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Old 19th July 2007, 22:59   #41 (permalink)
BaldyBaldwin
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

how do mexicans keep warm?

they use chicken fajitas
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Old 19th July 2007, 23:00   #42 (permalink)
BaldyBaldwin
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

a lorry shed a load of onions on the M1

police have asked drivers to cry on the hard shoulder
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Old 20th July 2007, 08:32   #43 (permalink)
diabolical
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

what's black and white and red all over?



a sunburnt penguin
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Old 20th July 2007, 08:38   #44 (permalink)
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

what's yellow and dangerous?



shark-infested custard
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Old 20th July 2007, 12:37   #45 (permalink)
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

Woodworm in a wall.

Thats a joke my dad told me whan I was about 10. Needless to say, I didn't ask him for any more after that.
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Old 20th July 2007, 12:58   #46 (permalink)
olliebollie
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

A rabbit walks into a butcher and asks: "Got any lettuce ?"

Butcher says: "No."

Rabbit says: "Got any lettuce?"

Butcher says: "No , this is a butcher's shop "

Rabbit says: "Got any lettuce ?"

Butcher says: "No, we have no lettuce."

Rabbit says: "Got any lettuce?"

B utcher says: "No, we haven't got any f**king lettuce."

Rabbit says: "Got any lettuce?"

Butcher says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any f**king lettuce! Ask me again and I'll nail your f**king ears to the counter you irritating tw*t b*stard of a f**king rabbit !"

Rabbit says: "Got any nails?"

Butcher says: "No"

Rabbit says: "Got any lettuce?
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Old 21st July 2007, 08:03   #47 (permalink)
Cymraeg
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

What have an egg and a tomato got in common ?
Neither of them can drive a tractor.


What do you call a vicar on a bike?
A cyclist.

What's green and bounces along the outback?
Skippy the Cooking Apple.


What have Jimmy Hill and Yul Bryner got in common?
They are both bald except Jimmy Hill.



Sounded so much funnier after a few last night :o
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Old 22nd July 2007, 00:50   #48 (permalink)
kia
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

ollie bollie errr dont get it lol xxkia
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Old 23rd July 2007, 00:00   #49 (permalink)
suzieblooz
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

A couple made a deal that whomever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his
word he made contact, "Connie....Connie. "
"Is that you, Joe?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bath in the warm sun, and then
have sex a couple of more times.
Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon.
After supper, it's back to golf course again.
Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again."
"Oh, Joe you surely must be in Heaven!"
"Not exactly... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona."
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Old 23rd July 2007, 00:10   #50 (permalink)
kia
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

i didnt think that was really bad just funny lol xxkia
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Old 23rd July 2007, 00:18   #51 (permalink)
vincymum
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

What do you get if you cross a cat, and a parrot?


A CARROT
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Old 23rd July 2007, 21:48   #52 (permalink)
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

Why do elephants were pink ballet shoes when they dance in the jungle?

Cos they'd get their white shoes dirty!
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Old 23rd July 2007, 22:33   #53 (permalink)
kia
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

pmsl good one
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Old 24th July 2007, 17:03   #54 (permalink)
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

That just proves that djinn do have a sense of humour...

Seriously though, if you ever get offered wishes, think about them for at least a week, and make sure they're lawyer-grade watertight and completely unambiguous - there's no Supply of Wishes and Fantasies Act for comeback...
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Old 24th July 2007, 17:22   #55 (permalink)
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

'Genie' is the Westernised form of Djinni, and the plural is Djinn - they're spirits of the desert and of invisibility and shapechanging. Bad ones are ifrit, or marad. They look human and can marry/eat/sleep/reproduce like humans. They're meant to be made of the element of fire as humans are meant to be made of the element earth
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Old 29th July 2007, 10:54   #56 (permalink)
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

Bertie Bassett goes to the doctor with a rash on his willy. He drops his trousers and shows the doctor...
DOCTOR: 'Oh dear, what have you been up to then?'
BERTIE: 'F***ing allsorts!'
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Old 29th July 2007, 11:04   #57 (permalink)
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Paddy and Murphy walking down the street. In the gutter there is a sandwich with wires coming out of it.. Paddy is concerned it could be a bomb and says to Murphy 'Do you think its ticking?'.....'No' says Murphy 'I think its beef'
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Old 29th July 2007, 11:53   #58 (permalink)
nevos
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Default Re: Really Bad Jokes

Adam and Eve sitting on the river bank:-

Adam: Hey Eve let's make love?

Eve: Adam do you really love me?

Adam: Do I have a choice?
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