Blondes Rool the Wurld!

[MilkTrayMan]

Shopping Strategies

A blonde walks into a shop and says, "I'd like to buy that TV over there."

The owner replies, "Sorry, we don't sell TVs to blondes."

So the blonde leaves but comes back the next day wearing a brown wig. She says, "I'd like to buy that TV over there."

But the owner replies, "Sorry, we don't sell TVs to blondes."

The blonde leaves the shop in a fit of rage.
Determined to get that TV, she goes to the plastic surgeon to get some work done.
When it's all over, she ends up looking like a 60-year-old Brazilian man.

She goes straight into the shop and says, "I'd like to buy that TV over there."

But again the owner replies, "Sorry, we don't sell TVs to blondes."

The blonde becomes very angry and asks the owner how he knew that she was the same person all along.

The owner replies, "Well, only a blonde would point to a microwave and call it a TV."

[MilkTrayMan]

Lunch Times

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Brazilian blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time, I'm going to jump off too."

The Brazilian blonde opened his lunch and said, "Spag Bog again. If I get a spag bog sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death.
The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too.
The Brazilian blonde opens his lunch, sees the spag bog and jumps to his death also.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping.
She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realise he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the Brazilian blonde's bird. "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "he makes his own lunch."

[Hippy-chick]

<laffin>

[MilkTrayMan]

Maths Experiment

A group of scientists decide to prove that blondes are not really dumb.
For this reason, they gather 80,000 natural blondes at Wembely stadium.
The host randomly picks out one blonde and asks her to come down to the center.
They are standing at the microphone as he asks her:

"What's two times two?"

"Five", answers the blonde and smiles.

The guy shakes his head, but the whole stadium shouts, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"

Then the guy asks her, "What's three times three?"

"Eight", answers the blonde proudly.

The guy is about to let her return to her seat, but the whole stadium starts to shout again, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"

So the guy asks her one more question. "What's four times four?"

"Sixteen", answers the blonde shyly.

Before the guy expresses his reaction, the whole stadium starts to shout, "Give her one more chance, give her one more chance!"

[MilkTrayMan]

Cowboy Holidays

The sheriff of a small town walked out into the street and saw a Brazilian blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and boots.

The sheriff arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks, "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"

The cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff...
I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little redhead asked me to go out to her caravan with her... and I did.
We went inside and she pulled off her top and asked me to pull off my shirt. so I did...
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants so I did...

Then she pulls off her knickers and asks me to pull off my shorts, so I did...
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of funny and says, 'Now go to town cowboy...'

So here I am."

[MilkTrayMan]

Gambling

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table.
A very attractive Brazilian blonde woman arrived and bets £20,000 on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!"
Then she shouted, "Yes! Yes! I won! I won!"
She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers.
She then picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know, I thought you were watching!"

The Moral is: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men!!!...

[Woolleykat]

Got something against blondes then MTM - have yer, have yer

[MilkTrayMan]

The Getaway Car

[MilkTrayMan]

Originally Posted by Woolleykat

Got something against blondes then MTM - have yer, have yer

I am Brazilian.
...I hold something against EVERYONE!!!...


...lol...

[Woolleykat]

But which part lol

[MilkTrayMan]

Medical Examinations

A pretty young Brazilian blonde visiting his new doctor for the first time found himself alone in a small waiting room.
He began undressing nervously, preparing himself for the upcoming examination.
Just as he draped the last of his garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young female doctor strode in.

Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked her nude patient up and down carefully, with considerable appreciation.

"Mr Juan Rodrigo Bermejo," she said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination."

[Woolleykat]

Lovin it!!!

[Woolleykat]

Not watching XF then MTM????

[MilkTrayMan]

Originally Posted by Woolleykat

Not watching XF then MTM????

I am Brazilian.
...We prefer Dave!...


...lol...

[MilkTrayMan]

Drink Driving

A Brazilian blonde woman gets pulled over for doing 85 in a 30mph zone.
The cop asks her for her licence and log book.

She says, "Licence, what's that?"

He replies, "It's what they ask for when you prove your I.D."

She says, "Oh, I get it," and hands him her licence.

Then she asks what a log book is.

He says, "It's probably in your glove box. Just open it and give me the papers inside."

She does, so he returns to his car.

He calls the police dispatcher and says, "I think I just pulled over the dumbest Brazilian blonde ever! She didn't even know what a licence was."

The dispatcher says, "I know who she is. She's driving a new BMW, with pink mirrors?"

The cop says, "Yeah, how'd you know?"

The dispatcher says, "Never mind that, just go up to her car and drop your pants."

The cop says, "No freakin' way!"

The dispatcher says, "Just trust me, all the cops in town have done it."

So the cop agrees and reluctantly walks up to her car.
He looks around and then drops his pants.

The Brazilian blonde woman says, "Another breathalyser test? No problem, I pass these all the time."