that now as that is taught you as part of your training) and believe you me they are far from poor!

In fact one who is a single parent (so would be at home and on call 24/7 anyway) was better off than me and my hubby who was working full-time and she also got benefits and she wasn't a perfect foster carer either drinking lager of an evening, she never bathed the babies (just wiped them over with wet wipes) and most of the babies in her care were developmentally behind when they were eventually adopted out.

Her friend regularly had a drink with her and drove home with her foster child in the car and kept him out until at least 10pm

Who monitors these people?

Have you reported her to the local authority?

[phatram]

Originally Posted by Saffronflowers

Phatram - I really do not appreciate being PM'ed that I have been rude to your wife and the insinuations you made - I have not or will be - I have just disagreed with your attitude nothing more and nothing less.

I have reported the PM

SFx

This post proves my point.
I hope this thread is also closed so as to stop the stirrers !
Mr P

[phatram]

Originally Posted by Cellbar

I read through all this myself and was amazed to read what I did. If you are a foster carer with an attitude like this, then I would have said you are in the wrong line! It is not a job, and how you can complain about money is beyond me totally!!You should put yourself in the shoes of kinship carers, who are entitled, in the most part, to nothing. They suffer stress and hardship through doing the right thing, and yes, I am a kinship carer, I have my 15 month old grand daughter, for which I get a big fat zilch, even though I should get an allowance, the LA have done their utmost to make sure I dont get a penny, simply becuase she is my grand daughter. People in my situation are having to remortgage homes, go without holidays, sell their car, completely change their lifestyle and yet YOU, who have been vetted and trained complain about what you ARE getting.I am amazed you are allowed to foster with such an attitude! it cannot be healthy for your wards and in my mind, I thank god my g/d did not end up in care with someone as selfish as you!As for setting up an action group for people 'in your situation'.. god give me strength!

It is a job!
Its a very hard job, and real foster carers know it and deserve credit, but credit doesn't pay the bills!

[Cellbar]

So instead of moaning about what you are getting (which is very generous from where I am sat!), be thankful for what you are getting - you foster to make a difference.You don't have to tell me its hard, I am in the situation with my g/d, and as hard as it is mentally and physically, we are not getting paid for it, job or not.I don't expect a pat on the shoulder and credit for what I have done, but when you are in the system and knew from the outset what was involved, you should not be complaining about it now.I have had to find out, reseacrh and fight for everything in relation to my g/d, including paying thousands in solicitors fees AND get nothing in return. You went in eyes wide open - be thankful for what you get, and in point of fact, if it is a difficult job as you say, then at least you earn it!You give a sob story - I am sorry, but you know nothing, you have been spoilt by the system!

[phatram]

Originally Posted by Cellbar

So instead of moaning about what you are getting (which is very generous from where I am sat!), be thankful for what you are getting - you foster to make a difference.You don't have to tell me its hard, I am in the situation with my g/d, and as hard as it is mentally and physically, we are not getting paid for it, job or not.I don't expect a pat on the shoulder and credit for what I have done, but when you are in the system and knew from the outset what was involved, you should not be complaining about it now.I have had to find out, reseacrh and fight for everything in relation to my g/d, including paying thousands in solicitors fees AND get nothing in return. You went in eyes wide open - be thankful for what you get, and in point of fact, if it is a difficult job as you say, then at least you earn it!You give a sob story - I am sorry, but you know nothing, you have been spoilt by the system!

Another one !

[Saffronflowers]

Originally Posted by phatram

This post proves my point.
I hope this thread is also closed so as to stop the stirrers !
Mr P

This is a copy of the PM received by myself from you

Prove your point or admit your needs.
Don't upset my wife.
I'm not happy.
PM my wife (*****) and have a dialogue, but stop having a go at her please.
Thank you
P***

I have no needs - I have proved my point, please stop upsetting me and the majority of posters on these two threads, Please do not PM me again and desist from having a go at me behind the veil of a PM.

Thank you

SF

[GuidoT]

It is usually inappropriate to post Private Messages on the open forum.

I realise everyone feels the urge to get the last word in, but arguing here is so so pointless. It is better the let this thread just fizzle away.

Can we not allow this thread to degenerate into tirade of abuse like I see so many others. If you cannot post without getting personal then please post nothing.

[Saffronflowers]

GuidoT - I apologise, however, I do object to receiving a pm as above when I have done nothing wrong - I dont want the last word, I walked away from the previous thread and then recieved this PM.

I will walk away again, and if I receive another I will with a word just forward it.

SFx

[Cellbar]

Originally Posted by phatram

Another one !

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!!You need to look at the bigger picture and stop trying to obtain sympathies - you have a weak argument as far as I am concerned, and to make out everyone is against you simply because they do not agree with you shows you up for what you really are.

[phatram]

I should've listen to the Mods advice last week in a pm and ignored some of you.
This shall be my last post on the subject. I can't expect to gain any support on here from you guys, who are all so qualified to comment.NOT!
When you foster, when you've done the amount of training we've done, when you are as qualified as my wife to do her JOB, then you can comment and be taken seriously.
As I say I shall not post again and hope the Mod who closed the original thread does so with this one.
I know of lots of foster carers who struggle to make ends meet, that is a FACT.
I know what I'm talking about, some of you only think you know!
Goodbye
Mr P

[Cellbar]

See what I mean?I am qualified to comment, trust me, and so are thousands of others in kinship carer situations. We are the ones that need the support, trust me.You are quite right though, lets hope the thread is closed, its a pointless debate when you cannot debate.You are taking things personally and becoming defensive when there is really no need. You may be right, I just don't agree, but then, you have not once commented on the 'plight' of kinship carers, just harped on about your own so called 'plight'.Nuff sed.

[Rooster-UK]

This thread is going nowhere.

If anyone receives objectionable or threatening PMs, please report them to Admin.

If the argueing and back-biting continues, then I will close this thread.

Rooster-UK.