A friend of mine thought she'd have a go at writing an 'typical life' version of the well known Christmas song, you have to sing it through as you read it, all the words do fit, See what you think! Feel free to add any alternative suggestions if you think they fit better
12 days of skint-mas!
On the 1st day of Christmas the postman gave to me,
A Phone bill to pay immediate-ly!
On the 2nd day of Christmas I decorated tree,
Sent a cheque for phone bill
Got a card that wasn’t for me!
On the 3rd day of Christmas as happy as could be,
Posted seasons greetings
Made a list of presents
And ordered a Christmas tur-key.
On the 4th day of Christmas t’was cold and i-cy,
Time to get the gloves on
Find some woolly jumpers
Wrap up warm for winter
Or be ill and miss the chance to par-ty!
On the 5th day of Christmas the cashpoint said to me,
No Mo-ney!
Oh well never mind
I don’t care
Positive I’ll be
Cheese, chips and beans will do me!
On the 6th day of Christmas de-livered to me,
Letters from the bank saying
No Mo-ney!
Tried to phone them up
All calls barred
Havent paid the bill
Happy Christmas from me-ee to thee!
On the 7th day of Christmas the headlines worried me,
Turkey farms had bird-flu
Hadnt paid the gas bill because
No Mo-ney!
Got a red demand
Three rotten zits
Two threatening calls
So I sat all day and watched TV.
On the 8th Day of Christmas depression got to me,
Half price sales at Argos
Cant do any shopping
Havent any food left because
No Mo-ney!
Last of milks gone off
No tea bags
Havent got a crust
No-ot e-ven a cuppa coff-ee!
On the 9th day of Christmas the doctor said to me,
Anxiety and depression
Heres a course of tablets
Can you talk about it
Do you know the reason?
No Mo-ney!
I’ve had threats for bills
I cant pay
Starting to despair
Wha-ats to be-e-come of me?
On the 10th day of Christmas you can stick fes-tiv-ity,
Didn’t want to get up
Put 2 pairs of socks on
Only one clean jumper
No more washing powder
Havent got a loo roll because
No Mo-ney!
Lost the will to live
No rea-son
Hair is going grey
And im o-only twenty-three!
On the 11th Day of Christmas su-i-cidle as could be,
Tried to get some dosh out
Cashpoint wouldn’t pay me
Sorry no more statements
Wouldn’t give my card back
Bank had closed up early
Went to catch a bus - realised
No Mo-ney!
Had to leg it home
Got cold and wet
Opened up the door
Had no heat or light to see!
On the 12th day of Christmas, completed po-ver-ty,
Social hadn’t paid me
Lost all my details
Bank whacked on charges
Turned cheques to rubber
Missing direct de-bits
Cancelling standing orders because
No Mo-ney!
I had CCJ’s
Been cut off
Collectors at my door
So I filed for bank-rupt-cy!
12 days of skint-mas!!!! 
