Stress of Debt

[lemma1968]

Has anyone else noticed how addictive this site is? I am on it all the time (when I am not trying to concentrate on work). My family are not chuffed at all.

It just shows how all encompassing the stress of debt can be that we spend all our free time trying to get information to get these bloodsuckers off our backs. Very unhealthy really, although the up side is that i doubt there is anywhere else that those of us in debt can go to find the level of moral support that is available on this site.

I thsnk you all for that support.

[babybear39]

Hiya lemma1968 ,

Stress is what the DCAs want to cause us, to make us pay any alledged debt...

Hang in there

*hugs*

BB

[lemma1968]

Thanks for the click

[spiritgirl59]

lemma1968 I couldn't agree with you more.

Before I found CAG I was feeling suicidal because of my debt problems. Even though I had had help from the Citizens Advice Bureau I was still stuck with a huge pile of debt and feeling I had no control, and that I would be stuck with the debt for the rest of my life Much of it was run up through no fault of my own, but through extremely difficult personal circumstances and I honestly thought I would have to suffer for the rest of my life because of things which had happened over a few tough years.

I never thought I could challenge the people who were hounding me night and day, and that possibly there were circumstances where they were breaking the law by hounding me. I always thought they were right and I was wrong, and I was always intimidated by their phone calls and letters.

Not any more!

This site gave me back the control I needed, and the confidence to challenge all the DCAs and Creditors who were on my back. Its only through tackling them all head on and reminding them of my consumer rights that I have got this far.

I would say to any new member reading this that you have found a safe haven here, a place where there are so many of us who truly truly understand how you are feeling right now, and a place where you can get the practical advice, support and help you need to fight back.

You will find you will gain in confidence, and as you do so you will feel so much better emotionally and physically I promise you.

Spiritgirl

[clutchingatstraws]

Knowlege is power.

Debt is lonely

You are never alone on this site.

All the best

Cas

[smashedbobo]

Stress is the worst thing in the world to cope with. But when it is from debt it is soul destroying. I am at my nether end now. I have just received a letter from council tax saying unless i pay what i owe from last year and all of this years as well they will make me bankrupt. Hey ho. just something else sent to test me. This site does give lots of support. You can tell strangers things you cant tell your nearest and dearest. And yes this site is addictive. and my friends think i am slightly mad. My family also. But once they get on the site they get the bug. xxx

[lemma1968]

Is there no way that they will agree a payment plan? If they make you bankrupt then they will get knack all if you on a low income so a bit of friendly persuasion may help. Or go to a CAB or Harehills andChapeltown Law Centre may be able to help for further advice. They are free and staffed by qualified lawyers, plus some law centres bring in lawyers who do a few hours a week pro bono to help people with advice and letter writing etc.

[smashedbobo]

The Cab in my town is never open and i did make offers. And started to pay bailiffs direct to there offices. They said they would not make an arrangement unless their bailiffcame to see me and i signed a walking possession. NOT ON YOUR LIFE. They wont even give me a breakdown of costs. Said they could not do that whilst my file was in the hand of bailiff dealing with my case. It looks like they have passed the file back to council now. I only owe for may and this month. And i have paid what ai could afford for last year sent with a letter from this site i was given. I dont know the other law centres. Its very hard talking to those closest to you because you feel as though you are being judged. Its not easy. I thank god for this site and MSE. Like you i can help others to get out of a mess but not myself. And thank you xxxxxxxxxxxx

[lemma1968]

Harehills and Chapeltown Law Centre is definitely your nearest one. What have you got to lose by ringing them and making an appointment?

Harehill and Chapeltown Law Centre
263 Roundhay Road
Leeds LS8 4HS

Tel: 0113 249 1100
Fax: 0113 235 1185
www.lawcentres.org.uk

email: admin@leedslawcentre.org. uk

[Hopeful1]

This site is a godsend. I'm a wife, mom, daughter, sister, sister-in-law, friend etc etc but like you Bobo, i am too ashamed/embarrassed to tell any of them what a mess i'm in . Now i can log on here it is such a relief and i think that's why it's so addictive. It's a place to share in a non judgemental environment. It's also constructive because of the fab advice. It's also gratifying to occasionally be able to offer advice to others or at least offer support.

