What do you think about sites like Facebook etc?

[tooth_fairy]

Just curious really......not being a great fan of such sites myself, I am curious as to what goes on on these sites, do they encourage people to cheat, do they make people think the grass is greener on the other side, are they really all they are cracked up to be. Consider this story and then tell me what you think.........


The story, husband...easily lead and doesn't always know the correct behaviour boundaries for a married man (ie kissing women he's met for all of 5 minutes, with tongues, e-mailing ex's wanting to 'meet for coffee...maybe more') joins Faebook, wife warns him about such sites and that they might not be a good idea for the easily lead....husband assures wife no such thing will happen and he is, after all, a married man and a happily married man at that....aaahhh!

Wife joins Facebook to keep in touch with family and does so quite happily.

Husband has lots of friends, wife has lots of friends.

Wife spends an hour a week on Facebook, husband spends several hours a day on Facebook. Wife is happy for husband to see Facebook profile and messages. Husband is cagey, will not let wife see profile or messages. Wife tells husband he's stupid and if he hasn't got anything to hide, why is he hiding the laptop or going upstairs to use internet.

Wife is bonafide doormat. Husband's best friend contacts wife, saying has wife seen such and such message on husband's profile. Wife is not a friend of husband's on Facebook, cannot see the message, best friend sends copy to wife and allows wife his password and e-mail to get into Facebook, wife see's comment and is upset. Comment says 'Today was soooo good, tender and loving, so glad. Love you xxx', Wife initially thinks nothing of comment, husband has lots of female friends and decides not to say anything to husband.

Best friend add's the commenter to his friends list, commenter accepts. Best friend starts a conversation with commenter, saying he lives in the same area, he's fairly new to the area, could commenter give him some advice about places to go, what commenter thinks of the area, reassures commenter he's not a weirdo nor looking for a relationship, simply a web circle of friends. Commenter responds and says thanks for being honest, offers advice about area and says it is a good job he's not looking for a relationship, she's in one and it is a mess. Best friend asks her why it is a mess, she replies saying it is because he is married and he has not told his wife, wife obviously doesn't treat husband well enough for him to look elsewhere but now commenters boyfriend has started to go cold on her, she is disappointed.

Best friend asks hers whether or not commenter knew boyfriend was married. Commenter replies No, not intially but she also has a long distance relationship going on too, although not working out. Commenter also states she feels sorry for boyfriends wife at home, the wife just had major surgery and is quite poorly, making things difficult for commenter and boyfriend, commenter has not seen boyfriend for 5 days now, commenter wonders if boyfriends wife has found out.

Best friend begins engaging in private dialogue with commenter via Facebook, commnter confides more in best friend, including messages from boyfriend to commenter.

Best friend has fears confirmed, what should he do, Wife is his friend too. Best friend decided to tell wife and show her the evidence. Wife devastated, angry with best friend too. Does wife now confront husband, what will husband say?

Husband's track record is such
E-mailing an ex and asking her to meet for coffeee and maybe more like the old times.
Previously asking to meet with younger women on another networking site.
Being caught having a thing with a female friend which cluminated in wife (then fiancee) giving husband an ultimatum 'naked hide and seek with the girl' or your wedding in 6 weeks....opted for the wedding.
E-mailing another ex 3 weeks before the wedding asking for her to make sure he manages to have sex with someone else before he is married.


What should wife do.....Is Facebook to blame, does it encourage such infidelity?


And before anyone asks, yes this story is true.......

TF x

[blueskies]

I don't think that it is Facebook's fault. This is something that has been going on for more years than the internet has been around. Facebook just provides for a new location for it to happen. I think the wife in this instance is lucky to have found out, it is just a shame that it is extremely hurtful.

I have recently come out of a short relationship because my girlfriend was unable to keep her knickers on. She slept with 3 different people behind my back in three months (the first 2 being within 7 days of getting together). She met none of these men on the internet.

[Hippy-chick]

I agree - I don't think this is Facebook's fault. I had a boyfriend who acted like this years ago without Facebook. I found out from a friend - and was pleased I had.

Poor bluey *pats him on the head*

[revolting peasant]

The internet does not cause infidelity - people do. You meet new people all the time, be it on the net or in "real life". It doesn't mean you have to sleep with them!

Oh - bear in mind that 90% or so of profiles on internet sites are exaggerated to say the least. Many are completely false.

[tiglet]

I had a husband who slept with three different women behind my back 9now a very ex-husband) and he didn't meet any of them online.

I LOVE facebook - it's a great way to catch up with old mates and make arrangements with the usual crew. Hubby and I know eachothers logins and passwords, so neither of us could have it away without the other knowing about it.

[revolting peasant]

Originally Posted by tiglet

Hubby and I know eachothers logins and passwords, so neither of us could have it away without the other knowing about it.

Way to go - I have a facebook page and my wife has MySpace. We know each others logins. Only if either was changed would we have grounds for suspicion.

[tiglet]

Absolutely - if you've got nothing to hide, why would you?

[blueskies]

I do have a problem with two people poking me on Facebook though

[Hippy-chick]

I don't know what the problem is.

[tiglet]

Point taken honey - I've just spanked you instead.

[Hippy-chick]

And I pinched you ... I think

[tomterm8]

I would suggest Wife needs to kick husband in private parts, hire good lawyer, divorce husband, take all his money, and get Boyfriend who isn't a burke.

[tiglet]

I would second that.

[barracad]

Originally Posted by blueskies

I do have a problem with two people poking me on Facebook though

Fine I'll just throw mashed potato at you instead...

[Hippy-chick]

He's throwing sheep now.