Wizard of Oz?

[Sev]

IT all started in 2004. The company I work for is a high media profile company which is involved in automotive engineering.

I was working for the road car side of the business then, and had always had a lot of overtime to rely on. Then in 2004, nearly all overtime was cut. I suddenly for the first time in 10 years had to live off a flat salary.

After six months of struggling and anxiety I rand all my creditors, and told them that I couldn't pay because.

And so it began, incesant phonecalls, barages of letters all threatening court action, and defaults being applied across my file.

I tried to make token offers of payment, used the letters from debtline and here. They all just sold the debts on. The most ferocious at the time were MBNA, and one christmas they called my parents and threatened them with losing their homes if they didn't pay my debt. MY parents were into their late 70's.

Due to my disposition that year, when the bonuses came around at christmas, I was not given one, and told that the attitude had been what had done it. It was only 700 pounds, but it would have helped. I collapsed in a heap and just cried my eyes out in from of my suervisor and his toady underling who just sat there grinning.

The production director had a chat with me, and told me that I "needed to find religion or boxing or something", but didn't offer to reistate the bonus.

Four months later, I aaplied for a job within a differrent company in the group. I knew they paid around 6k more and was looking forward to having that money availiable in order to pay off my debts - after all i was used to scraping on what I was getting.

I was told that as I had transferred from another company within the group of companies, I was not allowed to earn the standard rate, but was capped to what I was earning. - Great, so the bucket was shinier, but the **** was still the same.

The token payments kept being made, but the charges still kept stacking up.

I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel, but it never came, I still can't provide for my family, and I still can't make my elderly parent's life comfortable. The other day, their fridge died, so I took them to the superstore, and watched my mother using all of her pension to pay for a 180 pound fridge. - it broke my heart, I just stood there like some pillock, I think(know) she was hoping that i could have stepped in and paid for it.
In the end, I decided to put a rope in the back of the car, and drive around hoping that i'd pluck up the courage to just go and hang myself.

I can't ever see an end to this, and now as I have been for the last two years, just walk around in a state of acceptance, that nothing will change, nothing can't change, and I sit and watch everything go to ruin. I have no interest in anything anymore, the house needs painting and maintainance, but I just can't be bothered with anything anymore. But I can sit and watch the street for hours - snapping out of it and realising that hours have flown by.

They didn't just take away my credit rating - they took away my will to live, my love of life, and my belief in hope that somethings could change.

That rope is still in the back of the car. All I have to do is find it in myself to do it. At least all my debts would die with me - they're all unsecured apart from the mortgage.

When the credit crunch hit - because we were too scared to call it a recession, I wondered why the govenment didn't punish the banks properly by buying all the people's mortgages with all this money that they found. That would have been a proper punishment - the banks get their money back - but the man on the street is paying the government for his mortgage. I'd have loved to see the banks going on bended knees trying to win back customers who'd they'd so royally shafted for years.

All I know is that the only present I want is for me to go to sleep and never wake up again. because miracles don't happen, and the bad guys always win.

You get to a point in living where there's just no point anymore. I just find it painfull waking up every morning. I find it painfull going to work and I find it painfull interacting with anyone. All I want to do is go to sleep for good, or have the courage to end it.

They kept telling me to take the credit, they told me that in the bad times they'd be there to help, they'd fix everything, I'd never have to worry, they were there to listen, to help.

Yes - they fixed everything, but the only difference is that there was never a caring government to bail me out. Because we're little people. and as we all know, little people don't matter.

So if anyone's going to see the wizard - I could do with some courage, to do something I should have done a long time ago.

[chloecat]

Oh my goodness. Please please don't feel that way. I know it seems like absolute hell but there really is a way out and the rope isnt it.

I'm on here today (first time for a while) for a little boost as just found out my husband may be made redundant soon. We are already up **** creek as it is so will probably lose everything come January.

But you know what... there are many people on here who can help. That's why I'm here. Just talking and seeing that other people are also in the same boat does help no end.

And although I am a little teary at our news today - I have said to my husband - it doesn't matter. We have eachother and we have our son. Everything else is just stuff.

Please don't remove yourself from your family. They love you and would rather have nothing than not have you.

