opinions on dating web sites

jansus · 18th June 2007, 19:27

My friend (honestly!) has just come out of a 7 year relationship -

She is very attaractive and young looking and has three grown up children.

I feel the dating websites can be useful but really think she just needs someone to chat to in the same position as herself as it is early days after the breakup. Her children hate her going on the date websites.

Be interested to hear of other peoples experiences- she is getting depressed as she thinks no-one will want her as she has children -she is managing to get out a couple of nights a week with friends - but as funds are low really needs other people to chat to.

any comments?

besides thank goodness the bear garden is back !!

Perhaps we could start a "singles bear garden thread"

jansus · 18th June 2007, 20:50

gosh - you are all quiet out there!

You must all be happily married or in long term relationships ?!

or perhaps you dont know the BEAR GArDEN IS OPEN!!

barracad · 18th June 2007, 21:06

If she is looking to meet somebody else with children then dating sites may be a good idea as, like herself, people with children may decide to use those sites if they have to stay in with children.

If she is happy using the dating sites then there's certainly nothing wrong with it and I'm sure many people have got together through them or they wouldn't be so popular!

jansus · 18th June 2007, 21:11

I worry a bit about her meeting people this way - but suppose if she is sensible and takes a friend the first time it is no different than meeting someone in a bar ?

It is just that on some sites there seems to be a lot of lies in the profiles - I hope she does not waste too much money finding the right site.

She is just a bit vunerable at the moment.

Jansus

thereshope! · 18th June 2007, 21:15

My mum has been a member of various dating sites over the past year and judging by her experiences I would be very careful.

The main cause for concern are scammers who try their best to prey on vunerable lonley people and they are very good at what they do.
My mum was nearly conned by a guy who claimed to live in London with his 6 yr old autistic daughter.
When I checked his IP address he was actually in Nigeria.I confronted him and he became quite threatening.

So please tell your friend to exercise caution.
It may be a good idea to take a look at this website Internet Love Scams

My mum says its been like looking for a needle in a haystack in trying to find a genuine guy !

barracad · 18th June 2007, 21:18

I guess she needs to just speak to people for a while before meeting them, make sure she speaks to them on the phone a few times first, also if she does decide to meet somebody then she should always tell somebody who she is meeting, where and when, and get somebody to phone her a short while into the date.

Unfortunately there are some idiots out there but as long as she is sensible she should be fine.

jansus · 18th June 2007, 21:24

thanks for that -I will check your link

As I have been helping her look - it struck me how this way you are so quick to form opinions just on a photo - and I know the initial attraction is important but I was thinking that if I posted a photo of MOH people probably wouldnt contact him (Sorry hubby)- but as a partner he has been the best.

Also the men who post photos with their shirts off - yuk!

or photos obviously taken about 20 years before? sad.

Thats whats good about chatting on here you can get to know people without preconceptions.

Jansus

GSOH -sometimes
blonde- sometimes
curvy-always
adventurous- if I had half a chance

thereshope! · 18th June 2007, 21:34

Most of the scammers tend to use models portfolios so I guess if they look pretty hot then they aint the real mccoy !

My mum is 60 and when she had all these fit young blokes emailing her it was a bit of a giveaway lol !

The scammers are really good though,and my mum was in contact with one on a daily basis ,by phone and email and she was gutted when he turned out to be another scammer.

Must admit I was pretty blunt with him and I did rip a strip off him when I emailed him lol !!!

Hope things work out for your friend

Hope xx

noobrider · 18th June 2007, 22:26

well aside rom dating sites i must admit to having met some very good friends on general chat sites and one family in particular are now very close friends that we often go on holiday with and share birthdays and special occassions with despite being 150 miles apart. we always make the effort to meet up and all the kids enjoy the adventure.

I have met a lot of very good friends through chat sites so I would probably recommend joining chat sites or forums that deal with a subject your mum is interested in. that way you cut the possibilty of finding scammers down considerably as they are more likely to be genuine people that at least share a common interest or problem rather than people who are just looking to get laid

MilkTrayMan · 19th June 2007, 04:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by jansus

I feel...dating websites can be useful

any comments?

I once seen a T.V. prog on Ch4 about a Bloke in the U.S. who 'married' a pony!

But 'dating' a website?...Is that even legal???...lol...

jansus · 19th June 2007, 13:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by MilkTrayMan

I once seen a T.V. prog on Ch4 about a Bloke in the U.S. who 'married' a pony!

But 'dating' a website?...Is that even legal???...lol...

Ha Ha LOL

You are right - I was so excited at seeing the bear garden was back forgot basic grammar. But at least I dont write whole threads without punctuation. Yet!

Or maybe its just you milktrayman? Everybody else knew what I meant?

(XFILES MUSIC)

The cobbett slayer · 19th June 2007, 14:50

I met my THIRD wife through the internet (nuff said really:o )

Lisa_martin · 19th June 2007, 16:25

I met my husband off the internet, not a dating site tho, and my dad met his wife off the internet too.

But to be fair, that was in the day of chat rooms!

bally35 · 19th June 2007, 17:48

I just need to get rid of Mr Bally , give it a go and then voice an opinion.
Any websites got tips for getting rid of husband???

jansus · 19th June 2007, 17:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa_martin

I met my husband off the internet, not a dating site tho, and my dad met his wife off the internet too.

But to be fair, that was in the day of chat rooms!

Thats very encouraging

I think that is what I was asking as well - are there any good chat rooms out there for singles?

I have told my friend about the scam above and funnily enough it had already happened on one of the sites - people sending photos and details that were blatant lies. Sad really because when you are lonely you look forward to each email.

I found one website where the children aspect is not such a problem (parents already ) So have told her about that.

Jansus

jansus · 19th June 2007, 18:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by bally35

I just need to get rid of Mr Bally , give it a go and then voice an opinion.
Any websites got tips for getting rid of husband???

thought about that - but after looking through some of the photos and some of the comments written on the sites - I think its definitely a case of "grass greener"!

Try looking on the spice girl thread there are good hints for disposal if you manage it!

jansus

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