I've had problems with council tax. I owed some from last year which i had a court order for. I couldn't pay it in full before the court date, so then they sent me a demand for this year. I rang prior to the 1st court date and arranged to pay 150 per month to cover both years. The awful thing is my husband's name is on this and he knows nothing about it. It's terrible isn't it? Have you tried going to the council tax office and trying to talk to them face to face? I fnot i would definitely follow the advice re solicitoers. That sounds like a useful service. I'd never heard of that before - another new bit of info i've learnt on here

[smashedbobo]

Oh my god i have tried to speak to the revenues office at leeds. But they are just soooooooooooo not nice. In fact i did a silly thing last year as i was so scared i offered to pay what i thought i could afford, in fact it was too much. Hence it snowballed from there. After being on this site i am more aware although it does not stop you from being scared half to death. My new partner does not know half of what i am going through. And neither do my family. Well that is until now. I have beenable to put down here some of the things i am going through and i know it is being read by someone very very close to me. I would not have been able to tell her to her face. And also neither she to me. we both know we have debts etc but we have both been experts at burying our heads in the sand. w have trie to talk although ultimatly (sorry not good at spelling sometimes) it usually ends up in tears and slamming of doors and saying thing that we really dont mean. As a family we are soooooooooooo close. Sometimes when you try and talk to your closest its not always advice you need or want. At times a huge cuddle is all thats needed. And a good cry. x

[lemma1968]

Smashedbobo, you really have nothing to lose by contacting these people. it sounds to me as if you are still burying your head in the ground and hoping they will go away. Just think, your new partner will not be best pleased if you are served with a stat demand and you have not let on to him. Relationships are about trust.

Oh, haven't you moved out of that address now as well so the council tax should no longer be accruing, so you only have the arrears to deal with?

If not, get it done. I do not see why you are running two households when you do not need to.

I promise I shall not be slamming any doors....what is family for?

[smashedbobo]

Not burying my head at all any more. Just banging it against a brick wall. I have dealt with so much but there comes a time when a brick wall is all you hit at times. Right now i do not know which way to turn and what to do first now. I need time to think things through.I have had to deal with so much on my own. After a while you get worn down. If i give up my house i have nowhere to bolt to if needed. And yes sorry to say i am being very cautious now. I had a " chat" with another member of my family yesterday well over the last few weeks. And my head is now mashed. again. And what i am saying to you is, Hee hee, opinions differ on whether i should give up the house. A lodger has been suggested.

[smashedbobo]

By the way, i take it you have remembered it is fathers day today. Dont panic. Card sent. On time. xxxxxxxxx

[spiritgirl59]

bobo I would definitely go to the CAB or the Law Centre as a matter of urgency.

I know how you feel about banging your head against a wall, and at times you probably feel it is all too much and you just don't want to think about it as its so enormous and worrying... but I promise you once you get some proper help and advice you will feel tons better.

Its my feeling the council will not want to make you bankrupt unless they absolutely have to as this course of action is very extreme, and if an independent body such as the CAB or the Law Centre contacts them urgently on your behalf with an offer of an arrangement you can afford, I feel sure they will be sympathetic.

When I went to the CAB myself a couple of years ago the guy I spoke to said that its important only to offer what you CAN afford, that way you can keep up the repayments and avoid further action. bobo I ended up only being able to afford to pay them all a token amount of £1 per month things were so bad, but once that was in writing and my full situation was known, everyone the CAB wrote to was sympathetic. I feel you need to sort out your weekly or monthly income and expenditure with the CAB bobo. Its not as bad as it sounds trust me. They will prepare it all for you if you take in all information they need as to your income and outgoings, including any arrears you owe for anything at all. You need to be totally honest with them and not try to hide anything - please don't take this the wrong way, I just know from my own experience that I was tempted not to tell them the full extent of my debt problems (in my case over £50,000) but I took the bull by the horns and did so, and boy am I glad I did now.

Please please do this as soon as you can, and let us know how you get on.

I am rooting for you and sending you cyber hugs, and I do promise you you will feel better once you have taken back control of things.

Best wishes
Spiritgirl

[Hopeful1]

Spiritgirl has given some really good advice .

At least if you go to CAB and lay EVERYTHING on the table, as she said, (including all arrears) you will have made a really important start. They will help you to organise your budget at a level YOU can afford. When they contact creditors it shows that you are taking positive action to deal with your situation. You can then sit back knowing all your creditors are receiving some form of payment. Then you can decide what you want to deal with next, as you obviously have a lot of family stuff going on.

You're right though, it is impossible to deal with everything at once. I found that my head was so taken up with money stuff it was making me tired and tetchy - not the right state to make other decisions in.

Make that appointment at CAB and then let us know how you got on.

Best wishes

[smashedbobo]

Thank you everyone, i will go to cab in the morning, and not so much family stuff as it were. Its just we as a lot of people all have a lot on our plates at the moment and none of us want to worry each other. That is the top and bottom of it. As you will have made out lemma is my sister. And we have both had to face up to things this week. And even though we have done it on here it is still a weight off our shoulders. Being here has given so many of us the support and advice and also the exrta push to sort things out. And knowing your not alone, that there are thousands in the same boat does make things a little easier to deal with.