Please take care and talk to your family.

[hilaryfrances]

Hey Sev, wallowing in self pity, everyone on here is either in debt or has been in debt so stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it. Being positive is more use than being negative. One of my sisters has been given 6 months to live, she is 67, she deserves pity not you, what can she do to improve her situation? First of all get a grip. these are your debts, your problems nothing to do with the government. Make a list of all your outgoings and income, decide what you can pay to them each month. Go to see the citizens advice bureau and seek their help in sorting your creditors out. If anyone threatens your parents again go to the police. Look around your house and do any jobs that will cost you nothing. Make a list of any other jobs you want to do and do one a month as you can afford to do them. Moping around will not do you any good at all. Improving your living conditions will improve your life. Taking a grip will improve your life. Getting an appoitment with CAB will improver your life. Moping about will make you a target for ridicule FIGHT BACK

[Sev]

Well thankyou Hilary, you've put it all into perspective, and of course it's all so simple.

You're right of course, the debts are all mine, and it's nothing to do with the government that this industry runs riot in it's treatment of individuals or their cavalier practices, or the blatent disregard of their own guidelines.

As for your lists - yes did those two years ago, as for the CAB, did that two years ago. As for the police, well they said that techically there was little they could do.

As for the small jobs around the house, yes doing those as funds allow as for moping... well... clinical depression does strange things to people - including making them the subject of ridicule. It's not cancer darling but it's still an illness, but thanks for putting it all into perpective for me. You've been truly inspirational.

[flyingdoc]

Hi Sev

While hilary's post was a little blunt i have to agree with some of the things she says.

I dont agree that the govt is blameless but my business partner has a saying which is so true in these circumstances.

It may not be your fault - but it sure as hell is your problem!!!.

What you need to do is to focus on something that you can actually achieve - and in doing so you may just find a way both out of your depression and out of your debt.

First - Get together a list of all your debts loans creditcards and everything you owe (that is the depressing bit but soon over)

now its time to start fighting back.

Lets see if all the credit agreements are valid under all the legislation that we can examine them under (Subject Access Request's are only a quid each)

get all the agreements.

If any do not meet requirements then dispute them, fight for your rights, with our help and all the people here, unless the creditors are squeaky clean (and point me to a squeaky clean bank and I wll show you a monopoly set) you can only improve your position.

whats more it will give you a purpose - a reason to get up in the morning - a reason to look forward to the letters from the bank arriving rather than dreading them, so you can see what ridiculous answer they have come up with this time.

We are all here to help. - we cannot help if you aint here......

[Sev]

FD you are right in everything you say - as was hillary.

However, I thought the thread was just about letting you wax lyrical about your experiences - it wasn't supposed to be a sympathy vote- the very fact i'm looking to pay all my debts is proof of facing up to them, and yes, well aware that it's my problem.

As for the govenment quote, sorry but my debts are my problem but the industry's behaviour is something that can be solved at government level.

How about a law stopping banks just getting DCA's to chase and harass ad hoc?

How about a law banning companies outside the UK telemarketing into the UK?

As for fighting - absolutely - currently got a thread going regarding cahoot and a DCA, and yes the credit agreement is there for the scrutiny of all.

Like I said it's not a sympathy vote. It was just an opportunity to finally air a set of feelings and sentiments (of which I actually wish I hadn't bothered), i'm hardly asking for you to dip in to your pocket and bail me out. I want to bail myself out, and like everyone here I feel that the institutions and their hounds are not being sympathetic to my request for forbearance and understanding even though I've presented them with proof. But- it's my bed, so i'm prepared to lie in it.

[hilaryfrances]

ha, sounds as if you have got your temper up, good, that has put up in a fighting mode. I know all about depresion believe me, I also know it does you not one jot of good. Take back control of your life and you have a chance , at the moment you will be getting deeper in debt each month, once you have turned the corner you will start getting out of debt each month, this will still feel like you are climbing a mountain with roller skates on your feet but you will get there. Just dont let the barstewards get to you, keep angry, keep fighting and you will win.

[flyingdoc]

And by the way - we dont do sympathy - but we do do support - its our reason for being here.