Confusing song lyrics

[Hippy-chick]

"I wanna Be Yours...
I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust
If you like your coffee hot
let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots
I wanna be yours

I wanna be your raincoat
for those frequent rainy days
I wanna be your dreamboat
when you want to sail away
Let me be your teddy bear
take me with you anywhere
I don’t care
I wanna be yours

I wanna be your electric meter
I will not run out
I wanna be the electric heater
you’ll get cold without
I wanna be your setting lotion
hold your hair in deep devotion
Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean
that’s how deep is my devotion"

John Cooper Clarke

I have been thinking about this song for a long time now. What does it mean?

Why does he want to be my vacuum cleaner? Why would a man wish to be an electrical appliance? Does he want to sit in the corner of my flat and be ignored? Does he want to be kicked as I stumble by him? Why would he want that?

Please help!

[barracad]

You think that's bad? Literature is far worse than song lyrics:

"And no more turn aside and brood
Upon love's bitter mystery;
For Fergus rules the brazen cars..."
W.B.Yeats

What's a brazen car? Who the hell's Fergus? I didn’t have much to do this afternoon, so I started making a list of lines from literature that sound good, but don’t appear to mean anything. Do these suggest anything to you?:

"France was long a despotism tempered by epigrams." (Thomas Carlyle)

"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons." (T.S.Eliot)

Coffee spoons? It doesn't seem to make sense.

[Hippy-chick]

Well I do think it is bad. I also feel that JCC is lying to me - how can he be my Ford Cortina? Does he have the ability to turn himself into a not very good car? How does he know that I want a car anyway? Where will I park it? How will I afford to insure it - let alone put petrol into it?

And - the biggest sticking point. He says he will never rust. Yet empirical evidence suggests that, in fact, cars do rust.

Why should I listen to this man?

[barracad]

Don't listen to him. Listen to Bryan Adams instead. Some great lyrics in "Summer of '69":

Got my first real sex change,
I was 5 at the time.
Played it till my fingers bled.
It was the summer of 69.

And then later:

Standing on your mother's corpse,
You told me that you'd wait forever.
Oh, and with the hammer in my hand,
I knew that it was now or never.

[blueskies]

Or the Hot dog song by Celine Dione

'I believe that the hot dogs go on' - from Titanic

' I want to staple the vicar' - We are family - Sister sledge

[barracad]

Or Spice Girls "Wannabe":

If you wanna do my mother
You gotta get her a Benz

[Hippy-chick]

Originally Posted by barracad

Don't listen to him. Listen to Bryan Adams instead. Some great lyrics in "Summer of '69":

Got my first real sex change,
I was 5 at the time.
Played it till my fingers bled.
It was the summer of 69.

And then later:

Standing on your mother's corpse,
You told me that you'd wait forever.
Oh, and with the hammer in my hand,
I knew that it was now or never.

Well at least that's clear. But I'm still confused. As I do like my coffee hot (who doesn't), but I'm quite happy with my coffee machine. Do I have to accept his offer? And I never use setting lotion.

I was told always to be polite and never to turn down genuine offers of help. How do I reply to JCC without seeming churlish?

[Hippy-chick]

Can nobody help me with this?

I do not need a raincoat. I gave up teddy bears many years ago. How do I say no to this man?

Do you have lyrics that confuse or annoy you? Share them with me here.

[Rooster-UK]

"Is This Love" Bob Marley.

.....with a roof-rack over her head
and....
.....I-I-I-I-I am William and Mabel

[Rooster-UK]

Or the TLC track....

....Don't go, Jason Waterfalls.

Who is Jason Waterfalls?

[sequenci]

"Excuse me whilst I kiss this guy"

- Jimi Hendrix

[barracad]

Originally Posted by Hippy-chick

Do you have lyrics that confuse or annoy you?

The Beatles:

She's got a stick in her eye, and she don't care.

[Hippy-chick]

"Send me home like an elephant stone"

Stone Roses.

[barracad]

Most confusing of all is probably Wuthering Heights (Kate Bush):

Eeee-wheee!
It's me; I'm a tree, I'm a wombat.
Oh, so cold at the end of your winter

[Hippy-chick]

"I believe in Milko"

Hot Chocolate