desperately need help

[scaredtodeath]

I was called in for an interview under caution, in august i had a nervous breakdown and although getting better still suffer anxiety/panic and depression which I take meds for. I phoned them up and explained this and they said to get a doctors paper but after reading on the enclosed form that you could be arrested for not going I took a tranquiliser and went. It was awful i completely went to pieces and couldn't think straight. turns out they had bank statements showing my partners wages being paid in to my account and even a joint loan application. I denied everything and left in a complete panic. I then decided to come clean as my partner had as good as moved back in with me in dec 2006, I'm totally ashamed of myself for not declaring it, we had money problems and my mental health was not good even back then, i buried my head in the sand. I rang them up and told them I had something to say, told them he moved back in in dec 06. Then they start firing questions at me about why I sold my house etc etc, the house sold in nov 04 and i claimed straight away as my partner moved out during the time the sale was going through. They said they had to find out if i sold the house just to claim benefits, how ridiculous i think, we sold it cos there was arrears, we had a second mortage and we just wern't managing to live, they've asked me to provide proof of the arrears and i have to send off for this and also bank statements from 2004 to now!! which i have ordered, the truth is i don't know if my partners wages were being paid into my account at that time until i see the statements, with the meds im on i can't remember last week let alone 4 years ago, my question is this, if they show his wages were being paid in, he was like a child and devastated by our split wouldn't do anything for himself. I know how bad this looks but is this actually illegal? I don't know whether to admit to the further 2 years and explain i didn't know it was against the rules, would this go in my favour? they said that owning up would go in my favour regarding 06-08. The problem is I could never go through a court case, I can;t function in my everyday life at the mo and so i would have to plead guilty anyway. This is killing me, I haven't sought legal advice as I'm to ashamed of myself to speak about it to anyone. would I likely get a penalty and repayment if i own up now? or would they still prosecute me? I am so worried about bringing shame on my family, my kids especially, I deserve what I get but they don't. please please can someone who knows advise me?

[scaredmumoffour]

Hi,
Im in a similar position. My on/off partner has used the joint account to put his wages in,he would leave a certain amount in the account and take out the rest for himself. Its only in the last 5 months that i go his name took off and he pays a standing order into my acount for the kids. Im also pregnant by him too and have 3 other children with him. I think it doesnt look good for me but i dont think its illegal?
I too am scared about going to court,bringing shame on my kids,in particular my eldest who starts his gcses next year. Not sure if there is a confidentiality clause if there are children in the family?
My claim is currently being investigated - at this stage ive not been invited to an interview under caution.
I think you should see someone at cab - be honest with them. ITs not their place to judge you - they are there to help. You have had mental health issues in the past and still do - im sure that has to be taken into consideration?
Hopefully someone will answer your post with alot more knowledge than myself.
Good luck.

[scaredtodeath]

Thank you for your reply, I have read your case, I have done wrong and will acknowledge that, I don't know what came over me, I hate people like me, its madness. As far as my mental health issues go that started in august officially so I only have proof since then, I'm just thinking I've had probs coping with real life for a long time, my mind seems unable to cope with unpleasant thoughts. I actually signed off in september because after getting ill I tried to face up to all my stressers, then a month later i get called in, I assume the investigation was for a lot longer than that as they had so much stuff. they've asked me to provide bank statements, mortgage stuff etc, not sure if I am obliged to do this but I am trying to co-operate with them, I'm just not sure if I should admit to whats not strictly true because it looks so suspicious, I really need help from someone who knows.

[scaredtodeath]

can't anyone please help me?

[enamae]

I've advised admin that you require urgent advice. Someone should be along soon.

[Rooster-UK]

Hi Scaredtodeath.
Just to let you know that the Site Team are aware of your problem.
This is not a field that I, personally, am knowledgeable about, but there are other team members who can advise you.
Bear in mind that most of them are at work at the moment so will not be online until later in the day.
Just keep an eye on this thread..... and keep your chin up.

Regards, Rooster.

[scaredtodeath]

thank you so much for acknowledging me

[enamae]

Can somebody please help "scaredtodeath"?. She's been waiting since the 10th and needs urgent advice.

[enamae]

Anyone??

[Ell-enn]

Hi there, I think you need to engage the help of the Citizen's Advice Bureau - the won't judge you, and they can be a marvellous help by speaking to the relevant people and negotiating for you. Also, if you explain to your doctor what has happened I'm sure he would be able to give you the necessary statement they require regarding your current (and previous) health issues.

You do need to get advice and help from the CAB, if you are struggling with mental illness you will find it difficult to deal with the complexity of this on your own and there are people who are trained to help in your situation.

Kind Regards

Ell-enn

[enamae]

If you have trouble getting an appointment with the Citizens Advice Bureau, another place you could try is C.L.S. - Community Legal Services. They helped us with my husbands Disability Living Allowance appeal.

Do you have a time limit - i.e. have you been called in for another interview or are they waiting for you to receive your statements?

[scaredtodeath]

Just waiting for the info I have to provide, thanks for replying all

[emmaf01]

You really need to have proper legal advice. CAB are good, CLS are also excellent. If you can't get either, see if you can get some legal advice from a local solicitor specialising in benefit fraud cases.

I don't know where you are but you need to build up your side of the case. You need to get your mental health evidence as mitigating circumstances, and know exactly what you have claimed in error. Is is Income Support or Child Tax Credit or both? Will there also be housing benefit and council tax benefit? You REALLY need someone to guide you through all of this, as the DWP will not help you in any way.

Everyone makes bad decisions in their lives- it doesn't make them bad people! But you mental health will make everything seem ten times worse and you will end up blaming yourself and this will only make your health worse. Get help now from legal services.

Just PM me if you need to talk- I'm around most days.

[Messydesk]

I agree that everyone makes bad decisions and sometimes we let things go becasue its easier when we have other problems. You rally do need someone to actually talk to - I found National Debt line quite good. The most important thing is to get your paperwork in order and to know eaxctly what you are having to deal with. Getting things straight and all the letters and so on in order will help you to see things clearly and make you feel better. I found that when all my papers were in chaos my mind was in chaos too - although in my case the appeal tibunal has now asked for 13 years bank statements of every account I have ever had in that time - and even I now I am a bit organised cant do that one - so I am going to write and tell them that this is unreasonable. Remeber, you might have made a mistake but you are still a human being and as such any other human being whether they are in a government department or whatever must respect you. Good luck.

[emmaf01]

You really do need some legal help, someone on your side to look after your interests. I don't know what area you are in, but if you PM me with a general area, I could see if I could find any phone numbers/services close to you.

[scaredtodeath]

Those who have read my former posts will know my situation, please read if you haven't. I want to know if it would be possible to try to "negotiate" with them, I will willingly accept a caution and repayment to avoid court. My mental health is deteriorating, I'm having palpitations again and think I'm going to drop dead at any second, even tho I'm only guilty of 2 years which I have told them, I will accept whatever they say I have to repay plus penalties. Is this reasonable or would they laugh at me? I realise I would e making myself look guilty but compared to the hell I am living in it would be well worth it. who would I approach to ask this? I can't get hold of CAB, line is always engaged